0327.Reading notes《The Willpower Instinct 》

Chaptrer 9

 Don’t Read This Chapter: The Limits of “I Won’t” Power

别读这章,“我不要”力量的局限性

ISN’T IT IRONIC 这难道不讽刺吗?

● WHY THOUGHT SUPPRESSION DOESN’T WORK 压抑想法为何行不通?

● IF I THINK IT,IT MUST BE TRUE 我想的都是真的

● UNDER THE MICROSCOPE: INVESTIGATING IRONIC REBOUND深入刨析:讽刺性反弹调整

● AVOIDING IRONIC REBOUND 避免讽刺性反弹

●I DONT WANT TO FEEL THIS WAY 我不想有这种感觉

●THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME 我出了问题

● WILLPOWER EXPERIMENT: FEEL WHAT YOU FEEL, BUT DON’T BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU THINK  意志力实验:忠于你的感受,但别相信你所有的想法

● A DAUGHTER MAKES PEACE WITH HER ANGER 不再愤怒的女儿

►► words and phrases

(1)ban [bæn]

vt. 禁止,取缔

n. 禁令,禁忌

a complete/total ban 彻底禁止

a blanket ban 全面禁止

ban sb from doing sth 禁止某人做某事

原句:But as we'll see, the problem with prohibition extends to any thought we try to ban. 但正如我们所见,越是不让我们想一件事,我们就会越去想它。

仿写:Smoking is banned  in public places.

(2)ironic  [aɪ'rɒnɪk]

adj. 讽刺的;反话的

原句:Wegner dubbed (授予...称号)this effect ironic rebound. You push a thought away, and-BAM!—it boomerangs back. 韦格纳把这个效应称为“讽刺性反弹”.当人们试图摆脱某种想法的时候,它却像回飞镖一样“嗖”的飞回来.

仿写:It’s ironic that the behaviour of the writer is opposite to his opinion.

(3)frequent ['friːkw(ə)nt] 

adj. 频繁的;时常发生的;惯常的

vt. 常到,常去;时常出入于

原句:When a thought becomes more frequent and harder to pull yourself away from, you will naturally assume that it is an urgent message that you should pay attention to.当一个想法频繁出现,难以摆脱时,人们会很自然的地认为它是需要关注的重要信息。

仿写:There are frequent contacts between the two sisters.

(4)opposite  [ˈɑpəzɪt; ˈɑpəsɪt]

adj. 相反的;对面的;对立的

n. 对立面;反义词

prep. 在…的对面

adv. 在对面

opposite direction 相反方向;敌对方向

opposite sex  异性

just the opposite  正好相反,恰巧相反

原句:The opposite of thought suppression is accepting the presence of the thought—not believing it. 不要压抑想法,接受它的存在,但不要相信它。

仿写:The twins' character is just the opposite.

(5)tension ['tenʃ(ə)n]

n. 张力,拉力;紧张,不安;电压

vt. 使紧张;使拉紧

原句:Notice if there is any tension present, or changes to your heart rate or breathing.看看你是否会感觉紧张,心率或者呼吸是否有变化。

仿写:We should learn to relieve tension and relax ourselves in this fast-paced society.

►►Sentence

(1)Ironic rebound explains many modern frustrations: the insomniac who finds herself more wide-awake the harder she tries to fall asleep; the dieter who banishes carbohydrates, only to find himself dreaming about Wonder bread and whoopie pies: the worrier who tries to block out her anxiety but gets drawn again and again into disaster fantasies.

“讽刺性反弹”可以解释现代人的很多失败事例:失眠患者越想入睡,就发现自己越清醒;减肥的人拒绝碳水化合物,却梦到了面包和坚果曲奇;忧心忡忡的人试图摆脱焦虑,却一次又一次陷入对灾难的幻想。

(2)Trying not to think about something guarantees that it is never far from your mind. This leads to a second problem: When you try to push a thought away, and it keeps coming back to your mind, you are more likely to assume that it must be true.

试图不去想某件事,它就会一直萦绕在你脑海中。这就导致了第二个问题:当人们试图摆脱一种想法,它却不断回到脑海中时,人们很可能认为它一定是真的。

(3)This cognitive bias seems to be hardwired in the human brain.Whatever fear or desire you try to push away will become more convincing and compelling.This doesn’t mean the thought is true or important.The worrier becomes more worried,and the ice-cream craver pulls out her spoon.

这种认知的偏见似乎已经在人类的大脑里面根深蒂固了。无论你想摆脱哪种恐惧,它们最后都会变得更让人信服,更引人注目。这并不意味着这个想法是真实的,也不意味着这个想法很重要。担忧的人会变得更加担忧,渴望冰激凌的人就更可能会去吃冰激凌。

(4)As we consider the evidence for each, we'll see that giving up control of our inner experiences gives us greater control over our outer actions.Studies show that the more you try to suppress negative thoughts, the more likely you are to become depressed.If we want to save ourselves from mental suffering, we need to make peace with those thoughts, not push them away.

(5)通过这些证据可以看到,放弃控制内心感受,反而能让我们更好的控制外在行为。研究显示,越是压抑消极情绪,人越可能变得抑郁。如果想让自己远离精神痛苦,人们就需要与这些想法和平共处,而不是把他们推到一边。

(6)Oftentimes, our most disturbing thoughts are familiar—the same worry, the same self-criticism, the same memory.

通常情况下,最让人心烦的事都很相似——同样的担忧,同样的自我批评,同样的往事记忆。

——  启  发 1——

走出“知其然,不知其所以然”囧局

读完今天前半章,脑子中反复闪过一句话:“知其然,不知其所以然”,这是很多人都会进入的一种囧局。比如我们引用名言警句作为自己的座右铭,却根本不知道这句话出自哪里,是什么时候哪位作者写自于什么环境下;王宝强、林丹出轨事情惹得众多网友群怒群攻,我们却不得知道他们家庭的任何真实情况;罗尔事件在引发了大量善意支持后立马迎接了几乎是同一拨人的居高临下的道德宣战,到最终我们也不知道真实的罗尔发生的那些真实事.....这都是“知其然,不知其所以然”的案例,“知其然,不知其所以然”也是很多偏见形成的根源。为什么提到这句话,在看本章之前,我想本章的“我不要”带来的讽刺性反弹众多案例,我们自己很多其实都经历过,我们尝试过“越想入睡,就发现自己越清醒”的状况,我们感受过“越想压抑情绪,却越加焦虑”的状态,我们体验过“不要再回忆起某些记忆,记忆却越加清晰”,也很早就听过“在接下来的几分钟,请不要去想*** ”这个案例....我们似乎知道很多,听过很多,但是却真的不知道它背后蕴含的科学依据和大脑原理,也很少去主动探索现象后面的本质。就像看了一棵大树的枝繁叶茂,却没看到它的根茎在泥土中的扩展;就像我们看完一本书,却不知道作者是谁,书籍的创作动机及背景;就像我们看完了一个大牛的访谈实录记录了很多知识点,却不知道大牛在一问一答间的思考方法和路径.......

想起了一句话:“你只是看起来很勤奋而已!”,如果搞不懂每一件事情背后最关键的支撑原理,那以后遇到同样的事情永远不会触类旁通,更不用说殊途同归了....所以要努力跳出“知其然,不知其所以然”这一口空井。就像在本章作者提到的改善方法,其实从我们知道这行为背后的运作原理时,就已经开始获得自我管理的主动权了。通过读这本书,更加激发了我学习多学科的兴趣,生活经济学,大众心理学,地理天体学、生物学、人体生理学....这些常识学科,都是万千书本、万千理论之基石。最近在学量子学、金融学和生活经济学类的,就是很想学一些常识性的知识,大脑越来越多常识线路,各学科交汇的时候,眼中看到的一切都会神光异彩。虽然,在很多学科领域,我还属于白脑儿,但我将兴趣前行,因为好玩有趣,还有价值!

尝试着,不再“知其然,不知其所以然”,寻找现象背后的本质及真理,然后,更好的生活。

——  启  发 2——

想自己所想,追随自己的感觉(The willingness to think what you think and feel what you feel)

看到这句话的时候很兴奋呢,因为我们习惯性的说:遇到事情的时候,跟着感觉走....以前总觉得这个跟着感觉走,好像特别感性。但是通过今天的阅读,发现这背后真的是有科学规律的。拥抱自己的积极状态,也要拥抱自己的消极状态,没有哪一个人可以在每时每刻都保持高能状态,也别要求自己变成一个完美无缺的人,所谓“完美”只存在于粉丝对偶像的盲目崇拜中,其他地方,无。我们的情绪也会像抛物线一样有最高点和最低点,接受它,拥抱它,却不排斥它,不批判它,遇到情绪低谷,静静感受,和他们和平相处。

想一想,越来越平静快乐的自己,却是那个好似越来越不完美的自己!

不过,是什么样子,成为什么样子,终究只能自己给答案。

►►Summary

The brain is amazing! It is necessary  to know the limits of “i won’t” power.When you control your anxiety,  you become more anxious ;when you try to forget something,memory become more clearly...Whatever fear or desire you try to push away will become more convincing and compelling.It seems too bad, isn't it?

My dear, don't worry about it.There is lots of methods to improve the limits.We should know the fact that if we don't fight the anxiety, it will naturally run its course.When an upsetting thought comes to mind ,Instead of instantly trying to distract yourself from it, let yourself notice the thought.The willingness to think what you think and feel what you feel No matter what you face difficulties.

It is an important lesson that we should  learn to relieve tension and relax ourselves.

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