这两年不知不觉看了一些女性主义为主题的书。这本书也是因为一直对波伏娃这位特立独行的女性有好奇心，所以买来细细读。
书一共四百来页，中间却因为各种事情，拖拖沓沓读了近两个月。拖的时间越长自然也就越支离破碎。
这本书类似于他传的形式，介绍了波伏娃的生平。从小时候的家庭，成长经历，求学经历，到后面的哲学思想形成和发展，以及中间和萨特以及其他恋人的相处，也包含了她不同阶段作品的创作背景和相关发表反响等等，是一部了解波伏娃及其思想的很好的读物。但是由于我之前没有太涉及过波伏娃的作品，所以很多内容上不能有比较好的联系。以后有机会读了更多她的作品也可以再来复习这本书。由于波伏娃和萨特的关系，其中涉及萨特的部分也占了相当的篇幅，所以也算是对萨特以及他的哲学思想稍有介绍。
波伏娃成长的家庭是没落贵族，父亲没有继承权，母亲原本带来很多嫁妆但是后来因为母家出状况嫁妆也没有了。父亲又没有职业，所以经济上是没落的。但是波伏娃还是享受到了很好的教育。
一开始让她进行思考的是母亲的角色。母亲为家庭付出了全部的自己，但是其实自己也是有一定的撕扯的。随着波伏娃的成长，她在教育上的优秀开始让她觉得丧失了一部分女性魅力，基于这两点，展开 她对人生意义，女性角色等问题的深度思考。在和萨特的关系中，他们之间的学术交流，思想沟通是不可替代的，但是肉体的关系确实十分开放，中间有过共同的情人，也有很多单独的情人。波伏娃有过几个跟自己女学生的交往，他们没有结婚，也没有孩子。最后都是收养了‘孩子’。但是波伏娃在很长一段时间里其实对与萨特的感情是有挣扎和痛苦的。一开始给出了很多的自己，以至于萨特都觉得她失去了自己的独立性，后面也有遇到其他的爱人，有人求婚，但是波伏娃觉得没有办法完全交出自己，所以都拒绝了。她把自己大量的精力都放在写作上，用故事去阐述自己的人生思考，哲学思想。其中不乏以自己或者身边人为原型的创造，也有自己不同阶段关于不同问题的思考，从做女儿，到最后的关于衰老。其中最有名的著作就是《第二性》，成为了女性主义的经典读物。她自己本人也投身到女性主义的运动中，积极表达，促进女性事业的发展。这样的人生是孤独的，也是有趣的。
接下来有时间可以读一读第二性，以及再接触几本她的小说。
摘录：
"she wrote not only for hersellf but for her readers. Her best-selling autobiographies have been described as embodying a philosophical ambition to show 'how one's self is always shaped by others and related to others'. But her point was more than that 'No man is an island', as John Donne said. For, in addition to being related to others, her autobiographies are upheld by a conviction that being a self does not mean being the same self from birth until death. Being a self involves perpetual change with others who are also changing., in a process of irreversible becoimg."
"Philosophers sincce Plato have discussed the importance of self-understanding to living a good life. But Beauvoir's philosophical rejoinder was: what if, as a woman, 'who you are' is forbidden? What if becoming yourself simultaneously means being seen as a failure to be what tou should be - a failure as a woman, or as a lover, or as a mother? what if becoming yourself makes you the target of ridicule, spite, or shame?"
"The woman Beauvoir became was partly the result of her own choices. However, B was acutely aware of the tension between being a cause of herself and a product of other's making, of the conflict between her own desires and other's expectations. For centuries French philosophers had debated the question of whether it is better to live life seen or unseen by others. Descartes claimed that 'to live well you must live unseen'. Sartre would write reams about the objectifying 'gaze' of other people- which he thought imprisoned us in relations of subordination. B disagreed: to live well human beings must be seen by others-but they must be seen in the right way."
"We know that human beings' views of themselves change over time; psychological studies have shown repeatedly that self-concepts shift and our memories are selected to correspond to them. We also know that humans present themselves in a variety of ways depending on their audience......but between the stories we tell ourselves, the stories we tell others, and the stories they tell about us, where is the truth?"
'B wrote in her memoirs that she 'began to take an interest in the sort of figure I thought I should cut in life', taking inspiration from Jo March in Louisa May Alcott's Little Women. Even at the age of 11 B was captivated by her. Jo was not the most virtuous or beautiful for her sisters, but her passion for learning and desire to write shone like a beacon in the imagination of the young Simone.'
'Books offered B more than an education: they were a refuge from the physical and emotional deprication she encountered when she lifted her eyes from the page. They charted paths of resistance to the life that had been mapped out for her, even if they didn't yet lead to palces where women could make choices or give and receive bodily affection without shame. While the young B was inspired by characters' intellectual lives, she was discomfied by the physical; she was, to use her own word, prudish(装正经的)'
‘B wrote:'It is impossible for anyone to say 'I am sacrificing myself' without feeling bitterness. One of Maman's contradictions was that she thoroughly believed in the nobility of devotion, while at the same time she had tastes, aversions(厌恶), and desires that were too masterful for her not to loathe whatever went against them. She was continually rebelling against the restraints and the privations that she inflicted upon herself. '’
'Simon confronted confusingly contradictory expectations: to succeed as a woman she must be accomplished and educated; but not too accomplished, not too educated.'
'For B the promise of masculine aid through marriage was much less certain than that of her own abilities - she knew herself to be reliable in a way that masculine 'aid' was not. She studied hard, acculmulating qualifications rapidly.'
'1926... she sincerely believed 'a reciprocal love' was possible between them. What B wanted, in her own words, was 'a love that accompanies me through life, not that absorbs all my life'. she thought that love should 'not make all else disappear but should simply tint it with new nuances'.'
'Writing in Memoirs of a Dutiful Daughter B claimed that education and success brought more than esteem to her: it brought feelings of profound loneliness and a lack of direction. 'I was breaking away from the class to which I belonged: where was I to go?' We see this loneliness expressed in the diaries....'
'That day she was thinking about freedom agian, writing that 'it is only by free decison and thanks to the interplay of circumstances that the true self is discovered'. People aroound her talked about making choices (like deciding to marry) as if you did it once and for all. But she never felt like choices were made in that way - every choice was 'constantly in the making; it is repeated every time that I become conscioous of it'. That day she concluded that marriage if 'fundamentally immoral' - how could the self of today make decisions for the self tomorrow?'
'... she said that young girls such as herself 'have not only a reason to satisfy, but a heavy heart to subdue - and in this way I want to remain a woman, still more masculine by her brain, more feminine by her sensibility'. ....She wrote' the one who would fulfil everything doesn't exist'' (God or a man)
'...an essay by William James entitled 'What makes a life significant?', in which he asks what is it that makes every Jack see his own Jill as charmed and perfect - as a beatiful wonder of creation - when she leaves the rest of her observers stone cold. Who sees Jill more clearly - the enchanted eyes of Jack? Or the eyes that are blind to Jill's magic? Surely, James writes, it is Jack who sees the truth when he 'struggles toward a union with her inner life'. Where would any of us be if no one was willing to see us truly and seriously, 'to know us as we really are'?'
‘Human history is full of examples of people reducing other people to a single dimension of their facticity and, in doing so, failing to recognize their full humanity......rather, Sartre said that we must not take ourselves to be determined bu our facticity - because whatever the conditions of our existence, we are free to make the most of them. in1930s B was convinced that this was wrong. Sartre thought human beings were free because whatever their situation they were free to 'transcend' facticity by choosing between different ways of responding to it. Her challenge was this:'What sort of transcendence could a woman shut up in a harem(闺房) achieve?' There is a difference between having freedom and having the power to choose the actual situation where your choice has to be made. ’
'B agreed with Sartre that human beings make projects. They set goals and make limits for themselves, but those goals can always be surpassed or the limits redrawn. And even when we achieve the very thing we're after, we're ofthen disappointed. Sometimes reaching our aim makes us realize we were in it for the pursuit; sometimes, once we achieve it, we no longer want it. So what is the point of acting, and why should we care whether we act ethically? Being and Nothingness ended on a note... that it doesn't make any difference whether one gets drunk alone or is a leader of nations.'
'The question is: what part of the world is ours to care for and cultivate? Our actions. That's B's answer to the question. why act? Becasue your action is the only thing that is yours and yours alone, the means by which you become who you are. Only you can create or sustain the ties that unite you to others, for better or worse. Your relationships with others are not givens: they have to be recreated, day by day, and they can be cultivated to flouring or neglected and abused to death.'
‘...contratry to Sartre, she thought that we would be miserable if we were, for it is only with others that our own projects can succeed. ....Now B wrote that everyone wants to feel at rest about the meaning of their lives. But the 'rest' that the devoted person claims for him - or - more commonly - herself is to live for another being. Some people claim to find that rest in God and some people find that rest in being devoted to other humans. But trying to justify one's existence through devotion is problematic. For one thing, the object of devotion may be irritated if your entire happiness rests on her acceptance of something she didn't ask for. Devotion to others can become tyrannical, if through devotion we limit the other's freedom against their desire.’
'B thought that femininity gave women value in men's eyes, and that women therefore fear that if they lose it they will lose their value. She was beginning to think that when women gain value in their own eyes, through education or accomplishments, professional women often feel inferior to other women, on account of being less charming and sensitive - that is to say, less feminine. Men, by contrast, did not have to sacrifice success for masculinity, or accomplishment for feeling at ease: their professional gains were not personal loss.'
B with Algren 'he wanted her to say forever....she replied that she could not. She loved him but could not give her life to him. She didn't want to lie to him, and her heart had been aching with the question: 'Is it right to give something of oneself without being ready to give everything'? Whatever happens, she said, she knew she couldn't give him everything, and although she felt torn and anxious about this she wanted it out in the open.'
'it was at this point, in the epilogue of Force of Circumstance, that B wrote that her relationship with Sartre was the 'one undoubted success' of her life. The epilogue confused readers: it opened by claiming her success with Sartre, celebrating their unending interest in each other's conversation. But it ended with an intriguing line:'The promises have all been kept. And yet, turning an incredulous gaze towards that young and creduloud girl, I realize with stupor how much I was gypped'.'
'What B found valuable in countries where she had seen a greater number of women in the workforce was their 'self - rapport', their relation to themselves; she thought this self - understanding was derived from participation in public life. She had always been interested in what it meant to become a self, and in The Second Sex she had identified a common challenge facing women: the possibility of being 'split subjects', torn between the selves they want to be as lovers and mothers and the selves they want to become in the wider world.'
'In Old Age B argued that not all aging is equally hard, creaking or bitter because 'old age' does not refer to a single universal experience. Like becoming a woman, becoming old varies a great deal depending on the physical, psychological, economic, historical, social, cultural, geographical and family context of the individual in question. The situation of ageing dramatically affects the experience of it.'