《Tuesdays with Morrie》笔记:一位社会心理学老教授的临终感悟

《Tuesdays with Morrie》笔记:一位社会心理学老教授的临终感悟_第1张图片

社会心理学教授,Morrie Schwartz,年愈七旬时不幸患上ALS(肌萎缩性侧索硬化,此病无法医治,患者只能等待死亡)。得知消息的Mitch Albom(教授旧日的门生,现身兼体育专栏作家,剧作家等职)上门拜访,相约每周二在教授家,上教授讲授的最后一门人生哲理课。Mitch Albom记录了与教授相处的最后时光,著下纪实类文体《Tuesdays with Morrie》。

全书以舞台剧剧本的形式展开,先介绍了作者背景,还有教授Morrie的过去,教授的书房(场景)。然后展开为十四幕,亦即十四节课,涉及世界,死亡,家人,婚姻钱财等等,最后用作者的话作总结。但实质上,全书主题只有一个:宣扬爱,要爱人和爱世界。用教授Morrie的话即是:“The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in.”

教授在课程里,不断解释爱,将爱的思想联系至人生的各个方面,着重爱的力量,学生Mitch则不厌其烦地记下,录在书中。

在第一节名为世界的课里,教授讲述了他得不治之症的最大感悟,原文如下:

“Mitch, you asked about caring for people I don’t even know. But can I tell you the thing I’m learning most with this disease?” “The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in.” His voice dropped to a whisper.“Let it come in. We think we don’t deserve love, we think if we let it in we’ll become too soft. But a wise man named Levine said it right. He said, ‘Love is the only rational act.’” He repeated it carefully, pausing for effect. “‘Love is the only rational act.’”

教授得病后,逐渐接受了现实对他的不公,亦不再寻求奢靡和渴求健康,意识到爱的重要性。无论一个人是富贵还是贫穷,是健康还是残疾,是有名气还是寂寂无闻,他都需要爱,爱是人最基本的需求。

不过,爱是有两面性的,在生活中,我们可能要承受爱人带来的痛苦,但教授依然执着,希望我们去爱:

“Take any emotion—love for a woman, or grieffor a loved one, or what I’m going through, fear and pain from a deadly illness. If you hold back on the emotions—if you don’t allow yourself to go all the way through them—you can never get to being detached, you’re too busy being afraid. You’re afraid of the pain, you’re afraid of the grief. You’re afraid of the vulnerability that loving entails.”

教授认为,只有感受痛苦,才能脱离痛苦的深渊,只有先爱人,才能接受别人的爱。“Love each other or perish.”教授知道若没有朋友的爱,没有家庭的爱,与疾病抗争的这段时光会非常难熬。

学生Mitch则遵从老教授的教诲,接受所有关于爱的观点,逐字逐句写在《Tuesdays with Morrie》里。有句话甚至出现两次,第一次出现在开篇,是作者的回想,另一次出现在第八节课,是教授的话:

So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they’re busy doing things they think are important. This is because they’re chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you,and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.

教授认为人生的意义在于爱的奉献,要将爱奉献于人,奉献于家庭,奉献于梦想,而不是沉溺于自认为重要的繁忙公务中,以消解孤独和逃避现实。

作者Mitch对此的回应则是:“I knew he was right.”作者每日为了事务应酬,在几个州之间来往,耗尽心力,忽略了家庭和朋友,被公司解雇后,才知道自己做的事并不重要。

在课程最后,Mitch作总结,并对过去的自己,说出最想说的一番话:I want to tell him to be more open, to ignore the lure of advertised values, to pay attention when your loved ones are speaking, as if it were the last time you might hear them.

作者想弥补往日过错,开始寻找患病后离家的弟弟,希望能如小时般,担起哥哥的责任。得到弟弟的联系方式后,作者说了很多往时想说但未说的话,并在对话的最后,补上一句:“I love you.”

终于,一向固执的弟弟在数周后寄来信件,述说近况,表明想重归于好的心迹。作者通过自身实例,再次宣扬了爱,赞同教授的思想。

而基督教经典《圣经》,哥林多前书第13章,也重点讲述了爱,后来被人誉为‘爱的篇章’:

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.

If I have the gift of prophecy and canfathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can movemountains, but have not love, I am nothing.

If I give all I possess the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

《圣经》认为,没有爱的人,即使拥有金钱,拥有神奇的能力,也依然是个没有灵魂的空壳。

《Tuesdays with Morrie》则接受并发展了《圣经》中爱的思想,与现代社会最注重的物质,金钱,权位结合,探讨施与爱的重要性:

“You know how I always interpreted that? These were people so hungry for love that they were accepting substitutes. They were embracing material things and expecting a sort of hug back. But it never works.You can’t substitute material things for love or for gentleness or for tenderness or for a sense of comradeship. “Money is not a substitute for tenderness, and power is not a substitute for tenderness. I can tell you, as I’m sitting here dying, when you most need it, neither money nor power will give you the feeling you’re looking for, no matter how much of them you have.”

教授 Morrie认为金钱不能买来健康,也不能买来爱,人们会感到空虚,是因为他们背道而驰,为追逐权力和富贵抛弃了爱。作者亦通过身兼数职的经历加以论述,他为了金钱,为了荣誉,忘记了家庭,忘记了当钢琴家的梦想,如今后悔不已。但作者在总结中说:There is no such thing as “too late” in life.作者希望通过创作《Tuesdays with Morrie》,能改过其自身,并带领身处迷途之人重返正途。

纵观全书,《Tuesdays with Morrie》虽然剧情不够吸引,但毕竟受限于现实类文体,“小疵不足以妨大美”。书中讲述的关于爱的思想,以及教授Morrie睿智的语言,都是无价的艺术,值得读者细细斟酌。

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