Is an Only Child a Lonely Child?

This month in Family Planner magazine, child psychologist Dr. Ethan Wood answers a question from Andrea Gonzales, who writes:

Q: Dear Dr. Wood,

My husband and I are facing a dilemma, namely, the issue of whether to have a second child-- we already have one healthy, happy five-year-old daughter. Both of us have demanding jobs, and limited time, and financial resources, but we're also very keen to make sure that our only child does not become a lonely child. So, what are the pros and cons of having a second child?

A: Dear Andrea,

This is one of the most difficult issues that parents nowadays face. As you point out, a concern that is often heard with regard to only children is whether one child necessarily means a lonely child. Many parents of only children feel a stigma associated with their decision to have only one child. There are no other children in the family for the child to associate with, and this may lead to the child feeling lonely at times, especially during vacations.（开头）

Another common argument against having just one child is that an only child may be more spoiled that one with siblings. Many people believe that a single child will not have learned to negotiate with others, and respect the give-and-take involved in many relationships. Some think this may leave the childless capable of interacting well with people his or her own age than one who has been raised with siblings.（一孩的弊端）

Despite these arguments, the number of parents choosing to have only one child is increasing in many parts of the world. In South Korea, the percentage of families with only one child is higher than ever. In fact, the average number of children per couple has fallen to 1.19 children--significantly below the replacement level of 2.1 children. This follows a general trend in Asia where in many countries, e.g., Japan, China, Singapore, and Thailand, couples are having on average fewer than two children. In Japan, the average number of children born per family had declined to 1.25 by 2005. This has led to government concerns about supporting an increasing population of elderly people in the future; it is predicted that by 2020, a third of the population in Japan will beaged65 or over. For some single-child parents, particularly those with busy careers, the pressure of devoting time and energy to a second child can seem too overwhelming, resulting in them electing to have no more children. For other parents, the financial burden of having a second child may be the prime consideration. Another important consideration is the increasing age at which women are getting married. Pregnancy and childbirth can be exceedingly demanding even on a young mother. Women in their 30s may choose not to go through it a second time, or can even have fertility issues.(不愿意生二孩的原因)

Advocates of single-child families argue that there are advantages for the child as well as the parents. With just one child, they suggest, there is less potential for family arguments arising from favoritism or sibling jealousy. Moreover, with only one child, the parents can give, and the child can receive, more quality time and attention.This often leads to increased self-esteem, which, combined with increased independence, can lead to the child being more confident. Unfortunately, Andrea, there is no simple answer to the question of whether or not to have a second child. The circumstance affecting each set of parents are unique, and what is appropriate for one family may not be for another. The important thing, in the end, is to make a decision that both you and your husband feel confident about.(一孩的好处及回应问题)

Reading skills: Recognizing Facts.

A fact is something that is always true. Opinions are only sometimes true and are signaled by "in my opinion,"believe," "think,' "might," "may," "probably," "should," etc. Knowing the difference between facts and opinions is important when researching controversial topics.