文／雷开梅
译/李十一的石
明天是老公离去一周年的日子，今天是儿子的生日。前几天，儿子很懂事的对我说以后不过生日了，我们怀念爸爸。我默许。
如果真有转世，老公应该一岁了，我和儿子为他庆生！
若转世成为一棵树，也有半米高了。这个春天虽然有些寒意，树枝上也会坠满花苞，无论在哪里开放，不管有没有人欣赏，我相信他一定是怒放的。
若转世成为一个水滴，他一定来自山涧的小溪，欢笑着、跳跃着，不管最后落到哪里。
倘若转世成为一个孩童，如今也该蹒跚学步了。不过不要再长一双小眼睛，个头要高一点。
据说天堂很美，没有苦难，有人间一切的美好。那里一定有很多美女，我担心这个潇洒的老头被美女簇拥，已经忘记我和儿子了。
尽管他临走前一天还跟我说他布置好新家等我们团聚，还说给我托梦。我有些怀疑，连我的梦里他都很少来。活人说话都不能百分百相信呢！
我还想这个老头搞不好下地狱了。按理说应该不会，他生前总是做好事，视朋友比亲人还亲。若下了地狱，那就苦了。
再想想他这一生的境遇，地狱他也不会怕了。再说人间并不一定比地狱好多少。
我的手机里一直留着两条信息，一条是我骑车从十堰回到房县，到家后给他报平安，他回复“谢天谢地”。
另一条让我给流浪狗朵朵“买一根火腿肠”。我会经常看看这两条信息，想想他的笑脸。
这个人，是一个让亲朋好友温暖的人，是值得让我一生思念的人。几次出现在我的梦里，仍然是弱弱的，躺在病床上的样子，醒来我除了心疼，同时也暗暗为他祝福。
如果老年患了不治之症，知道死之必然，早一天结束病疼对肉体的折磨，那也叫幸福。
一年了，我不想称为“祭日”，不想过于悲切，那不是我们的风格。
一年了，我和儿子继续我们的快乐。
生也快乐，死也快乐，生死相依，生死一体。
老头儿，我们举杯为你庆生！
译文文本：
It's been a year, a whole year, by tomorrow, since my husband passed away and it's our son's birthday today. Our son told me thoughtfully a couple of days ago that he would just skip his birthday in memory of his father. And I agreed in silence.
If afterlife did exist, my husband would be one year old, and we celebrate his birthday!
If he became a tree in his afterlife, he would be half a meter high by now. It's still a little bit chilly this spring, yet there're flower buds on the branches, they must will be in full bloom no matter where the tree is, whether they enjoy it or not.
If he turned into a water drop, he must come from the streams among the mountains, smiling, bouncing, not having any idea about where he would eventually be.
If he were reincarnated as a baby, he would be able to walk by now——preferably his eyes wouldn't be that small and he would grow a bit taller.
Heaven is said to be a beautiful place where there're no hardships and there is every nice thing as we have on this earth. There must be lots of pretty women and I'm thinking this cool, stylish old man will be surrounded by them and has forgotten us.
Though he told me he would arrange the new home there waiting for us and how he would appear in my dream. I am a little doubtful, he seldom comes into my dreams. Well, we can't even one hundred percent trust a living man, after all!
I wonder...if he went to hell. No, it's not possible, not reasonable. He was so nice when he was alive and always helped others. It would be terrible if he went to hell...
But on the second thought, hell won't be scary for him given his encountings in all his life...
I've saved two messages in my phone all the time. One is when I went back to Fangxian from Shiyian by bike I told him I had arrived home and he went "Thank God". The other is asking me to "buy a ham sausage" for Duoduo the homeless dog.
I look at these two messages often thinking about his smiling face.
This man was someone who always warmed others, whom I'll miss my entire life.
He did show up several times and in my dreams he was still weak lying on bed, my heart aches, and sends my blesses and wishes for him too.
If one gets old and a sickness that's incurable, knowing that death is but a matter of time, it'll be happiness as well to end the pain deprived from the illness, maybe earlier.
It's been a year, I don't want to call it "death day/death anniversary" and I don't feel like being too sad, that's not how we do things.
Been a whole year, me and our son go on our happy life.
To live and die, always bond together.
Old man, we lift our glasses wishing you a happy birthday!
李十一 2016-4-21 译于十堰市房县
附言：
石一：读到这篇文章已经是四年之后的春天，在这阳光和雨水充沛的地方，景明春和，人心依如春雨澄澈，而风物闲美，忽觉春色如旧，万物无邪。手捧春泥，触摸大地四方辽阔，目光所及之处，花鸟鱼虫和乡人在此安居。在祥和的人间，每到一年都有复苏的生命，心中千千结只待化为世上二三事。
而其中一件事就是爱情。
这是一篇雷开梅姐姐写给她的先生齐大卫的文章，她写这篇是在2012年3月21日，齐大卫先生故去一周年的日子。而他们的儿子生日恰是3月20日。
可想而知每年春天的三月，姐姐的心是清寂山野，又再思念那熟悉的脚步声。有的人的脚步声只会让她深深缩进泥土，而有的脚步声却让她悄然探出头来，并欢愉地同他共度一段人生。那是精神的链接，而万事如草木枯荣有律，若说有什么长青，我以为唯精神万古。
齐先生其人我是没有缘分在他生前相见了，然而这次从姐姐的藏书和他的文字照相中，仿佛是神交了一位朋友。而人总会从俗世中逝去，我相信有一天我们大家都在一个地方相遇。