控制不如疏导

你好，欢迎你的到来。我是凤超，你身边的高效人生教练，学好时间管理和精力管理，过超然人生！

---

As Linda tried to understand her own behavior better, she began to realize that it stemmed from a strong need for control and an unwillingness to trust others and to delegate. The fact that the people who worked for her felt resentful and frustrated was something that Linda found unacceptable. It was especially intolerable to think of herself as lacking integrity—a value that she put near the top of her list.

Linda尝试剖析和理解自己的行为，意识到她的问题其实来源于控制欲，不信任他人，不愿授权。下属的埋怨和不满让Linda难以接受，尤其是评价她缺乏正直，这是她最重要的价值观之一。

Linda created a simple ritual around commitment. Aware that her impulse was to take on every project put before her, she decided to institute a more structured, deliberate way of making such decisions. When any new challenge arose, she paused
and asked herself two key questions. The first was “Is this something I need to do myself?” If her answer was yes, the second question was: “When does it need to be finished, and can I reasonably get it done by then?” If she had any doubt, she checked her calendar, and if she decided to take it on, she made an immediate addition to her to-do list, including a promised completion date.

Linda建立了承诺相关的仪式习惯。她意识到自己总想承担所有摆在她面前 的工作，她决定用一种更具逻辑性、更谨慎的方式来做决策。新任务出现时，她首先问自己：“这件事需要我亲自来做吗？”如果答案是肯定的，再问自己第二个问题：“什么时间必须完成，我有没有能力遵守？”如果她心存疑问，就会先对照自己的日程表；如果她接下工作，立刻把它加入待办事项，并写出明确的截止期限。

我的思考My Thinking

控制欲是很难察觉的，它会因为害怕失去控制而产生不安全感。控制欲太强会导致自己不信任他人，凡事自己都要过目，占用了自己大量的时间和精力，反而忽略了重要事情。
It's difficult to notice the need for control which results in sense of insecurity. People with strong control desire don't trust others easily and take care of everything by themselves which consume a lot of time and Energy while neglecting other important things.

控制欲的人也倾向随意承诺，工作中这种人很常见，随口答应，再跟进时发现还没有做，尽管许诺马上做！不断问自己““这件事需要我亲自来做吗？”和“我最要的事情是什么？”这会对自己的控制欲疏导，进而把最重要的事情“控制”好。

People with strong control tend to promise others which is very common in work, however do not deliver when they are followed up. Ask "“Is this something I need to do myself?" and "What is the most important thing for me". The questions will buffer the desire and "control" the most important things.