《爱情笔记》Essays in love - 3

3

The Subtext of Seduction

诱惑的潜台词

1. For those in love with certainty, seduction is no territory in which to stray. Every smile and word lead to a dozen if not twelve thousand possibilities. Remarks that in normal life (that is, life without love) can be taken at face value now exhaust dictionaries with their possible meanings. And for the seducer, the doubts reduce themselves to a central question, faced with the trepidation of a criminal awaiting sentence: Does s/he, or does s/he not, desire me? 对于坠入情网的人们而言,恋人的任何言行举止似乎都有了潜台词。每一点微笑的意蕴、每一个词语的含义都如一条小路,通向即使没有一万二千个,至少也有十二个。日常生活中(即没有爱情的生活)可以按其表面意义理解的姿势和话语,现在却要穷尽词典可能有的所有释义。至少对倾慕者而言,所有的疑虑都归结到一个中心问题,如同罪人惊惶地等待判决一般:她/他喜欢我吗?

2. The thought of Chloe did not stop haunting me in the days that followed our encounter. Though under pressure to complete plans for an office building near King's Cross, my mind drifted irresponsibly but irresistibly back to her. I felt the need to circle around the object of my adoration, she kept breaking into consciousness with the urgency of a matter that had to be addressed, though my thoughts had no point to them, they were (objectively speaking) utterly devoid of interest. Some of these Chloe-dreams ran like this, 'Oh, how sweet she is, how nice it would be to...'随后的日子里,我对克洛艾的思念总是萦绕心头,无法抑止。这是莫名的思念,惟一能够理解的解释就在于所思念之人本身(从而回应了蒙田对于他和拉博埃西的友谊所作的阐述;因为她是她,我是我)。尽管国王十字路口附近的办公室工程设计工作压力很大,然而思绪还是任性地、不可抗拒地漂移到她那里。我得把这仰慕的对象予以限制。尽管思念不是我工作日程的一部分,(客观地说)没有任何乐趣,缺少发展变化,没有意义,只是纯粹的渴望,但她总是侵入我的意识之中,干扰我办理要紧事务。这些以克洛艾为内容的思绪就是:啊,她多么好;如果能……该多好啊。

Others were more visual:

(i) Chloe framed by the aircraft window

(ii) Her watery green eyes

(iii) Her teeth biting briefly into her lower lip

(iv) The tilt of her neck when yawning

(v) The gap between her two front teeth

其他则是一些定格的意象:

[1] 克洛艾靠在机窗边的身姿

[2] 她水灵的绿色眼眸

[3] 她轻啮下唇的牙齿

[4] 她说“那很奇怪”时的口音

[5] 她打哈欠时脖颈的偏斜

[6] 她两个门齿之间的缝隙

[7] 她握手的姿态

3. If only I had summoned such diligence for her phone number, for the digits had altogether evaporated from my memory (a memory that felt its time better spent replaying images of Chloe's lower lip). Was it 她的电话号码的数字组合已经不幸被我忘得一干二净(记忆更愿意重复克洛艾的下唇),如果当时意识能够专注于它们该多好啊。号码是

(071)

607 9187

609 7187

601 7987

690 7187

610 7987

670 9817

687 7187 ?

中的哪一个呢?

4. The search began badly 607 9187 was not the beloved's abode but a funeral parlour off Upper Street, though the establishment didn't reveal itself to be one until the end of a trying conversation, in the course of which I learnt that After Life also had an employee called Chloe, who was summoned to the phone and spent agonizing minutes trying to place my name (eventually identifying me as a customer who had made inquiries into urns) before the confusion of names was cleared up and I hung up, red-faced, drenched with sweat, nearer death than life.第一个电话没有回应我的欲望,反而传达了痴情的风险。6097187打到的不是心上人的住所,而是离北街不远的一个殡仪馆——起初并不知道,直至一场乱七八糟的交谈之后,我才弄清那儿也有一个职员叫克洛艾。她被叫来接听电话,花了好几分钟试图把我的名字对号入座(最终还是把我当作曾咨询过丧葬事宜的顾客)。我挂上了电话,面色潮红,衣衫湿透,简直半死不活了。

5.When I finally reached my Chloe at work the following day, she too seemed to have relegated me to the next world. 'Things are crazy around here now. Can you hold for a minute?' she asked secretarially.

I held, offended. Whatever intimacy I had imagined, back in office space, we were strangers.

'Listen, I'm sorry,' she said, coming back on the line, 'I can't talk now, we're rushing to get a supplement off to press tomorrow. Can I call you back? I'll try to reach you either at home or in the office when things calm down.'第二天,当我终于拨对了克洛艾的电话时,正在上班的她似乎也将我忘到了九霄云外(把我忘到哪儿去了?我无法想象)。

“我这里情况糟透了,请你等一下好吗?”她用秘书小姐的口吻对我说。

我拿着听筒,心里很不是滋味。纵使我曾幻想我们之间如何亲密,然而回到现实空间,我们只是陌生人。

我的渴望粗鲁地越出了范围,侵入克洛艾的工作时间,它并不受欢迎。

“喂,对不起,”她回到电话那头,说道,“我现在确实没时间。我们正在准备一期增刊,明天要出版。我到时候给你回电话好吗?等事情消停下来,我会尽量在家或办公室里给你打电话,好吗?”

6.The telephone becomes an instrument of torture in the demonic hands of a beloved who doesn't ring. 心上人不给我打电话,电话成了她魔手中的一件刑具。

故事的发生与否为打电话的人所操纵,接听者失去了叙说的主动性,只能在电话打来时跟随、回应。电话将我置于被动的角色。从电话交流的传统性别习惯来看,我像是等待电话的女性,克洛艾则成了拨打电话的男性。这迫使我时刻准备接听她的电话,因此我的行动被赋予了难以忍受的目的论色彩。电话机的塑料外壳、易用的拨号键、色彩的设计,所有这些都显示不出隐藏在它的神秘之下的残酷,也缺少它将于何时获得生命(我也如此)的线索。

我宁愿自己选择了书信传情。

When Chloe called a few days later, I had rehearsed my speech too often to deliver it correctly. I was caught unprepared, hanging socks on a rail. I ran to the bedroom to pick up. My voice carried with it a tension and an anger that I might more skilfully have erased from a page. Authorship becomes tempting to those who can't speak.当她一周后打来电话时,我已经把要说的话排练了太多次,以至一时语塞。我毫无准备,光着身子从浴室走出来,用棉球擦着耳孔,同时还留心着浴室里的流水。我跑到卧室里的电话旁。除非烂熟于胸而且已经演练过,否则我的言语永远如同初稿一般。我的话音夹杂了一点紧张,一点兴奋,还有一点愠怒。如果换作写信,我也许可以熟练地把这一切给消除掉。但是电话没有文字处理程序,说话者只有一次机会。

'What a surprise to hear from you,' I said unconvincingly. 'We must have lunch some time.'“很高兴你打来电话,”我笨笨地说,“一起吃顿午饭或晚餐吧,或做点别的什么你感兴趣的。”在说第二个“或”的时候,我的声音都哑了。这语句本可以如演讲一般无懈可击,创作者(那些人无法将要说的话付诸笔端)本可以周密详实,语法精确。然而现在创作者没了,只剩下一个结结巴巴的说话人,错漏百出、词汇贫乏、嗓音嘶哑。

'Lunch. Goodness. I really can't this week.'

'Well, how about dinner?'

'I'm just looking at my diary, and you're not going to believe this, but that's looking difficult too.'

'No problem,' I said, in a tone that strongly implied its opposite.

'I tell you what, though, can you take this afternoon off by any chance? We could meet at my office and go to the National Gallery or something.'

“这个星期我真的没空和你一起吃午饭。”

“噢,晚餐怎么样?”

“晚餐?让我瞧瞧,嗯,哦(停顿),我正在这儿看我的日程簿,你看,好像也没空。”

“你简直比首相还要忙。”

“对不起,事情烦透了。要不这样吧,下午你有空吗?就今天下午,我们可以在我的办公室会面,然后到国家美术馆逛一逛,或随便你,去公园或别的什么地方。”

7. The questions did not let up. What did Chloe think as we made our way to Trafalgar Square from her office in Bedford Street? On the one hand, she had been happy to take the afternoon off to tour a museum with a man she'd only briefly met on an aeroplane over a week before. But on the other hand, there was nothing in her behaviour to suggest that this was anything but an opportunity for a friendly discussion. Suspended between innocence and collusion, Chloe's every gesture became imbued with maddening significance. Was I correct to detect traces of flirtation at the ends of her sentences and the corners of her smiles, or was this merely my own desire projected onto the face of innocence? .我被克洛艾吸引了。在这吸引中,自始至终都有令我迷惑不解的问题,她的每句话和每个动作中不可言说的潜台词都让我耗尽心神。当我们从她在贝福德大街的办公室去鸽子广场时,她在想些什么?所有的迹象都是恼人的模棱两可。一方面,克洛艾非常乐意在这个下午与一位男士参观美术馆,这位男士和她只是一周前在飞机上有过一面之缘;另一方面,她的行为举止无不表明,这不过是一次关于艺术和建筑的理性探讨。也许这只是友谊,只是女人对男人的一种充满母性、无关性爱的关系。克洛艾每一个姿势的意蕴都悬浮在纯真和诱惑之间,满含令人疯狂的意义。她明了我对她的渴望吗?她渴望得到我吗?她的话尾以及笑容背后有挑逗的痕迹,我探察得准确吗?或者我只是在把自己的意愿强加给这张无辜的面容?

8. We began our visit with the early Italians, though my thoughts (I had lost all perspective, they had yet to find theirs) were not with them. Before The Virgin and Child with Saints, Chloe turned to remark that she had always had a thing about Signorelli and, because it seemed appropriate, I invented a passion for Antonello's Christ Crucified. She looked thoughtful, immersed in the canvases, oblivious to the noise and activity in the gallery. I followed a few paces behind her, trying to focus on the paintings, but able only to look at her looking.每年的这个时候,美术馆里总是人群熙攘,因此我们等待了一会儿才把外套存放在衣帽间,走上楼梯。我们从意大利早期艺术看起,尽管我的思绪(我的脑袋一片空白,我的思绪不得不自己寻找方向)并不在画上。在《处女·儿童·圣徒》前,克洛艾说她一直对西纽雷利的画很感兴趣。我便谎称自己非常喜爱安东内洛的《基督受难》,因为这样说似乎很合时宜。她若有所思地看着,沉浸在画中,全然忘却了展厅里的喧哗和人群来往。我在她身后几步远的地方跟着,努力想把精神集中到画上,但我无法领会它们的生动,只有从“克洛艾欣赏着油画”这样的情境,我才能了然它们的蕴涵。油画艺术通过克洛艾的生命,才在我眼中获得意义。

In the second and more crowded Italian room (1500-1600), we stood so close together that my hand suddenly touched hers. She didn't draw away and for a moment the feel of her skin tingled through me. We faced a painting by Bronzino, An Allegory of Venus and Cupid. Cupid kisses his mother Venus, who surreptitiously removes one of his arrows: beauty blinding love.后来在第二个意大利展室时(1500—1600),人群更拥挤了。我们一度挨得很近,我的手都触摸到她的手了。她没有退缩回去,我也没有。以至有那么一刻(我们目不转睛地看着对面的画)我感觉克洛艾的皮肤似乎裹住了我的身体。我融化在一种兴奋中,沉浸在一种激动里。然而因为未经她的许可,这兴奋并非光明磊落,这激动也只属于窥淫癖。而她直直地盯着别处——尽管她也许并非全然不知。对面是一幅布龙齐诺的《维纳斯和丘比特的寓言》,丘比特吻着他的母亲维纳斯,维纳斯偷偷地拿走他的一支箭,美掩住了爱,象征性地解除了小爱神的威力。

9.Then, brusquely, as though an error had promptly come to light, the hand moved away.

'I love those little figures in the background, the little nymphs and angry gods and stuff,' said Chloe. 'Do you understand all the symbolism?'

'Not really, besides it being Venus and Cupid.'

'I didn't even know that, so you're one up on me. I wish I'd read more about ancient mythology,' she continued. 'But actually, I like looking at things and not knowing quite what they mean.'

She turned to face the painting, her hand once more brushing against mine.

这时克洛艾移开手,转过身来说:

“我喜欢背景中的那些小人物,那些山林水泽边的小仙女、生气的众神和无名的小角色。你懂所有这些象征手法吗?”

“不太懂,只知道那是维纳斯和丘比特。”

“我甚至连那都不知道,你比我强多了。我要是多读些古代神话就好了,”她接着说,“我总是对自己说,要多读一些,却从来不抽时间去付诸行动。不过,我倒有些喜欢看那些看不懂的东西,就只单纯地看。”

她又转过脸去看画,她的手又一次拂过我的手。

10.Was the hand a symbol (subtler than Bronzino's and less well documented) of desire or the innocent, unconscious spasm of a tired arm muscle? What was I to make of the way Chloe straightened her skirt as we crossed into Early Northern Painting or coughed by van Eyck's The Marriage of Giovanni Arnolfini or handed me the catalogue in order to rest her head on her hand? 她的举动多少都在暗示点什么。这是一个空白的领域,你可以随意赋予它从欲望到单纯几乎任何一种意图。这是一个微妙的象征(比布龙齐诺的画更微妙,更少有形文本的证明)吗,允许我(有如画中的丘比特)有一天探过身去亲吻她,或并没有什么含义,不过是疲倦的手臂肌肉无意识的痉挛?

一旦开始寻找互相吸引的种种迹象,心上人的每句话、每一个行动都会被视为饱含深意。我找到的迹象越多,发现里面的含义越丰富。克洛艾身体的每一个动作,似乎都含有喜欢我的潜在证据——她拉直裙子的方式(我们穿过北欧早期绘画展室时);或她在凡·爱克的《乔瓦尼·阿诺费尼的婚礼》旁的咳嗽;或把目录递给我,用手支着头休息。当我靠近听她说话时,同样发现这里是线索的宝藏——她说她累了,让我们找张凳子休息一下,我从她的话语中解读出某种挑逗,我的解读有误吗?

我们坐了下来,克洛艾伸伸腿,黑色长袜里面的腿向下逐渐变细,线条优美,没入一双平底鞋中。我无法用合适的词汇来描绘她的姿势——如果在地铁中某个女人的腿这样拂过我的腿,我不会有任何别的想法——理解一个意思并不贴近其本质的姿势是多么困难啊,只能通过前后联系,通过解读者(我是一个多么有偏向的解读者啊)来赋予它含义。对面挂着克拉纳赫的《丘比特向维纳斯申诉》,这北方的维纳斯高深莫测地俯视着我们,不知欲偷蜜糖的丘比特正可怜兮兮地被蜜蜂叮咬。爱神的手指被蜇伤了。画中充满象征。

Desire had turned me into a relentless hunter for clues, a romantic paranoiac, reading meaning into everything. But whatever my impatience with the rituals of seduction, I was aware that the enigma lent Chloe a distinctive appeal. The most attractive are not those who allow us to kiss them at once (we soon feel ungrateful) or those who never allow us to kiss them (we soon forget them), but those who know how carefully to administer varied doses of hope and despair.

是欲望使我成为一个侦探,一个不懈的线索搜寻者。如果我少一点这情感的折磨,就不会注意那些线索;是欲望使我成为一个浪漫的偏执狂,要从一切事物中解读出意义来;是欲望将我变成一个符号解码员,一个地貌风景的释义者(因而是一个潜在的感情误置的受害人)。然而无论我怎样迫不及待,所有问题都有高深莫测的撩人魔力。这模棱两可不是灵魂的拯救,就是地狱的惩罚,需要我们守候一生,方能分清。我期待得越久,就越希望我期待的人儿尊贵高尚、非凡无比、完美无缺、值得期待。正是进展受到搁置,才增加了值得期待的内容,这是即时就得到满足的兴奋所不能给予的。如果克洛艾一下子就亮出底牌,游戏将失去魅力。无论我多么恼怒进展的搁置,我还是明白,事情需要保持不予言说的状态。最具有魅力的不是那些立刻就允许我们亲吻(我们很快会感到无趣)或永远不让我们亲吻的人儿(我们很快会忘记他们),而是那些忸怩地牵引着我们在这两极间期待的精灵。

11. Venus felt like a drink, so she and Cupid headed for the lifts. In the cafeteria, Chloe took a tray and pushed it down the steel runway.

'Do you want tea?' she asked.

'Yeah, but I'll get it.'

'Don't be silly, I'll get it.'

'Please let me do it.'

'No, no, I will.'

维纳斯想要喝点什么,所以她和丘比特向楼梯走去。在咖啡厅里,克洛艾拿了一个托盘,沿着铁围栏向前推。

“你要茶吗?”她问着我。

“要,让我来。”

“别这样,我来。”

“我请你。”

“哎呀,谢谢,八十便士不会让我破产。”

The game continued for a few more rounds, its vigour apparently accounted for by a mutual, irrational anxiety about the commitment involved in letting someone else pay for a drink. We sat at a table with a view of Trafalgar Square, the lights of the Christmas tree lending an eerily festive atmosphere to the urban scene. We began talking of art, then moved on to artists, and from artists, we went to get a second cup of tea (she won) and a cake (2?), then we digressed on to beauty, and from beauty we went to love.

我们挑了一张可以俯视鸽子广场的桌子坐下。圣诞树上的灯光给城市的景色笼罩了一层不和谐的节日气氛。我们开始谈起艺术,而后又谈到艺术家,然后要了第二杯茶和一块点心,接着又谈起美,从美又谈到爱,这时我们不再转移话题。

'I don't understand,' said Chloe, 'you do or you don't think that there's such a thing as true love?'

'I'm saying it's very subjective. You can't suppose that there's one quality called "love", people mean such different things by the word. It's tricky to distinguish between passion and love, infatuation and love?

“我不知道,”克洛艾说,“你信不信这世界存在永恒的真爱?”

“我想说的是,这是一件非常主观的事,认为世上存在一种可以客观验证的‘真爱’是很傻的。要把激情和爱情、迷恋和爱恋或不管什么事物区分开来都是很困难的,因为一切取决于你所处的立场。”

'Don't you find this cake disgusting?' interrupted Chloe. 'We should never have bought it. I mean, you shouldn't have bought it for me. God, I'm so rude.'

'I'll be expecting a written apology.'

'But seriously, if you asked most people whether they believed in love or not, they'd probably say they didn't. Yet that's not necessarily what they truly think. It's just the way they defend themselves against what they want. They believe in it, but pretend they don't until they're allowed to. Most people would throw away all their cynicism if they could. The majority just never get the chance.'

“有道理。(停顿)你不觉得这个点心很难吃吗?真不该买。”

“是你要买的。”

“我知道。回到前面你问我的问题上吧,(克洛艾用手拂弄一下头发)严格地说浪漫是不是不合时代了?我是说,如果你直截了当地问别人这个问题,多数人肯定会回答是。但这不一定是真的,人们只是把它当作抵制自己真实欲望的策略。他们对浪漫有几分信,然而却装作不相信,直到有一天他们必须得相信,或被允许相信。我想如果可能的话,大多数人都愿意完全丢掉自己的玩世不恭,很多人只是永远没有机会而已。”

12.Who were these 'most people' she talked of? Was I the man who would dispel her cynicism? We talked abstractly of love, ignoring that lying on the table was not the nature of love per se but the burning question of who we were and would be to one another.我不理会她话语的表层意义,而是探究她的话外之音。她真正的意思没有直接表达出来,我在破译,而不是在倾听。我们谈论着爱情,我的维纳斯随意地搅动着已经冷却的茶水。但这次交谈对我们两人意味着什么?她所说的那些“多数人”指的是谁?我是那个能驱散她那份玩世不恭的男人吗?这场关于爱的交谈表明两个参与者之间是什么关系?又一次,我毫无线索。彼此小心翼翼,不让话语涉及自己。我们抽象地谈论着爱情,无视有待解决的不是弄清爱自身的本质,而是更急迫的问题,即,我们于对方而言,现在(以及将来)到底是什么关系。

Or was there in fact nothing on the table other than a half-eaten carrot cake and two cups of tea? Was Chloe being as abstract as she wished, meaning precisely what she said, the diametrical opposite of the first rule of flirtation, where what is said is never what is meant?或者,这只是一个可笑的想法?除了吃去一半的胡萝卜蛋糕和两杯茶以外,桌上真的什么也没有?是不是克洛艾正像她所希望的那样抽象,表达的正是她真实的想法?这是不是与挑逗的第一法则——所言非所指——截然相反?

13.Our hesitancy was a game, but a serious and useful one, which minimized offending an unwilling partner and eased a willing one more slowly into the prospect of mutual desire. The threat of the great 'I like you' could be softened by adding, 'but not so much that I will let you know it directly..." Chloe and I were politely sparing each other the need to pay the full price for a candid declaration of love.当丘比特是一个如此有偏向的释义者时,当他所期望能成真的梦想是那么明显时,要保持冷静的头脑是多么困难啊!他是不是在强加给克洛艾一份只有他自己才感受到的情感?他凭着我渴望得到你这一想法,错误地得出相应的想法:你渴望得到我,是不是犯了那古老的错误?

14.We helped to define what we wanted by reference to others. Chloe had a friend at work who had a history of relationships with unsuitable types. A courier was the current blunderer.我们参照别人来定位自己。克洛艾有个工作伙伴总是爱上不适合自己的人,爱的信使在玩弄这位感情的牺牲品。

'I mean, why does she hang out with a burly bloke in leather trousers who smells of exhaust fumes and is using her for sex? And that's fine if she wanted to use him for sex too, but apparently he can't even sustain an erection for that long.'

'How terrible,' I answered, worried by the possible definition of the word 'long'.

'Or just sad. One has to go into relationships with equal expectations, ready to give as much as the other - not with one person wanting a fling and the other real love. I think that's where all the agony comes from.'

“我是说,为什么她要与一个比她笨三千倍的人待在一起,哪怕是一分钟。他甚至对她一点都不好。我跟她说过,那个人与她交往根本就是为了性。如果她的目的也是如此,那倒也无所谓。但显然她不是这样,因此她简直把两个人的生活都搞得一团糟。”

“听起来很可怕。”

“是呀,真让人难过。一个人得选择双方平等对待、彼此同等付出的关系——而不是一个只愿及时行乐,另一个人想要真正的爱情。没有平衡,认不清自己,或不明确自己想从生活中获得什么,或什么都不搞清楚,我想这就是痛苦的源泉。”

我们尝试着给自己定位,猜测心上人给予我们的定义,我们以最拐弯抹角的方式行事。我们询问对方“一个人想从爱情中获得什么呢?”——这“一个人”体现了言语的微妙回避,避免涉及自己。尽管这种方式可能被当作游戏,却既重要又有用。这些疑虑、这种不加定论(是/不是?)存在一定的逻辑性。即便克洛艾有一天会表示说“是”,这种先经Z再从A到B的过程也比直接的表达更为有利。它把冒犯一个不情愿的对象的风险减到最少,使心甘情愿的对象放松下来,更为舒缓地进入共同的渴望之中。那句伟大的表白“我喜欢你”所存在的危险,可以通过补上一句“但我并不想让你直截了当地知道……”来减少。

我们进入了一场游戏,这游戏允许我们随时全身而退。它的主要规则就是,在进行过程中必须不留游戏的痕迹,两位参与者必须全然忘却游戏的存在。我们运用语言的普通词汇,赋予它们新的意义,拓展了符号和普通意义之间的张力:

代码 “人们对爱应该少一些玩世不恭”

= 信息 “为了我你放弃玩世不恭吧”

这种类似战争中使用的密码使我们能够想谈就谈,不必担忧自己或对方的欲望不被回应而遭受羞辱。如果纳粹指挥官突然闯进屋来,盟国情报员可以轻松地宣称他们只是在播送莎士比亚的作品,而不是在传输最敏感的文件(我渴望得到你)——因为克洛艾和我实际交谈的内容并没有将我们直接牵涉其中。如果诱惑的信号非常微弱,以至可以被否认(轻轻拂一下手或凝视的时间过长),那么谁能说我们甚至是在谈论诱惑?

这是最好的方式;无论何时,对于两个通过语言进行漫长而又危险的跋涉去彼此了解的人来说,只有这种方式才会减少他们所冒的巨大风险:袒露自己的欲望,又目睹它惨遭拒绝。

15.Because it was past six and her office was closing, I asked Chloe whether she might not after all be free to have dinner with me that night. She smiled at the suggestion, stared briefly out of the window at a bus heading past St Martin- in-the-Fields, looked back and said, 'No, thanks, that would really be impossible.'

Then, just as I was ready to despair, she blushed.时间已经过了五点半了,克洛艾的办公室现在已经下班。于是我问她晚上是否真的没空和我一起吃饭。她笑了,瞥了一下窗外,一辆巴士开过圣马丁教堂,然后她回过头来盯着烟灰缸,说:“是的,谢谢,确实不行。”就在我开始绝望的时候,她的脸羞红了。

正因为羞涩最适于人们用来应对自己面对诱惑时的模棱两可,所以经常被援引解释欲望之所以缺少明显表征的原因。面对心上人模棱两可的信号,没有什么比把这不予应允理解为羞涩——渴望在心,但口难开——更好的解释了。羞涩暴露了一个耽于幻想的心灵,因为谁的行为举止中又总有羞涩的痕迹呢?仅只借由对方的脸红、默不出声或是局促不安的笑声确认它的存在,从而希望对方羞涩的诱惑者就永不会失望,这是傻子都会使用的简单方法。它可以让信号由无到有,能够将否定变为肯定,它甚至表明,易于羞涩的人比自信的人的欲望更为强烈,其强烈程度可以通过表情的难易程度来验证。

16.Faced with ambiguous signals, what better explanation than shyness: the beloved desires, but is too shy to say so. The seducer who wishes to call his victim shy will never be disappointed.

'My God, I've just forgotten something terrible,' said Chloe, offering an alternative explanation for a red face, 'I was supposed to call the printer this afternoon. I can't believe I forgot to do that. I'm losing my head.'

The lover offered sympathy.

'But look, about dinner, we'll have to do it another time. I'd love that, I really would. It's just difficult at the moment, but I'll give my diary another look and call you tomorrow, I promise I will, and maybe we can fix something up for before this weekend.'

“天哪,我忘了重要的事情,”克洛艾说,从而给她的脸红以另外一个解释,

“我今天下午应该给印刷商打电话的。该死,我简直不相信我竟然忘了。我都昏头了。”

仰慕者表示了同情。

“至于晚饭,你看,我们得另找一个时间了。我很乐意,真的。但现在确实不行,让我再看看记事本,明天给你电话,我保证。也许周末之前我们就能见面了。”

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