Hi emily.
I just drafted an EMAIL to mister roberts.
Do you have time to take a look?
Sure will.
The subject isn't informative enough.
You just wrote about meeting on next Tuesday.
Really. The EMAIL is about a meeting, right?
Yes, but your subject should include the most important Information in the EMAIL.
I would write meeting invite for October fourth. Syllabus designed for business English.
Yeah that's better.
So I need to include the meeting theme and date.
Yes, but be sure to make it short.
Here you begin with dear mister roberts.
That's good.
It's better to use the recipients last name if you don't know them very well.
Right. I usually start with hi emily, since we're quite close.
Why is the first paragraph so long?
I heard He had a cold, so I asked how he was feeling.
I also suggested he get some rest.
Beginning an EMAIL with something personal can be good
But too much unnecessary Information can be distracting.
They are just right. I hope you're feeling better
That's good.
What problem does she find in his EMAIL?
I just drafted an EMAIL to mister roberts
The subject isn't informative enough.
I heard he got a cold. So I asked how he was feeling
Too much unnecessary Information can be distracting.
I also noticed that you use the word must to make requests.
It's more polite to frame them as questions and use code.
Ok. I can see why.
Making a request in a commanding way might make the recipient uncomfortable.
Yes remember the recipient can't hear or see you.
you need to show respect to your words.
Yeah, especially when it involves cooperation between departments.
How does she suggest making requests more polite?
Why is it necessary to show kindness through words in an EMAIL?
How is the conclusion of my EMAIL?
You endwith cheers followed by your name.
That's a bit informal for a sign off.
In business emails, it's better to use best or sincerely.
Okay got it.
I'm gonna make the changes and send it immediately.
Don't forget to proofread your EMAIL before sending it.
You don't want to have any grammar or spelling mistakes.
Of course.
Thank you so much.
Remember the recipient can't hear or see you.
You end with cheers followed by your name.
I'm gonna make the changes and send it immediately.
She suggests framing requests as questions.