Reading Journal - The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck
20180121-22 Chapter 4 The Value of Suffering
-Q & A-
1. Use three sentences to describe Onoda’s story.
001 It’s his loyalty to his country that enabled him to endure the miserable suffering in the jungle.
002 It’s because of our different values from his that what he did might seems rediculous and meaningless to us.
003 But his value, which once glorified his life, also brought him suffering after returning to his motherland.
2. What can we learn from the Rock Star Problems?
Our values determine the metrics by which we measure ourselves and our lives. With bad values, we easily label ourselves as failures when life doesn’t go as we expected.
3. Can you name some values that you hold dear?
001 Pleasure. I used to think pleasure is what I should persue, but now I realize the fact that it’s just one of the side effects of true happiness. And it’s rather uncontrollable and perishable so that perusing it is kind of meaningless.
002 Staying positive always makes me feel happy and superior to others so that sometimes I push myself so hard to look at the sunny side of life, which means avoid negative feelings.
4. Do you have any good/bad values stated in the book? How those values affect your life?
001 Honesty.
002 Vulnerability. ( I’m not sure if “vulnerability” in this book means to show your vulnerability to others.)
003 Honesty brings me inner pride and showing vulnerability enable others be willing to help me so that I won’t feel loneny when I’m in blue.
-Take-away Message-
001 对待情绪，我们要首先识别出自己的情绪是什么，继而找出导致这种情绪的直接原因，最重要的是，分析根本原因（通常是我们的values和metrics）。这个原因可能是某个我们平时不愿意承认的现实，但只有认清现实，才有可能改变我们的情绪反应。要知道，情绪本身，无论正面与否，都只是我们的价值观和判断标准的外在表现。想起一句话，“除了我们身体上的痛苦是真正的痛苦，其他的都是我们的价值观带给我们的。”
002 作者这种对待情绪的态度，和《非暴力沟通》中所强调的一样，要先识别情绪才能解决。但两位作者都同时提到，很多人其实无法精准地识别自己的情绪，也就很难分析出我们有这种情绪反应的真实原因。对此，《非暴力沟通》一书的作者为我们罗列了以下表示情绪的词汇（在火车上条件有限，用手机截的图，回去之后再找机会整理成文字）：
-Words & Expressions-
001 hit
原句:“But by the time the bus hit L.A., the guitarist had gotten over his self-pity and had vowed to start a new band.”
释义：to arrive at a place 【非正式】 到达〔某地〕
造句：I will contact you as soon as I hit town.
002 bug （熟词生义）（informal）
原句:“Take a moment and think of something that’s really bugging you.”
释义：v. to annoy someone 打扰；激怒；使厌烦
造句：That what I hold dear all the time turned out to be ridiculous really bugs me.
003 out of whack
原句:“If what we value is unhelpful, if what we consider success/failure is poorly chosen, then everything based upon those values—the thoughts, the emotions, the day-to-day feelings—will all be out of whack.”
释义：If a system, machine etc is out of whack, the parts are not working together correctly.
004 showpiece
原句:“Onoda tried to use his sudden celebrity to espouse the values of Old Japan, but he was tone-deaf to this new society. He was seen more as a showpiece than as a serious cultural thinker—a Japanese man who had emerged from a time capsule for all to marvel at, like a relic in a museum.”
释义：something that an organization, government etc wants people to see, because it is a very good or successful example 成功的典范，样板
造句：Trying to be showpiece is sometimes rather exasperating.
005 espouse (formal)
原句:“Onoda tried to use his sudden celebrity to espouse the values of Old Japan, but he was tone-deaf to this new society. He was seen more as a showpiece than as a serious cultural thinker—a Japanese man who had emerged from a time capsule for all to marvel at, like a relic in a museum.”
释义：to support an idea, belief etc, especially a political one 支持，拥护〔某观点﹑信仰等，尤指政治主张〕
造句：It necessary to espouse these values if you want to join our party.