It’s been 3 weeks. I purposely haven’t renewed all the hacks, techniques, skills that I’ve learned from that 2 day workshop too much. The reason I have been doing this is because i want to see what’s still on my mind after a while. People say, time will tell, right?
What’s still on my mind? On Aug 18th, I scheduled my first after-training workshop of “storytelling to influence” at Wuhan No.1 Toastmasters Club. Engaging the audience was the only thing I had been thinking about all the times. Before the workshop started, I used "presentation pyramid" & “less is more” to design my slides, and paid attention to the font, color and pictures, tried to make it catchy and striking. When the workshop started, I divided them into several groups, and got them talking and kept them talking with a lots of open ended questions. Every answer could get one score. During the workshop, I gave them time as much as I could to practice some specific topics. At the end of workshop, I awarded top 3 of all the groups some lovely gifts. The whole procedure was unexpectedly smooth. And the feeling was totally different from the workshops I gave before. I know there is still a long way to go, ——if I want to have the humorous and easy style as Jeff did, if I wanted to be as knowledgeable and skillful as Jeff. However, I realized the one thing and the most important thing that I have learned from Jeff, which is “it’s not about me”.
Yes, when we think as a trainer, it’s not about how intelligent and powerful of us, “it’s not about me”——it’s about the trainee, about how they feel, and what they get; when we design our slides, it’s not about how abstract and good-looking we can make it, “it’s not about me”——it’s about the audience, about what they see and how they brains work; when we are delivering messages on the stage, it’s not about what we talk and what we want, “it’s not about me”——it’s about the listeners, about how they can receive and how much they can gain.
It’s never about me.
It’s about them, about establishing a connection with the persons we wanted to talk to, about building rapport with audience. It is ESSENTIAL in order to influence them. Without establishing rapport first, the trainers will go nowhere.
Jeff’s training was an excellent example to demonstrate the power of "it's not about me". I kept thinking how Jeff did this. His reputation and accomplishments speak louder than everyone else in that room, which put him in an advantaged position. However, instead of showing off, he showed us vulnerability of sharing sensitive information from the very start. And then, the style of his interactive communication, the way of his speaking, the using of his body language and dress code, the design of his slides, it’s all about audience. Not mention 5 ways to engage your audience, presentation pyramid, 5 PowerPoint rules, storytelling to influence, and David Rock's SCARF model......by the way, the part I like most is how to engage the audience. I’ve never thought about this. Before, I was always thinking how to make my workshop interesting, how to make my presentation impressive, how to show them the power of my thoughts ...those are all wrong, incredible wrong ...Yes, one thing I’ve learned from that 2 day training, is “it’s not about me”. Because there are a LOT of factors to consider to be a good trainer, but EVERYTHING has to fit together. All the hacks and techniques are very important, but it’s still superficial. Just a bundle of tricks is not enough! how to fit the techniques together into one streamlined cohesive training process that leads us to success.
I kept thinking, when I walk into a room with a bunch of strangers, what would I do to establish a quick rapport with everyone? When I am making a speech or workshop, can I naturally drawn to those who look angry and upset or those with smiles and laughing? When I design a workshop, can I actually put other individuals’ wants, needs, and perceptions of reality ahead of my own? I used to think I can’t be a good trainer, because I am very introverted. But if it’s not about me...haha, thanks to Jeff. I gain some hope and confidence about being a trainer. I might not be able to change my personality, but i have a chance to build a pleasurable feeling for audience by sharing a common ground or building a connection with them, and even building trust to some extent. By doing this, I would be increasing my chances of success as a trainer.
The funny thing is that I didn't know how crucial they are that “it’s not about me” is the most POWERFUL asset when creating attraction, forming bonds and rapport with audience. By observing & learning from Jeff, our verbal and nonverbal skills, along with with our perception of the subcommunication going on in the workshop, are what give us true influence and persuasive ability with other people. Because the one thing that we don't want as humans, is to be left out or feel as if we're being ignored in interaction.
And that is where this training has helped me most: Jeff gives me the techniques and strategies, for sure, but it goes a lot further. It goes behind the techniques and strategies and shows me what makes them tick, what makes them work, when to apply them, when NOT to apply them and so on. what is the best attitude to take when trying to be a good trainer? Make sure the other person walks away better for having met you. Yes, “it's not about me”. With this attitude, we can put an end to the frustration, and develop our skills to massive levels of success; we can have workshops that motivate people to like us and trust us; we can create presentations that bristle with energy and draw people to us like a magnet...
