同意与否 | 剑桥写作系列（10）

C8 T3 P79

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?（考官范文: P167）

◆◆ 写作结构剖析 ◆◆

There is no doubt that traffic and pollution from vehicles have become huge problems, both in cities and on motorways everywhere. (I think that) Solving these problems is likely to need more than a simple rise in the price of petrol.

首段就是改写题目 + 个人观点。虽然没有用 I think / my view is that 表明个人观点，more than 却能紧扣主题：不能仅仅通过提升油价改善交通和环境。

While it is undeniable that private car use is one of the main causes of the increase in traffic and pollution, higher fuel costs are unlikely to limit the number of drivers for long. (解释原因) As this policy would also affect the cost of public transport, it would be very unpopular with everyone who needs to travel on the roads. But there are various other measures that could be implemented that would have a huge effect on these problems.

对于含有绝对词的题目，通常的论证逻辑是认同题目给出的方法是合理或有效的，再提出更有效的措施反驳题目的 the best way (比如: 主体段3)。

主体段1 的论证逻辑是直接反驳题目中的观点 (好也是坏，事情有两面性)，灰色字体是为了帮助大家理解文章结构而后添加的，如下解析：

虽然私家车的使用是导致交通阻塞和环境污染的主要原因之一，(提升油价能够在一定程度上减少私家车的使用)，但是也会提升公共交通出行的成本。(因此，提升油价不是一个最好的办法)

I think to tackle the problem of pollution, cleaner fuels need to be developed. (This is because) The technology is already available to produce electric cars that would be both quieter and cleaner to use. (Therefore) Persuading manufacturers and travellers to adopt this new technology would be a more effective strategy for improving air quality, especially in cities. (提出解决措施: 对应题目第2个问号)

考官范文段落拓展逻辑清晰可见：主旨句(提出更有效的解决措施) + 解释 / 举例子(新能源汽车) + 段内总结

However, traffic congestion will not be solved by changing the type of private vehicle people can use. To do this, we need to improve the choice of public transport services available to travellers. For example, if sufficient sky trains and underground train systems were built and effectively maintained in our major cities, then traffic on the roads would be dramatically reduced. Long-distance train and coach services should be made attractive and affordable alternatives to driving your own car for long journeys.

驳论段写作逻辑：提出反方观点(可省略) + 反驳题目观点 + 解决措施

驳论段中到底如何反驳？

我们通常给出“解决方法”或“坏也是好”或“新理由”进行反驳，下面例子帮助理解：

1. Admittedly，A事物也有不好 (苹果手机价格太贵)。However，反驳A事物的不好 (解决方法：年轻人可以通过做兼职或省下平时的零用钱来买这部手机)。

2. Admittedly，A事物也有不好 (苹果手机价格太贵)。However，反驳A事物的不好 (坏也是好：正是因为贵，年轻人在使用的时候才会特别在意，从而延长了手机的使用寿命)。

3. Admittedly，A事物也有不好 (苹果手机价格太贵)。However，反驳A事物的不好 (新理由：苹果手机很少出现故障，所以贵点也值得)。

In conclusion, I think that long-term traffic and pollution reductions would depend on educating the public to use public transport more, and on governments using public money to construct and run efficient systems.

总结：教育是解决一切问题的根本途径

C9 T2 P54

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree? (书中提供8分文章: P165)

先思考一个问题：题目中括弧中的内容是否需要论证？

◆◆ 写作结构剖析 ◆◆

It has been suggested that high school students should be involved in unpaid community services as a compulsory part of high school programmes. Most of the colleges are already providing opportunities to gain work experience, however these are not compulsory. In my opinion, sending students to work in communities services is a good idea as it can provide them with many lots of valuable skills.

首段第一句改写题目，第二句看似也是改写，但前半句更像是引入背景。第三句是给出个人观点：同意做免费社区服务对学生有好处，使用了 as 引导原因状语从句概括了好在哪里。

Life skills are very important and by doing voluntary work, students can learn how to communicate with others and work in a team but also how to manage their time and improve their organizational skills. Nowadays, unfortunately, teenagers do not have many after-school activities. After-school clubs are no longer that popular and students mostly go home and sit in front of the TV, browse internet or play video games.

上面段落中，第1句说明生活技能很重要，并进行了解释 (沟通，合作，管理实践，提升组织能力)；第2句使用了对比论证 (现在的年轻人很少有课外活动 after-school activities) ，目的就是首尾呼应，证明生活技能很重要。

By giving them compulsory work activities with charitable or community organisations, they will be encouraged to do something more creative (个人认为此句跟下一句的内容关联性不大). Skills gained through compulsory work will not only be an asset on their CV but also increase their employability. Students will also gain more respect towards work and money as they will realize that it is not that easy to earn them and hopefully will learn to spend them in a more practical way.

上面段落中，第1句和第2句关联性，我个人更倾向于修改成：By giving them compulsory work activities with charitable or community organisations, students may increase their employability, earn a higher salary and make more contribution to the society. 本段主要说明强制性社区服务可以提高就业率。

Healthy life balance and exercise are strongly promoted by the NHS, and therefore any kind of spare time charity work will prevent from sitting and doing nothing. It could also possibly reduce the crime level in the high school age group. If students have activities to do, they will not to be bored and come up with silly ideas which can be dangerous for them or their surroundings.

最后一句使用了 If 条件句正向论证，如果有事可干，年轻人就不太会做违法乱纪的事情。大家在写作时也可以 If 进行反向假设论证：如果不这样做，会导致什么后果。

In conclusion, I think this is a very good idea, and I hope this programme will be put into action for high schools’ colleges shortly.

读完文章后，我们会发现题目中括弧的内容不需要在文章论证，因为这是考官为了让大家更清晰的理解题意而进行的举例。

同意与否 | 剑桥写作系列（10）

你可能感兴趣的:(同意与否 | 剑桥写作系列（10）)