文/阎成席
家庭教育就是爱的教育
---- 一件美丽的花裙子
Family Education is actually Education of Love
-- A beautiful dress hidden somewhere
2011年4月1日，留日学生汪某在上海浦东机场因学费问题和母亲发生争执，并拔刀刺伤母亲。事件发生后，很多人都在疑惑，这个23岁的男孩究竟为了什么会伤害自己的亲人。
On April 1, 2011, a student studying in Japan surnamed “Wang” had a quarrel with his mom for tuition fees at Shanghai Pudong Airport and stabbed and wounded his mom. After the event, many people have doubts as to why a 23-year-old guy should stab his mother.
从药家鑫事件到留美博士生卢刚杀人案以及近期留日学生刺母事件，这些屡屡发生的极端恶性事件背后，都能找到一个共有的因素：家庭教育片面强调知识与分数而割裂了其他情感。
There appears a string of similar events from Yao Jiaxin to Lu Gang, a Ph.D in the US, involved with a murder case, to this student studying in Japan who stabbed his mother, from which we can nose out a common factor: The family education lays the one-sided emphasis on knowledge and scores but emotionally separates the parents from their children.
父母过度关注知识和分数，把其他的情感都割裂了，孩子变成了分数机器，这时危险就快发生了。
Parents are excessively concerned about the knowledge and scores to be mastered by their child but they are emotionally isolated from their child so that the child is turned into a scoring machine. But now danger is imminent (即将到来的).
表面上看，他们学习成绩好，掌握很多技能，但他变成了一个没有感情，冷漠的人，他的目标仅仅就是超过别人。
On the surface (表面上), they may have better grades with a good command of many a skill. However, he is turned into a person who shows no emotion or personality just like a cold fish. His goal is only to get the upper hand over anyone else.
实际上，家庭教育无疑会对一个孩子的身心成长产生重大的影响，同时也会塑造或形成孩子的道德观和人生态度，所以每个家庭要高度关注这个问题，重视自己孩子的道德和身体的发展和成长。
In essence, there is no doubt that family education greatly affects the physical and mental growth of a child and nurtures or reshapes his or her moral outlook and life attitude, so each family should be highly concerned about this problem and tries hard to pay more attention to their children’s moral and physical growth.
甚至圣经就这么说：“孩子不打不成器”，这和中国的老话同出一辙：“玉不琢，不成器”。
Even the Good Book says, “Spare the rod and spoil the child”, which is quite similar to the Chinese saying that “Gems unwrought can do nothing useful”.
所以中国人从古至今都习惯这种管教方式：下属不听话，就动武（粗）。倒是很有几分“顺我者昌，逆我者亡“的意味。
So Chinese people are used to this way of disciplining or ruling from ancient times: to rule the inferiors with a rod of iron or by resorting to forces, which takes on overtones of "Those who submit will prosper, those who resist shall perish."
实际上，这种观点全无道理。**每个孩子理应受到管束，但不能有失体面和道德规范，更不应在孩子的成长过程中因家长严酷的管束使得孩子身心受害，扭曲变形。
Actually, this point of view is beyond all reason(毫无道理). It stands to reason that each child should be decently and morally disciplined but should not be cruelly tamed out of shape physically or mentally in his or her growth.
家庭教育虽无定式，但应该更加开放，不可墨守成规。
**Family education is to be more open and flexible without staying in a rut or following a stereotyped pattern in spite of no regular rules. **
然而，家长应和称职的教育专家多多讨教家教的学问，从中汲取教训并悟出其中的道理，学会教导和训导自己的孩子。
However, parents should communicate with competent educators and experts to draw on valuable experience and efficiently know the ropes as to how to educate and discipline their kids back at home.
或者，我们可以这么说：孩子是花朵，需要细心的哺育、照料、开导，甚至来点驯化，让孩子从中得到有益的启发。
Or we may put it this way: a child is a flower that needs meticulous nursing, polishing, trimming, or even the instructively enlightening taming.
不言而喻，家庭教育对我们每个人都会产生重大的影响。
It goes without saying that family education can exert the greatest influence on every one of us.
下面我们分享一则小故事，或许值得我们深思：
Here is a story which may offer us much food for thought:
邻居8岁的小女儿过去生活在乡下，习惯故乡的一切。这个孩子野蛮没有教养，一不高兴就骂人，满口脏话。遇上这种情况，父母只好给她一顿拳打脚踢，想让她学着乖巧一点，不料适得其反，小女孩脾气越来越坏，简直到了无以复加的地步。
My neighbor’s eight-year-old daughter used to stay in the countryside, her native place.Wild and uneducated, she would swear or use dirty words when she was displeased. Her parents tried to tame her by beating and kicking, only to result in more violent outbursts.
一天，隔壁邻居送给小女孩一件雪白的连衣裙，好漂亮耶！小女孩穿上裙子，完全变了个摸样儿。她再也不说脏话，也不和别的孩子干架了，因为她知道，穿着这么好看的裙子再撒野，那不是折损自己的美好的形象嘛！
One day their next-door neighbor gave the girl a snow-white dress, which was very beautiful. The girl put on the dress and became quite another person. She no longer abused or hit others, she knew running wild was beneath her in such a beautiful dress.
这个小故事让我深思良久。或许每个人内心深处都珍藏着一件美丽的裙子。
The story set me thinking a lot. Perhaps everyone has a beautiful dress hidden somewhere in his or her heart.
爱就像空气一样，我们每天呼吸新鲜的空气，获得源源不断的氧气，滋养我们的身心，但其无影无形而常常会被我们忽略。
Love is like air, which we breathe every day with a steady stream of oxygen to nourish our body and mind, but air is impalpable (难以触觉的) and invisible, thus often ignored by us.
爱，能感动一切。爱是多么的纯洁、透明啊！爱是多么的伟大啊！孩子的成长好坏很大程度上取决于父母的教育方法。
All people can be emotionally touched by love which is so pure and transparent. How great love is! The healthy and unhealthy grow of a child depends to a greater extent on parents’ education methods.
教育方法的不足导致了孩子的不听话、难管教。
Improper and insufficient education methods render it possible for children to be disobedient and difficult to discipline.
因此为了孩子的健康成长，父母更应该找寻一个适合自己孩子的教育方法！让孩子真正地成龙、成凤！让我们一起努力，让人世间处处充满爱，让我们和我们的孩子的生活变得更加美好。
It follows that (由此断定；由此得出结论) parents are supposed to seek and identify a proper education method for the sake of the child's healthy growth! May all our children be elite talents with a brighter future! Let’s join hands to make greater efforts and make the world fully blessed with (有幸得到) love so that we and our children can have the better and better life.
【话题讨论】
1. Suppose you are a parent, what will you do in face of a wild and uneducated kid?
2. Everyone knows that it is wrong to spoil or indulge a child. However, how can we reshape our child into a well-behaved one instead of a docile or obedient poppet?
3. If you are not married and currently have no kid, would you please tell us a story about your dissatisfactory growth or your happy growth in your childhood? Or you may say something about your own way to educate your own child in the near future.
★ 作者：**Andrew**** **
资深翻译、擅长鸡汤和时事趣闻翻译、知名英语网站专栏作家。