The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People H5

Habit5: Seek first to understand, then to be understand.

Words

1.empathy

You have to build the skills of empathic  listening on a base of character that inspires openess and trust.

the ability to understand other people’s feelings and problems
 empathy with/for
 例：She had great empathy with people

sympathy是支持同意，或者同情心的意思。

 造句：Empathetic lestening is vitale in interation with others.

2.apply yourself

You've got the ability, but you just don't apply yourself.
to work very hard on something for a long time.

例：You need to prove to an employer that you can apply yourself.
造句：You need to apply yourself to read this book

3.welfare

I'm only interested in your welfare.

someone’s welfare is their health and happiness:
例：Our only concern is the children’s welfare.
造句：Comparing one's wealth with his welfare, the latter is more important.

4.experience

It is evident in how I actually experience you.

 if you experience a problem, event, or situation, it happens to you or affects you：experience problems/difficulties
例：Many old people will experience problems as the result of retirement.
造句：The young need to experience difficulties for themselves in order to learn from them.

5.square

If your private performance doesn't square with your public performance, it's very hard for me to open up with me.

square (something) with something if you square two ideas, statements etc with each other or if they square with each other, they are considered to be in agreement:
 例：His story simply does not square with the facts.
造句：I‘ll take the day off, if I can square with my boss.

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Thoughts
我们从小学习读书，写作，说话，却从来没有学过如何倾听。在交流的过程中，我们要不就是基本不听他人的观点，只想着如何让对方接受自己的观点；要么就是表面上似乎在听，我们点头说是，可是心里却没有真正的在理解地方。

最典型的应该就是书中提到的关于家长和孩子交流的例子了。小朋友说自己不想上学，家长根本没有站在小朋友的角度想想是不是他在学校受人欺负了？被老师教育了？还是上课跟不上？ 家长直接站在自己的角度说，一定要去好好学习啊，我付出了那么多就是为了让你上这个好学校。

显然，这个孩子的问题根本没有解决，家长只是用自己的思维模式试图去说服孩子。而孩子不去学校的原因还是没有找到。

没有找到根本原因就无法对症下药，问题还是无法解决。

所以有效的沟通一定是建立在认真倾听及理解的基础上。这个方式对销售也适用。高级的销售就是试图帮顾客解决他的问题。

The amateur salesman sells products; the professional sells solutions to needs and problems。