Section 2 - Part 2 -~~1| Helping Children Deal with Their Feelings

【赏析者】弼马温

7. Is there any way to help a child who’s upset other than by letting him know you understand his feelings? My son has very little tolerance for any kind of frustration. Occasionally it does seem to help when I acknowledge his feelings and say something like “That must be so frustrating!” But usually when he’s in such an emotional state he doesn’t even hear me.

【段落大意】

除了让一个沮丧的孩子知道我理解他的不开心之外还有什么其他更好的办法吗?我的儿子对任何沮丧都无法忍受。个别情况下当我表示我理解他的感受,我说:“这一定很让人难受”,似乎会有一点作用。但大多数时候他处在那样的情绪里完全听不进去我的话。

【单词/词组/句型】

① tolerance

1) [U] willingness to allow people to do, say, or believe what they want without criticizing or punishing themOPP intolerance → toleratetolerance of/towards/fortolerance towards religious minorities

2) [C,U] the degree to which someone can suffer pain, difficulty etc without being harmed or damaged →toleratetolerance toMany old people have a very limited tolerance to cold.

② 直接背下来: Is there any way to help a child who’s upset other than by letting him know you understand his feelings?

XXX other than XXX

Parents in our groups have found that when their children are extremely upset, sometimes a physical activity can help relieve some of the painful feelings. We’ve heard many stories about angry children who have felt calmer after punching pillows, hammering old grocery cartons, pounding and kneading clay, roaring like a lion, throwing darts. But the one activity that seems most comfortable for parents to watch, and most satisfying for children to do, is to draw their feelings. The two examples that follow happened within a week of each other:

【段落大意】

我们的家长群发现当孩子处于一个特别生气/沮丧/难过的情绪里时,有时体育运动能够有效地缓解他的坏情绪。我们听说了很多类似的例子,比如打枕头、锤旧纸箱、捏黏土、像狮子一样大吼、玩儿飞镖,都能让孩子们感到情绪平静了一些。但有一种方式能够更好的抚慰孩子也是家长最喜闻乐见的就是孩子们用画画画出自己的情绪。下面就是发生在同一星期的两件事。

【单词/词组/句型】

①  knead /nid/ 揉,捏面团或其他食物;揉捏;按摩;推拿

② dart /dɑrt/ 飞镖

I had just come back from a workshop session and found my three-year-old son lying on the floor having a tantrum. My husband was just standing there looking disgusted. He said, “Okay, child specialist, let’s see if you can handle this one.” I felt I had to rise to the occasion. I looked down at Joshua, who was still kicking and screaming, and grabbed a pencil and the pad near the phone. Then I knelt down, handed the pencil and pad to Joshua, and said, “Here, show me how angry you are. Draw me a picture of the way you feel.”

【段落大意】

当时我刚参加完家长群的一个工作坊环节回到家中,就发现我3岁的儿子躺在地上大发脾气。我老公站在旁边一脸厌恶。他对我说:“好吧,每个孩子都不一样,你看你能搞定他吗?”我心想这次我一定要成功。我低头看了看还躺在地上边踢边尖叫的Joshua,然后拿起一支铅笔和电话旁的一个便签本蹲在了Joshua身边递给了他铅笔和便签本,“告诉我你有多生气,把你的感受画出来。”

【单词/词组/句型】

① tantrum

/ˈtæntrəm/ noun [C]a sudden short period when someone, especially a child, behaves very angrily and unreasonablyhave/throw a tantrumShe throws a tantrum when she can’t have the toy she wants.children’s temper tantrums

② rise to the occasion/challenge to deal successfully with a difficult situation or problem, especially by working harder or performing better than usuala young athlete who can certainly rise to the occasionThe team rose to the challenge.

Joshua jumped up immediately and began to draw angry circles. Then he showed it to me and said, “This is how angry I am!”

I said, “You really are angry!” and tore another piece of paper from the pad. “Show me more,” I said.

He scribbled furiously on the page, and again I said, “Boy, that angry!” We went through the whole thing one more time. When I handed him a fourth piece of paper, he was definitely calmer. He looked at it a long time. Then he said, “Now I show my happy feelings,” and he drew a circle with two eyes and a smiling mouth. It was unbelievable. In two minutes he had gone from being hysterical to smiling—just because I let him show me how he felt. Afterward my husband said, “Keep going to that group.”

【段落大意】

听了我的话,Joshua立刻蹦了起来开始在纸上画圆圈,愤怒的圆圈,然后拿给了我:“你看,我有多生气!”,我回答:“你确实很生气。”然后我又撕了一张纸下来递给他,“你再画一张,接着把你的愤怒画出来。”他生气地开始涂鸦。然后我接着跟他说再来画一张,就这样直到画到第四张,他已经明显平静下来了。他盯着纸看了一会儿然后说我现在要画画我的开心了。然后他画了一个笑脸。这简直令人难以置信。仅仅两分钟的时间,只是因为我让他把他的情绪展示出来,他就从愤怒转变成开心。在这之后我老公跟我说:我支持你继续参加那个家长群的活动!

【单词/词组/句型】

① scribble: 涂鸦

② furious

1) very angryfurious at/aboutResidents in the area are furious at the decision.furious withShe was furious with herself for letting things get out of hand.furious thatHer family are furious that her name has been published by the press.She was absolutely furious.

2) [usually before noun] done with a lot of energy, effort, or speedNeil set off at a furious pace.furious debate/argument etcThere was a furious row over the proposals.The action is fast and furious.

3. hysterical

1) unable to control your behaviour or emotions because you are very upset, afraid, excited etcJanet became hysterical and began screaming.Everyone in the studio burst into hysterical laughter.

2) (informal) extremely funny SYN hilariousIt was absolutely hysterical! I’ve never laughed so much.

At the next session of our group, another mother told us about her experience using the same skill.

When I heard about Joshua last week, my first thought was “How I wish I could use that approach with Todd.” Todd is also three, but he has cerebral palsy. Everything that comes naturally to other kids was monumental for him—standing without falling, keeping his head erect. He’s made remarkable progress, but he’s still so easily frustrated. Anytime he tries to do something and can’t, he screams for hours on end. There is no way in the world I can get through to him. The worst part is that he kicks me and tries to bite me. I guess he thinks that somehow his difficulties are all my fault, and that I should be able to do something about it. He’s angry at me most of the time.

【段落大意】

在家长群的后来的一次活动上,一个妈妈分享了用同样办法抚慰孩子的另一个例子。

“当我在家长群的活动上听到了Joshua的例子,我当时就在想我要是也能把这个办法用在我儿子Todd身上该有多好。Todd也是3岁,但是他患有大脑性麻痹,很多在别的孩子身上看上去再自然不过的事情,比如站立不会摔倒、直起脖子之类的,对于他来说做到都是里程碑式的事件。他已经有了很大的进步,但他依然非常容易就感到沮丧。只要当他想做什么什么但做不到时,他就会尖叫,尖叫很长时间。我们根本没有任何办法。更糟的是他还踢人并想咬人。我猜想他可能觉得他现在碰到的难题都是我的错,我应该对此做点儿什么。我非常生我的气。”

【单词/词组/句型】

① cerebral palsy 大脑性麻痹

② monumental 纪念碑的

3. get through to

6) reach a person/place to reach a place or person that is difficult to reach: [get through to] Aid agencies have been unable to get through to the thousands of refugees stranded on the border.

4. on end

5. somehow

On the way home from last week’s workshop I thought, “What if I catch Todd before he goes into his full tantrum?” That afternoon he was playing with his new puzzle. It was a very simple one, with just a few big pieces. Anyway, he couldn’t get the last piece to fit, and after a few tries he began to get that look on his face. I thought, “Oh no, here we go again!” I ran over to him and shouted, “Hold it! . . . Hold everything! . . . Don’t move! . . . I’ve gotta get something!” He looked startled. I frantically searched in his bookshelves and found a big purple crayon and a sheet of drawing paper. I sat down on the floor with him and said, “Todd, is this how angry you feel?” And then I drew sharp zigzag lines up and down, up and down.

【段落大意】

上次家长群的活动之后我就在想,如果下次我在Todd开始发怒之前抓住他不知会怎么样。那天下午他正在玩儿拼图。这个拼图很简单,只有几块大块儿的。但他还是无法拼对,当他试了几次都无法把最后一块拼上时,他脸上逐渐显露每次发怒时的神情。我想,坏了,又来了。我跑向他并且大喊“坚持一下,坚持一下,我有事情要让你做。”他很吃惊。我慌忙从书架上找到了一个紫色的蜡笔和一沓纸,然后坐在了地板上坐在他身边,“Todd, 这就是表示你感到的生气是不是?”然后我在纸上画下来一些很尖锐的z型线条。

【单词/词组/句型】

①frantically


“Yeah,” he said, and yanked the crayon out of my hand and made wild slashing lines. Then he stabbed the paper over and over again until it was full of holes. I held the paper up to the light and said, “You are so mad . . . You are absolutely furious!” He grabbed the paper away from me and, crying all the while, tore it again and again until it was nothing more than a pile of shreds. When he was all finished, he looked up at me and said, “I love you, Mommy.” It was the first time he’d ever said that.

【段落大意】

"是的,"他猛地把蜡笔从我手中抽走,开始疯狂地在纸上画各种线条。然后他开始用蜡笔戳纸,直到纸上布满了洞。我把满是洞的纸拿起来举到灯光下,"你真的非常生气,你简直气炸了"。他从我手里抢过那张纸开始撕扯,直到画纸变成了碎片。终于他停了下来,抬头看了我一眼说"我爱你妈妈"。这甚至是头一次他对我说我爱你。

【单词/词组/句型】

① yank

②stab

I’ve tried it again since and it doesn’t work all the time. I guess I have to find some other physical outlet for him, like a punching bag or something. But I’m beginning to realize that what’s most important is that, while he’s punching or pounding or drawing, I be there—watching him, letting him know that even his angriest feelings are understood and accepted.

【段落大意】

在那之后我又试过一次这个方法,不过看来它不是每一次都管用。我猜我可能得找到其他的让他发泄的方式,比如拳击沙袋或者别的什么东西。但是我也开始意识到,不管他是用摔东西还是画画来发泄情绪,我们站在旁边看着他的人都要让他知道他的愤怒是能被理解和接受的。

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