计算机界名言录 (转) 选项

网上转的，中文没翻完全，英文原文附在后面。
年底了，大家乐一下。

　   2、计算机好比比基尼，他们节约了人们胡猜乱想的时间。 (Sam Ewing)

　　3、他们有计算机，所以，他们可能拥有其他大规模杀伤性武器。 (Janet Reno)

　　5、如果汽车的发展周期跟电脑一样的话，那么一辆劳斯莱斯今天可能只卖100美元，一加仑油跑100万英里，而且，每年要爆炸一次，里面的人全死光光。
(Robert X. Cringely)

　　8、问"电脑会不会自己思考"如同问"潜艇会不会自己游泳"。(Edsger W. Dijkstra)

　　11、永远不要信任一台你不能扔出窗外的计算机。 (Steve Wozniak)

　　12、硬件就是计算机系统中能用脚踢的那一部分。 (Jeff Pesis)

　　14、我终于明白了"向下兼容"是什么意思。它意味着我们要保留一切旧的错误。(Dennie van Tassel)

　　21、想想吧，现在已经有一百万个猴子坐在一百万台打印机，但是Usenet（早期的网络用户组�C译者注）
　　却一点都不像莎士比亚。 (Blair Houghton)

　　27、不管你的演示做得如何熟练，经过了过少次彩排，一旦面对现场观众的时候，演示不出错的几率与观
　　众人数成反比，与投入的金钱成正比。 (Mark Gibbs)

　　48、不要担心程序工作不正常，如果它老是正常，你早就失业了。（Mosher的软件工程师定律）

　　52、首先，解决问题。然后，写出代码。(John Johnson)

　　61、我想微软之所以命名.Net，是为了让它不会显示在Unix目录清单里。(Larry Flon)

　　63、计算机语言设计好比在公园散步，不过是侏罗纪公园。(Larry Wall)

　　68、罗马帝国衰亡的一个主要原因是他们的数字中没有0，这样他们就无法成功地结束C程序。 (Robert
　　Firth)

　　69、Java，在很多方面就是C++-

　　70、说Java好是因为它可以跨平台工作，这好比说肛交好事因为它可以跨性别工作。(Alanna)

　　73、软件像性，越免费约好。(Linus Torvalds)

　　75、好的代码本身就是最好的说明文档。(Steve McConnell)

　　76、你写下的任何代码，在六个月以后去看的话，都像是别人写的。 (Tom Cargill)

　　84、如果调试（Debug）是去除Bug的过程，那么编程就是制造Bug的过程。(Edsger W. Dijkstra)

　　89、如果麦当劳是一家软件公司，那么每卖出一百个巨无霸，就会造成一起食物中毒，并且麦当劳的答复会是："我们很抱歉，这是补偿给您的两个巨无霸的优惠券。"
(Mark Minasi)
**********

People always fear change. People feared electricity when it was
invented, didn't they? People feared coal, they feared gas-powered
engines. There will always be ignorance, and ignorance leads to fear.
But with time, people will come to accept their silicon masters."

As Bill Gates once warned, computers have indeed become our silicon
masters, pervading nearly every aspect of our modern lives. As a
result, some of the greatest minds of our time have pondered the
significance of computers and software on the human condition.
Following are 101 great quotes about computers, with an emphasis on
programming, since after all this is a software development site.

Computers

"Computers are useless. They can only give you answers."
(Pablo Picasso)

"Computers are like bikinis. They save people a lot of guesswork."
(Sam Ewing)

"They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction."
(Janet Reno)

"That's what's cool about working with computers. They don't argue,
they remember everything, and they don't drink all your beer."
(Paul Leary)

"If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the
computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per
gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside."
(Robert X. Cringely)

Computer Intelligence

"Computers are getting smarter all the time. Scientists tell us that
soon they will be able to talk to us. (And by 'they', I mean
'computers'. I doubt scientists will ever be able to talk to us.)"
(Dave Barry)

"I've noticed lately that the paranoid fear of computers becoming
intelligent and taking over the world has almost entirely disappeared
from the common culture. Near as I can tell, this coincides with the
release of MS-DOS."
(Larry DeLuca)

"The question of whether computers can think is like the question of
whether submarines can swim."
(Edsger W. Dijkstra)

"It's ridiculous to live 100 years and only be able to remember 30
million bytes. You know, less than a compact disc. The human condition
is really becoming more obsolete every minute."
(Marvin Minsky)

Trust

"The city's central computer told you? R2D2, you know better than to
trust a strange computer!"
(C3PO)

"Never trust a computer you can't throw out a window."
(Steve Wozniak)

Hardware

"Hardware: The parts of a computer system that can be kicked."
(Jeff Pesis)

Software

"Most software today is very much like an Egyptian pyramid with
millions of bricks piled on top of each other, with no structural
integrity, but just done by brute force and thousands of slaves."
(Alan Kay)

"I've finally learned what 'upward compatible' means. It means we get
to keep all our old mistakes."
(Dennie van Tassel)

Operating Systems

"There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX.
We don't believe this to be a coincidence."
(Jeremy S. Anderson)

"19 Jan 2038 at 3:14:07 AM"
(End of the word according to Unix�C2^32 seconds after January 1, 1970)

"Every operating system out there is about equal… We all suck."
(Microsoft senior vice president Brian Valentine describing the state
of the art in OS security, 2003)

"Microsoft has a new version out, Windows XP, which according to
everybody is the 'most reliable Windows ever.' To me, this is like
saying that asparagus is 'the most articulate vegetable ever.' "
(Dave Barry)

Internet

"The Internet? Is that thing still around?"
(Homer Simpson)

"The Web is like a dominatrix. Everywhere I turn, I see little buttons
ordering me to Submit."
(Nytwind)

"Come to think of it, there are already a million monkeys on a million
typewriters, and Usenet is nothing like Shakespeare."
(Blair Houghton)

Software Industry

"The most amazing achievement of the computer software industry is its
continuing cancellation of the steady and staggering gains made by the
computer hardware industry."
(Henry Petroski)

"True innovation often comes from the small startup who is lean enough
to launch a market but lacks the heft to own it."
(Timm Martin)

"It has been said that the great scientific disciplines are examples
of giants standing on the shoulders of other giants. It has also been
said that the software industry is an example of midgets standing on
the toes of other midgets."
(Alan Cooper)

"It is not about bits, bytes and protocols, but profits, losses and margins."
(Lou Gerstner)

"We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated."
(Bumper sticker)

Software Demos

"No matter how slick the demo is in rehearsal, when you do it in front
of a live audience, the probability of a flawless presentation is
inversely proportional to the number of people watching, raised to the
power of the amount of money involved."
(Mark Gibbs)

Software Patents

"The bulk of all patents are crap. Spending time reading them is
stupid. It's up to the patent owner to do so, and to enforce them."
(Linus Torvalds)

Complexity

"Controlling complexity is the essence of computer programming."
(Brian Kernigan)

"Complexity kills. It sucks the life out of developers, it makes
products difficult to plan, build and test, it introduces security
challenges, and it causes end-user and administrator frustration."
(Ray Ozzie)

"There are two ways of constructing a software design. One way is to
make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies. And the
other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious
deficiencies."
(C.A.R. Hoare)

"The function of good software is to make the complex appear to be simple."
(Grady Booch)

Ease of Use

"Just remember: you're not a 'dummy,' no matter what those computer
books claim. The real dummies are the people who�Cthough technically
expert�Ccouldn't design hardware and software that's usable by normal
consumers if their lives depended upon it."
(Walter Mossberg)

"Software suppliers are trying to make their software packages more
'user-friendly'… Their best approach so far has been to take all the
old brochures and stamp the words 'user-friendly' on the cover."
(Bill Gates)

"There's an old story about the person who wished his computer were as
easy to use as his telephone. That wish has come true, since I no
longer know how to use my telephone."
(Bjarne Stroustrup)

Users

"Any fool can use a computer. Many do."
(Ted Nelson)

"There are only two industries that refer to their customers as 'users'."
(Edward Tufte)

Programmers

"Programmers are in a race with the Universe to create bigger and
better idiot-proof programs, while the Universe is trying to create
bigger and better idiots. So far the Universe is winning."
(Rich Cook)

"Most of you are familiar with the virtues of a programmer. There are
three, of course: laziness, impatience, and hubris."
(Larry Wall)

"The trouble with programmers is that you can never tell what a
programmer is doing until it's too late."
(Seymour Cray)

"That's the thing about people who think they hate computers. What
they really hate is lousy programmers."
(Larry Niven)

"For a long time it puzzled me how something so expensive, so leading
edge, could be so useless. And then it occurred to me that a computer
is a stupid machine with the ability to do incredibly smart things,
while computer programmers are smart people with the ability to do
incredibly stupid things. They are, in short, a perfect match."
(Bill Bryson)

"Computer science education cannot make anybody an expert programmer
any more than studying brushes and pigment can make somebody an expert
painter."
(Eric Raymond)

"A programmer is a person who passes as an exacting expert on the
basis of being able to turn out, after innumerable punching, an
infinite series of incomprehensive answers calculated with micrometric
precisions from vague assumptions based on debatable figures taken
from inconclusive documents and carried out on instruments of
problematical accuracy by persons of dubious reliability and
questionable mentality for the avowed purpose of annoying and
confounding a hopelessly defenseless department that was unfortunate
enough to ask for the information in the first place."
(IEEE Grid newsmagazine)

"A hacker on a roll may be able to produce�Cin a period of a few
months�Csomething that a small development group (say, 7-8 people)
would have a hard time getting together over a year. IBM used to
report that certain programmers might be as much as 100 times as
productive as other workers, or more."
(Peter Seebach)

"The best programmers are not marginally better than merely good ones.
They are an order-of-magnitude better, measured by whatever standard:
conceptual creativity, speed, ingenuity of design, or problem-solving
ability."
(Randall E. Stross)

"A great lathe operator commands several times the wage of an average
lathe operator, but a great writer of software code is worth 10,000
times the price of an average software writer."
(Bill Gates)

Programming

"Don't worry if it doesn't work right. If everything did, you'd be out
of a job."
(Mosher's Law of Software Engineering)

"Measuring programming progress by lines of code is like measuring
aircraft building progress by weight."
(Bill Gates)

"Writing code has a place in the human hierarchy worth somewhere above
grave robbing and beneath managing."
(Gerald Weinberg)

"First learn computer science and all the theory. Next develop a
programming style. Then forget all that and just hack."
(George Carrette)

"First, solve the problem. Then, write the code."
(John Johnson)

"Optimism is an occupational hazard of programming; feedback is the treatment."
(Kent Beck)

"To iterate is human, to recurse divine."
(L. Peter Deutsch)

"The best thing about a boolean is even if you are wrong, you are only
off by a bit."
(Anonymous)

"Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was
rejected without, I thought, proper consideration."
(Stan Kelly-Bootle)

Programming Languages

"There are only two kinds of programming languages: those people
always bitch about and those nobody uses."
(Bjarne Stroustrup)

"PHP is a minor evil perpetrated and created by incompetent amateurs,
whereas Perl is a great and insidious evil perpetrated by skilled but
perverted professionals."
(Jon Ribbens)

"The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should therefore be
regarded as a criminal offense."
(E.W. Dijkstra)

"It is practically impossible to teach good programming style to
students that have had prior exposure to BASIC. As potential
programmers, they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration."
(E. W. Dijkstra)

"I think Microsoft named .Net so it wouldn't show up in a Unix
directory listing."
(Oktal)

"There is no programming language�Cno matter how structured�Cthat will
prevent programmers from making bad programs."
(Larry Flon)

"Computer language design is just like a stroll in the park. Jurassic
Park, that is."
(Larry Wall)

C/C++

"Fifty years of programming language research, and we end up with C++?"
(Richard A. O'Keefe)

"Writing in C or C++ is like running a chain saw with all the safety
guards removed."
(Bob Gray)

"In C++ it's harder to shoot yourself in the foot, but when you do,
you blow off your whole leg."
(Bjarne Stroustrup)

"C++ : Where friends have access to your private members."
(Gavin Russell Baker)

"One of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was
that�Clacking zero�Cthey had no way to indicate successful termination
of their C programs."
(Robert Firth)

Java

"Java is, in many ways, C++�C."
(Michael Feldman)

"Saying that Java is nice because it works on all OSes is like saying
that anal sex is nice because it works on all genders."
(Alanna)

"Fine, Java MIGHT be a good example of what a programming language
should be like. But Java applications are good examples of what
applications SHOULDN'T be like."
(pixadel)

"If Java had true garbage collection, most programs would delete
themselves upon execution."
(Robert Sewell)

Open Source

"Software is like sex: It's better when it's free."
(Linus Torvalds)

"The only people who have anything to fear from free software are
those whose products are worth even less."
(David Emery)

Code

"Good code is its own best documentation."
(Steve McConnell)

"Any code of your own that you haven't looked at for six or more
months might as well have been written by someone else."
(Eagleson's Law)

"The first 90% of the code accounts for the first 90% of the
development time. The remaining 10% of the code accounts for the other
90% of the development time."
(Tom Cargill)

Software Development

"Good programmers use their brains, but good guidelines save us having
to think out every case."
(Francis Glassborow)

"In software, we rarely have meaningful requirements. Even if we do,
the only measure of success that matters is whether our solution
solves the customer's shifting idea of what their problem is."
(Jeff Atwood)

"Considering the current sad state of our computer programs, software
development is clearly still a black art, and cannot yet be called an
engineering discipline."
(Bill Clinton)

"You can't have great software without a great team, and most software
teams behave like dysfunctional families."
(Jim McCarthy)

Debugging

"As soon as we started programming, we found to our surprise that it
wasn't as easy to get programs right as we had thought. Debugging had
to be discovered. I can remember the exact instant when I realized
that a large part of my life from then on was going to be spent in
finding mistakes in my own programs."
(Maurice Wilkes discovers debugging, 1949)

"Debugging is twice as hard as writing the code in the first place.
Therefore, if you write the code as cleverly as possible, you are�Cby
definition�Cnot smart enough to debug it."
(Brian Kernighan)

"If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must
be the process of putting them in."
(Edsger W. Dijkstra)

Quality

"I don't care if it works on your machine! We are not shipping your machine!"
(Vidiu Platon)

"Programming is like sex: one mistake and you're providing support for
a lifetime."
(Michael Sinz)

"There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third one works."
(Alan J. Perlis)

"You can either have software quality or you can have pointer
arithmetic, but you cannot have both at the same time."
(Bertrand Meyer)

"If McDonalds were run like a software company, one out of every
hundred Big Macs would give you food poisoning, and the response would
be, 'We're sorry, here's a coupon for two more.' "
(Mark Minasi)

"Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a
violent psychopath who knows where you live."
(Martin Golding)

"To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer."
(Paul Ehrlich)

"A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in
human history�Cwith the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila."
(Mitch Radcliffe)

Predictions

"Everything that can be invented has been invented."
(Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, U.S. Office of Patents, 1899)

"I think there's a world market for about 5 computers."
(Thomas J. Watson, Chairman of the Board, IBM, circa 1948)

"It would appear that we have reached the limits of what it is
possible to achieve with computer technology, although one should be
careful with such statements, as they tend to sound pretty silly in 5
years."
(John Von Neumann, circa 1949)

"But what is it good for?"
(Engineer at the Advanced Computing Systems Division of IBM,
commenting on the microchip, 1968)

"There is no reason for any individual to have a computer in his home."
(Ken Olson, President, Digital Equipment Corporation, 1977)

"640K ought to be enough for anybody."
(Bill Gates, 1981)

"Windows NT addresses 2 Gigabytes of RAM, which is more than any
application will ever need."
(Microsoft, on the development of Windows NT, 1992)

"We will never become a truly paper-less society until the Palm Pilot
folks come out with WipeMe 1.0."
(Andy Pierson)

"If it keeps up, man will atrophy all his limbs but the push-button finger."
(Frank Lloyd Wright)

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