英语学习

You must have been troubled by when to say “I love you” because it is one of the greatest puzzles in our life.
你一定曾经为何时说“我爱你”而烦恼过，因为这是我们生活中的一大难题。

What if you say it first and your partner doesn´ t love you back? Or if they do say it but you don´t feel they mean it? Being the first to declare your love can be nerve-racking(紧张) and risky and can leave you feeling as vulnerable as a turtle with no shell. But is the person who says it first really in a position of weakness? Doesn´t it pay to hold back, play it cool and wait until the other half has shown their hand first?
如果你先说“我爱你”而对方却不回应，或者对方也这么说但你觉得他或她并非当真，那该怎么办?如你先说爱一个人，会让人紧张，而且也很冒险，它会让你觉得像没了硬壳的海龟那样容易受到伤害。但先说出口的人真的是处于劣势吗?隐而不宣，冷静地等待，让对方采取主动会更好吗?

“A really good relationship should be about being fair and being equal,” says psychologist Sid-ney Crown. "But love is seldom equal. " All relationships go through power straggles but, he says,if a love imbalance continues for years, the rot will set in. "That feeling of ´ I´ ve always loved you more´ may be subverted(颠覆，破坏) for a time, but it never goes away completely and it often emerges in squabbling(大声争吵). " In love, at least, the silent, withholding type is not always the most powerful. “The strongest one in a relationship is often the person who feels confident enough to talk about their feelings,” says educational psychologist Ingrid Collins. Psychosexual therapist Paula Hall agrees. "The one with the upper hand is often the person who takes the initiative. In fact, the person who says ´ I love you´ first may also be the one who says ´ I´ m bored with you´ first. " Hall believes that much depends on how “I love you” is said and the motivation of theperson saying it.
“真正良好的两性关系应该是合理平等的”，心理学家悉德尼•克朗说，“但爱情很少是平等的。”所有的两性关系都会有权力的斗争，但是，他说，如果爱情失去平衡，那么数年之后就会开始出现问题。“‘我对你的爱更多’的情况暂时不再继续，但这种感觉却不会消失，且常常会在争吵中出现。”至少在爱情上，沉默含蓄的那种类型并不总是最强有力的。 “两性关系中最强大的一方常常是感觉自信能说出自己的感受的人。”教育心理学家因格瑞•柯林斯说。性心理治疗学家波拉-霍尔赞同说，“占上风的常常是采取主动的人。实际上。先说‘我爱你’的人往往也是先说‘我讨厌你’的人。”霍尔认为，很大程度上取决于说“我爱你”的方式和说话人的动机。

“Is it said when they´ re drunk? Is it said before their partner flies off on holiday, and what it really means is ´ Please don´ t be unfaithful to me´? By saying ´ I love you´, they really saying´ Do you love me?´ If so, wouldn´t it just be more honest to say that?” Collins agrees that intention is every-thing. "It´ s not what is said, but how it´ s said. What it comes down to is the sincerity of the speaker. "
“他们是在喝醉时说的吗?是在对方乘飞机度假前说的吗?而其真正的含义是‘请一定要对我忠诚’?是不是表面上说：‘我爱你’，而真正想说的却是‘你爱我吗?’如果这样，直截了当地说不是更诚实吗?”考林也认为你的动机决定一切。“重要的不在于说话内容而在于说话的方式。归根到底是说话人的真诚。”

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hold back
隐瞒；退缩；抑制；阻止