曾經的遺書，見笑了

I can't afford to hold my ambition.  I despair of something and puzzled myself . I fought against despair ,but despair gives courage to a coward that seems to be no use. The hamper is to strong ,I always be defeated. Life could go on, through not the way I want . The importance is my mind,it tells not to bear it,beat it ! When I couldn't do it ,the worse situation came.  I don't expect to die in order to release ,because I think everything should be in accordance with the original run . The earth is made up of biological and non-biological and I don't believe the later have the ability to appreciate . As all , the aim that we do something just for the living beings such as a cat or yourself. Maybe it sounds like idealism . Not all people could do it perfect , I mean, there are lots of people have the same hamper as me. I still have thousands of words ,but I am really tired . It always so sad when I alive , but loath to life when I face to the death . By the way, I  just want that some parents will enlighten from this , there are lots of hampers could avoid after all .