How to Keep a Conversation Going & Never Run Out of Things to Say
One of the BIGGEST problems you may facewhen trying to meet new friends is the awkward silence. Encountering thissituation is so uncomfortable that it can even force you to avoid meeting newpeople in the first place, but there is a way to get around it. In the past,I I struggled with this so much that I thought it could never besolved. I even thought it had to do with my DNA or something… but I provedmyself wrong when I learned how to solve it. Not knowing how to keep aconversation going can really harm your social life, but if you know how to keepthose words flowing, you can meet, talk to, and get to know pretty much anyoneyou like—creating great possibilities for friendship, fun, and sharedactivities that you would otherwise have missed out on.
Why You Run Out of Things to Say
After studying this in depth, I foundpatterns of behavior that can keep you from making great conversation withpeople. One of these common behaviors is the habit of filtering—holdingback from saying something until you’ve “checked” with yourself to make surethat what you’re about to say is cool, impressive, smart, and interesting. Whatdoes that do to your conversation ability? It kills it! Another problem is notlearning to get in the mood for conversation. If you spent a whole day workingor studying analytical or logical subjects, and you don’t know how to switchfrom that, then it can take a lot of time to warm up and start interacting withpeople socially. You can overcome this simply by learning a few new skills,such as the ones listed below. Once you do that, you’ll be able to talk to newpeople, and make friends, much more easily.
How to Keep Conversations Going
Let’s get you started with a couple ofbasic, yet solid techniques on how to be a great conversationalist:
Conversation technique #1 No Filtering
This is the reflex that allows you to saywhatever goes on in your mind. No filtering, no checking with yourself ”would I sound cool if I say this?”. None of that. The best way topractice this is to start doing it with people you kind of know—do youdare to try it? It’s fun to realize that you’re allowed to say whatever is onyour mind, and no-one is going to judge you for it. As long as you don’t sayanything that could land you in jail, you’re okay! People don’t care too muchabout how “awesome” what you’re saying is, because they’re too focused on howTHEY are coming across. Get it? If so, let’s move on…
Conversation technique #2 “Interesting,tell me more!”
This works 99% of the time. It’s a surefiretechnique, and it works especially well for beginners. People love to knowthat you’re interested in what they have to say, so if you show some interest,they’ll hang around and want to talk to you even more. All of the “oh! that’sinteresting…”, “Hmm, I’ve never heard of that”, “Hmm, cool!”expressions arereactionary bits of conversation that prove to the other person that you’rereally listening, and that’s very flattering to them.
Conversation technique #3 Stories fromEverywhere
Everyone knows that stories juice-upconversations, but most people only talk about stories their own lives. Youdon’t have to draw from your own experience when speaking with someone: you canuse stories from anywhere, from stories that happened to people you know, tothose you came across via the radio, TV, magazines, etc. How can you integratethe stories into your conversation? The key is to first realize that you canuse them. You’ve already heard them, and the more interesting or weird theyare, the harder they are to forget, so you’re all good. Your brain doesn’t losethem. When someone mentions something related to any of them, just tellthe story, even if it’s not from your life. It can be any silly story,short or long, interesting, or totally awkward—just use it! People love talkingto people who can just share stuff openly like that. These techniques shouldget you started, but if you want to take it to an advanced level—to the pointwhere you can just have fun when talking to anyone, meet the right people youwant in your life, and be able to make friends with them fast—then I recommendthat you take a little time to learn more about how conversationswork. If you do that, you’ll make conversations far more interesting, withnatural ease, avoiding all awkward silences that might prevent you from meetingthe right friends that you would love to have around.
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