在今天的分享中，我们来聊一聊Apology-道歉。
我观察到关于道歉，在职场当中一般有两派：
Never apologizer-从不道歉派
他们认为，道歉是弱者的表现，道歉就意味着做错了，要承担责任。
Over apologizer过度道歉派
Sorry，I apologize 是他们的口头禅，他们觉得道歉是一种礼貌的表现。
就像圣经里面说的一样：
A soft answer turneth away wrath.
婉言可以息怒
对于从不道歉派，我想说的是向别人say sorry 并不意味着问题就一定是你的责任。相反，给对方传递的情感还可以是 I care about you and our relationship.
请大家来看看下面两句话：
I am sorry that the new date for the product launch has affected your vacation plans.
很抱歉，产品新的发布期影响了你的休假。
I am sorry that the construction will require you to park so far from the plant.
很抱歉，因为施工问题要让你把车停得那么远。
在这两句话中提到的问题, the new date for the product launch和第二句中的the construction 都不是我们的问题，我们并不需要为他们承担责任，但是这两句话却向对方表达出了你对他的关心。
在工作中，有时候因为一些不可控制的因素，常常不能达成别人的请求。比如，明明提早出发去参加一个重要的会议，但是因为高架上堵车还是迟到了半个小时。这个时候，没有什么比一封真诚的道歉信更能巩固你的职场关系了。那么什么才是真诚的道歉信呢？
熬夜睡过了头，结果第二天会议迟到了，tell the truth;
因为时间没安排好，结果报告没有准时交付, tell the truth;
忘记了时间，没有参加团队视频会议,tell the truth;、
Truth, only truth, nothing but the truth;
因为如果你忙着找借口的话，trust me, people can smell that you are lying from a mile away!
接下来，我们来看一下下面的两封道歉信，你觉得哪一封是真诚的道歉，哪一封是不真诚的呢？
第一封：
Dear Kim,
I am sorry I missed your presentation this morning. I know it was my job to be there to provide the latest financial data, andI am very sorry that I let you down.
As I mentioned in my phone message, there was a severe accident on the flyover this morning. I was only moving a kilometer for an hour! Although I left for work in plenty of time for your presentation, the accident caused me to arrive late.
I emailed our latest financial data to you when I arrived and also,I created another pivot table （透视表）with data of past years for your better presenting to the customer in case they need the data by categories.If you would like me to do anything else to make up for my absence, please let me know.
Please accept my sincere apology.
Renee
第二封：
Hi Alex,
I am really sorry about missing the skype call this afternoon.I was not informed what to present in the call so I think it is just a regular briefing that can work without me and I happened to be dealing with a report to customer.
I would definitely be on that call if you let me know what I need to present. Sorry again!
Tim
相信大家应该感受到了，Tim的邮件是一封不真诚的道歉信（If apology）。尽管他用了好几次I am sorry来表达他的歉意。
而相比之下，第一封邮件则显得非常真诚，因为它包含了以下几个原则：
1. Apologize sincerely and express remorse
真诚的发自内心的做出道歉，并表示悔意。
Renee 说：
I am sorry I missed your presentation this morning. I know it was my job to be there to provide the latest financial data, andI am very sorry that I let you down.
而Tim说：
I was not informed what to present in the call so I think it is just a regular briefing；I would definitely be on that call if you let me know；
这些借口和托辞削弱了 “ I am sorry” 这三个字的力量。
2. Explain what really happened
解释你为什么没有达成期望的真实原因
Renee在路上不但发了短信给对方，而且回到公司之后还发了一封邮件再次解释了迟到的原因。她说：
There is a severe accident on the flyover, I was only moving a kilometer for an hour!
而Tim只说了一句：
I happened to be dealing with a report to customer.
这听上去更像是借口。
3. Offering reparations
提供补救方案
第一封邮件中的结尾Renee一共说了三句话：
I emailed our latest financial data to you.
I created another pivot table for your better presenting.
If you would like me to do anything else to make up for my absence, please let me know.
这三句话，都让对方感受到了Renee真诚地在为问题做出补救。
相反Tim没有提供补救方案，而是在推卸责任：
I will definitely be on that call if you let me know what I need to present. 你要是告诉我要陈述什么，我一定会参加这个会议。
就像良好的写作意图是写作的基础一样，真诚也是一封道歉信的基础。
对于工作中的过度道歉，我认为也是不可取的。因为这会给人一种缺乏自信的感觉。我常常听到有人说：
I am sorry for the delay.
抱歉来晚了
I am sorry for taking up your time.
抱歉占用了你的时间
I am sorry to make you work overtime.
抱歉又要让你加班了
I am sorry for my being difficult on this idea
抱歉我对这个观点这么坚持.
虽然这种说法给人的感觉是你很礼貌。但是对方的关注点并不会在I am sorry 上面，而是会在后面的问题上。因为过于频繁的使用I am sorry, 这句话的力量就大大被削弱了。
其实我们还可以有更好的说法：
与其说:
I am sorry for the delay.
我们可以说:
Thank you for being so patient.
感谢你这么耐心
与其说:
I am sorry for taking up your time.
我们可以说:
Thank you for listening.
谢谢你花时间听我说
与其说:
I am sorry to make you work overtime.
我们可以说:
Thank you for taking care of this job.
感谢你处理这件事情
与其说:
I am sorry for being difficult on this idea.
我们可以说:
Thank you for your support
谢谢你的支持
虽然传递的意思是一样的，但是给人的感觉是不是就积极多了呢？
好，今天的分享就到这里。在第二封邮件中，如果你是Tim，你会怎么向Alex写道歉邮件呢？大家可以使用我们分享的原则尝试写一封真诚的道歉信。
每天学习一点点，每天进步一点点，优秀的写作就从现在开始。
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