2021.6.3
【分享】
撒古鲁：一生一个伴侣：是否已经过时？
When you become eighteen, you become always against marriage.
当你十八岁时，你变得总是反对婚姻。
But when you were three years of age, you were for marriage, your parents’ marriage.
但当你还是三岁时，你赞同婚姻，你父母亲的婚姻。
So it is for you to consider whether you want to live a life where emotionally you’re always looking out for somebody or you settle it in a certain way so that you can use your intelligence and time to create something else.
所以这是你要考虑的——你是想要过情感上总是在寻找某个人的生活，还是以某种方式安定下来，好利用你的智力和时间去创造其他东西。
Moderator (Anjali Yogi):So, I had this belief or in fact, maybe I was made to believe this whole concept of one life, one partner. But now when I see or observe, the whole monogamous relations do not seem to be existing anymore. The whole idea of it is gone (Sadhguru Laughs). What do you think about it?
提问者（Anjali Yogi）：我有这个观念，或事实上，可能是我被迫相信这个一生一个伴侣的观念。但现在我发现或观察到，整个一夫一妻的关系似乎不存在了。这种观点已经整个都消失了（萨古鲁笑）。您怎么认为？
Sadhguru:It’s not gone. Maybe in JNU it’s gone (Laughter). In the rest of the world, it’s not really gone. Even if you go to United States where there seems to be so much promiscuity, even there, when people marry, they believe it's for life. Tch. But of course two years later, life gets over (Laughter). That’s another matter but when they get married, they believe it's for life. That’s why they invest in the diamonds. They think it's a lifetime investment. They’re putting on that, but unfortunately for all kinds of things, relationships go wrong.
Sadhguru（萨古鲁）：它没消失。可能在尼赫鲁大学，它消失了（笑声）。在世界其他地方，它其实没消失。即便你去美国那种私生活似乎很混乱的地方，即便在那里，当人们结婚时，他们相信是要过一辈子的。啧，但当然两年以后，一辈子就结束了（笑声）。那是另一回事，但当他们结婚时，他们相信是一生都在一起的。这是他们花钱买钻石的原因。他们认为那是一生的投入。他们戴上它，但不幸的是由于各种各样的原因，关系出现问题。
And one reason they go wrong so easily is because people are meeting much later in their life. See, when people met much younger, when their personalities were not concretized, they met early - seventeen, eighteen - then two people became like one person, very easily. Now they’re meeting at thirty, now both are concretized. Two concrete blocks. But I’m seeing, young people if they marry, they hang on. If people marry over fifty years of age, they hang on because they have again softened up, concretize again (Laughter). Between thirty and fifty, it's a bit of a concrete block, you know? Strong persona – now, friction happens. Well, if they are wise, they will find something beyond.
这么容易出现问题的一个原因是人们在生命中相遇得太晚。你看，当人们很早相遇，当他们的个性还没固定时，他们早早相遇——十七岁、十八岁——两个人会很容易变得像一个人。现在他们在三十岁相遇，两个人的个性都固定了，像两块混凝土一样。我看到，如果结婚时很年轻，他们相处得来。如果人们五十岁以后再结婚，他们也能相处得来，因为彼此都柔和下来了，但还会再凝固起来（笑声）。在三十岁至五十岁之间，像一块混凝土，你知道吗？强硬的个性，从而发生摩擦。嗯，如果他们是智慧的，就会发现超越于此的东西。
Well, monogamy and polygamy or whatever kind of gamy, if you want to see (Few Laugh), the important thing we need to understand is, you know, we are all here, you and me are here - this means a man and woman came together some time ago. Maybe, you think, they’re... think, “Ah, they’re parents, you know? They don’t love, they don’t do sex, they don’t do anything, they’re…Just because a priest uttered a mantra, you were born, probably” (Laughter). No, it's not like that.
一夫一妻制、多偶制或任何什么制度，如果你愿意观察（些许笑声），我们需要明白的最重要的事是，你知道，我们所有人在这，你和我在这里——这意味着一个男人和女人在一起过。也许，你认为，他们……认为，“啊，他们是双亲，你知道吗？他们不相爱，他们没有性行为，他们什么都没做，他们……只是因为牧师唱了一段真言，你就出生了，可能。”（笑声）不，不是这样的。
Somebody had a physical need, so they handled it through marriage and we are here. When you become eighteen, you become always against marriage. But when you were three years of age, you were for marriage, your parents’ marriage. When you were three years of age, were you not glad your parents had a stable marriage? Hello?
某个人有生理需求，所以他们通过婚姻应对，就有了我们。当你十八岁时，你变得总是反对婚姻。但你还是三岁时，你赞同婚姻，你父母亲的婚姻。当你三岁时，你不为你父母亲有个稳定的婚姻高兴吗？嗯？
Participants:Yes.
与会者：是。
Sadhguru: When you’re eighteen, you think of free sex and no marriage and everything. But once again if you become fifty, fifty-five, then you will look for a relationship that lasts. So it is for you to consider - because it’s your life - to consider whether you want to live a life where emotionally you’re always looking out for somebody, or you settle it in a certain way so that you can use your intelligence and time to create something else. Your research, your work or whatever you’re doing, if emotions and body are settled, actually, your ability to use your intelligence will be much better. Otherwise every day you have to walk around to find somebody (Laughter/Applause).
Sadhguru（萨古鲁）：你十八岁时，你考虑的是自由的性行为，不结婚什么的。但如果你五十岁、五十五岁，你就会寻找持久的关系。所以这是你要考虑的——因为这是你的生活——考虑你是想要过情感上总是在寻找某个人的生活，还是以某种方式安定下来，好利用你的智力和时间去创造其他东西。你的科研、你的工作或任何你在做的事，如果情感和身体安定了，事实上，你使用智力的能力就会好很多。否则每天你都得到处去找个人（笑声/掌声）。
No, I’m not making this any this thing because I feel so bad in United States, people I know... You know, thousands of people are involved with me now. People over forty, forty-five years of age, women, I’m saying - wonderful people, but they’re all on this... these days they’ve all gone online, otherwise they go sit in a bar and wait. Somebody needs to pick them up today. It's terrible.
不，我没有编造任何事，因为在美国，我感觉很悲哀，我认识的人……你知道，现在数千人和我在一起。超过四十岁、四十五岁的人，女性，我说的是——很不错的人，但是她们都在……这段时间她们都去上网，要么她们就去酒吧等着。今天得有人带她们走。这很很糟。
Moderator (Anjali Yogi): Tinder generation.
主持人（Anjali Yogi）：Tinder（一种交友软件）一族。
Sadhguru:I’m sorry?
Sadhguru（萨古鲁）：什么？
Moderator (Anjali Yogi): Tinder generation.
主持人（Anjali Yogi）：Tinder一族。
Sadhguru: Whatever you want to call it (Laughter). When a woman at forty-five should have been loved and respected in a proper atmosphere, now she’s sitting there looking for some strange guy to come her way and she’s going to make the judgment in the next ten minutes when he buys her a drink or a dinner or something. This is tragic. This doesn’t mean everybody will go that way, but you must think of the larger well-being. Before you break a social structure, you must think whether we can replace it with a better structure.
Sadhguru（萨古鲁）：你想叫它什么都行（笑声）。一个四十五岁的女性本应在适当的氛围中被爱和尊重着，但现在她却坐在那期待某个陌生男性到她身边。当他给她买一杯酒或一份晚餐或什么时，她要在之后十分钟内做出判断。多么可悲。不是说每个人都会这样，但你必须考虑更大的幸福。在你打破一个社会结构之前，你必须思考我们是否能够用更好的结构替代它。
At any point in our life - let everybody understand this - whether it's a social structure, or a political structure, or a psychological setup in the society, whatever, before we break it, we must think through whether we have a better alternative system. Without an alternative system, if you break the existing damn thing that’s working reasonably well, then it’ll go crazy.
在我们生命的任何节点——每个人都要明白这一点——无论是社会结构，政治结构，还是社会中的某种心理架构，无论什么，在我们打破它之前，我们必须仔细思考我们是否有更好的替代系统。没有替代系统，如果你打破现行的还不错的那个东西，那就会出乱子。
【反思】
昨天本来是组里难得的一聚，结果因为有三个人第二天答辩修改文章等事情，只是见了一面。师妹肚子不舒服，坐了一会也就走了。最后变成了只剩下我们原本四个人的聚餐。倒是吃的也挺好，只是没有了聚餐的大氛围。反思了几件事情。
1.聚餐时间一定不要选在重大日期前一天，留有余地，也避免出现问题；
2. 总会有不可抗力，出现的时候接受它，然后可以的人们一起欢聚一堂也不失为一种快乐。