周末荐读|68岁凯文凯利的68条人生建议
作者介绍：
凯文·凯利，常被称为KK，《连线》杂志创始主编；曾担任《全球评论》主编、出版人。他被看作是“网络文化” 最重要的发言人和观察者，被誉为“硅谷精神教父”。KK具有多重身份：作家、摄影家、自然资源保护论者，同时还是亚洲文化、数字文化领域的学者。著有《失控》、《科技想要什么》、《必然》等。
编辑推荐：
不久前，凯文·凯利度过了他的68岁生日。作为互联网时代最重要的观察者，他给出了68条“不成熟的小建议”，或智慧，或幽默。
B座12楼翻译出品，以飨读者。
正文
（原文：https://kk.org/thetechnium/68-bits-of-unsolicited-advice/）
今天是我68岁的生日。感觉就像是个从摇椅上慢慢起身的老人，在给年轻人讲点人生经验。68条不成熟的小建议权当给大家的一份礼物。
学习向那些持不同意见甚至冒犯你的人学习。看看你能否从别人的深信不疑中发现真相。
永葆激情能让你的IQ增加25个点。
永远要设定 deadline。Deadline可以帮你剔除无关紧要的事情，它能让你避免追求「完美」。因此你必须尝试与众不同，与众不同才是更好。
不要害怕问一个听起来可能很蠢的问题。大家都在想同一个问题，只是害怕尴尬而羞于提出。
善于倾听是一种超能力。在听你爱的人说话的时候，不断地问他们 「还有吗，还有吗？」，直到没有。
定个年度目标，充分地了解一门学科。回望过去，你会发现一年前的自己是多么的无知。
学会感恩，它能解锁你的其他美德。你可以做得更好。
没什么是一顿饭解决不了的。它能帮你结识新朋友，巩固老朋友。
没有万能的胶水（办法）。
定期和孩子们一起阅读，它能让感情连接更紧密，激发孩子的想象力。
千万别刷信用卡消费。刷卡消费只存在一种情况：购买像房子这种交换价值极有可能增加的东西。大多数东西的交换价值在你购买的那一刻就会减少或消失。别因债致贫。
专业人士——知道如何从错误中吸取教训的业余爱好者。
惊人之语要有非比寻常的证据才能被认可。
不要做房间里最聪明的人。要和比自己更聪明的人交流学习。更进一步地，和那些与你意见相左的聪明人交流学习。
谈话的「三」原则。想要探究出真相，让别人比之前讲的再深入一点，一而再，再而三地问。问到第三遍也就接近真相了。
不要做最好的。要做唯一的。
每个人都是害羞的。别人都在等着你向他们介绍自己，等着你给他们发邮件，等着你约会。行动起来！
别人拒绝你，别往心里去。设想一下他们和你一样：忙、忙、忙、忙到心不在焉。调整好之后再试试。再试一次往往就会有奇迹发生。
习惯的目的是让那个动作免于自我谈判。你不用花费精力去决定是否去做，你只管去做就可以了。讲真话，用牙线等都是好的习惯。
-
及时是尊重的表现。
年轻的时候，至少要花半年到一年的时间过过苦日子。拥有最少的物质，在狭小的房间或帐篷里吃豆子和米饭，体验一下「最糟糕」的生活方式。如此，将来你去冒险，最糟糕的情况也不过如此。
相信我，没有「他们」这回事。
你对别人越感兴趣，别人就越觉得你有意思。要想有趣，先有兴趣。
再大度慷慨一点。临终前没有人因为付出太多而后悔过。
要做出好的东西，做就行了。要做出伟大的东西，只要重复，重复，再重复。重复出精品。
「黄金法则」永不失效。它是其他所有美德的基础。（※注：The Golden Rule is the principle of treating others as you want to be treated.「己所不欲，勿施于人」。）
在家里找东西，费了好大劲找到了，用完之后不要把它放回原位。把它放到你最初找它的地方。
存钱和投资都是好习惯。拿少量的钱做定投，几十年如一日，不假思索地做，是通往财富的一条道路。
犯错是人之常情。承认自己的错误是极好的。没有什么比快速认错并承担起个人责任，然后公平地纠正错误，更能提升一个人地位的。知错就改，这种力量无比强大，令人震惊。
-
永远不要卷入亚洲的领土争端。（※注：英文谚语，起源已不可考，蒙哥马利、艾森豪威尔等人皆引用过。）
-
你可以花心思在服务客户/受众/客户上，也可以把心思花在击败竞争对手上。两者都可行，但在这两者中，心思在顾客上会让你走得更远。
保持在场。躬身入局。有位成功人士总是说：99%的成功都是保持在场赢得的。
把创意阶段和改进阶段分开来。你不能边写边编辑，或者边雕琢边打磨，或者边制作边分析。如果你这样做，编辑就会阻碍创作。发明创造的时候，不要做选择；画草图的时候，不要反复检查；写初稿的时候，不要反思。最开始时，须把创作者的头脑从选择判断中释放出来。
如果你从未遭遇挫折，那是因为你安于现状，总在舒适区。
或许宇宙中最违反直觉的真理就是：你给别人付出的越多，你就会得到越多。明白了这个道理，你便开始拥有了智慧。
友谊胜万金。金钱能做到的，朋友能做的更好。很多时候，拥有一个有船的朋友比有自己的船更有用。
真理一则：诚实的人难以蒙蔽。
找不到的东西有95%的概率就在你一臂之间。在这个半径范围内找，一定能找到。
你的所作所为决定了你是怎样的人。不是你说什么，信什么，或站在哪边所决定的，时间花在哪里，你就是什么样的人。
-
忘带充电线充电器了，可以去酒店前台问问看。大多数酒店都有一个存满充电线、充电器的抽屉，说不定里面有你丢的那个。借来用用，据为己有亦可。
仇恨只是一种对别人没什么影响的诅咒。它只会毒害自己。把怨恨当做毒药来排解出来吧。
进步无止境。人虽有天赋高低，但自我提升永无止境。
要有心理准备。行百里者半九十。
人死之后，除了名声，什么也带不走。
在你变老之前，尽可能多地参加葬礼，听听看看。没有人会谈论逝去的人的功绩。人们唯一能记住的是你成功时候的样子。
花一块钱买一件实体物件，在它报废前还会再花一块钱用于维修、保养和报废。
任何真实的事物都是从虚构的东西开始的。因此，想象力是宇宙中最强大的力量，也是一种可以让你变得更好的技能。它是人生中的必杀技，可以让你不落窠臼，受益匪浅。
当危机和灾难来临时，不要浪费。没有问题，就没有改进。
度假时，绕过城市，先去行程中最偏远的地方。在偏远的地方，最大限度地感受异域风情；返程中，你会迎来熟悉的城市惬意。
-
收到未来某件事情的邀请，先问问自己：如果这件事被安排在明天，你会接受吗？大多数事情都通不过这个「灵魂拷问」。
如何道歉：快速、具体、诚恳。
千万别在电话里回应邀约或求婚。急切是一种伪装。
当有人对你态度下流、粗鲁、无礼、憎恨或刻薄的时候，就当他们有病好了。这样更容易对他们产生同理心，从而缓和冲突。
消除杂乱，为你真正的宝藏腾出空间。
你不会真想成名吧？读读那些名人传记好了。
不要在电子邮件中谈论那些你不愿意直接交流的人，因为最终他们也能读到这封邮件。
如果你只是极度渴望一份工作，你怕是会成为老板的另一个麻烦。如果你能解决老板当下遇到的问题，那你稳了。想要被雇佣，那就先像你的老板一样思考。
艺术总在留白中。
获取东西带不来多少的满足感。获取经验可以。
-
研究的「七」原则。只要你愿意闯过七关，你便能找到任何东西。如果第一信源不知道，那就问他们下一个应该问谁，以此类推地往下问。问到第七个，你总能得到答案。
不要迷信经验。招人的时候看能力，然后培训他技能。大多数真正了不起或伟大的事情，都是没经验的人做出来的。
一个假期+一场灾难=一次冒险。
购买工具。先从便宜的工具开始，逐步升级那些你经常使用的工具。工作中的常用工具，要舍得花钱买最好用的。
学会在不尴尬的情况下小憩20分钟。
如果你不知道自己想要什么，盲目追求享乐只会招致灾难。对于大多数年轻人来说，一个比较好的座右铭是「有一技之长，管它是什么」。有一技之长，你能给你延伸出更多的快乐，最终发现自己的幸福所在。
我很笃定地认为，再过100年，许多今天我们认为正确的事情都会被证明是错的，甚至可能大错特错。我会非常努力地去辨别今天错在哪里。
从长远来看，未来是由乐观主义者决定的。要成为一个乐观主义者，不是要你完全不管现有的问题，你要多多思考提高我们解决问题的能力。
宇宙在你身后暗暗相助。贵人相助，成功唾手可得。
附英文原文：
68 Bits of Unsolicited Advice
It’s my birthday. I’m 68. I feel like pulling up a rocking chair and dispensing advice to the young ‘uns. Here are 68 pithy bits of unsolicited advice which I offer as my birthday present to all of you.
Learn how to learn from those you disagree with, or even offend you. See if you can find the truth in what they believe.
Being enthusiastic is worth 25 IQ points.
Always demand a deadline. A deadline weeds out the extraneous and the ordinary. It prevents you from trying to make it perfect, so you have to make it different. Different is better.
Don’t be afraid to ask a question that may sound stupid because 99% of the time everyone else is thinking of the same question and is too embarrassed to ask it.
Being able to listen well is a superpower. While listening to someone you love keep asking them “Is there more?”, until there is no more.
A worthy goal for a year is to learn enough about a subject so that you can’t believe how ignorant you were a year earlier.
Gratitude will unlock all other virtues and is something you can get better at.
Treating a person to a meal never fails, and is so easy to do. It’s powerful with old friends and a great way to make new friends.
Don’t trust all-purpose glue.
Reading to your children regularly will bond you together and kickstart their imaginations.
Never use a credit card for credit. The only kind of credit, or debt, that is acceptable is debt to acquire something whose exchange value is extremely likely to increase, like in a home. The exchange value of most things diminishes or vanishes the moment you purchase them. Don’t be in debt to losers.
Pros are just amateurs who know how to gracefully recover from their mistakes.
Extraordinary claims should require extraordinary evidence to be believed.
Don’t be the smartest person in the room. Hangout with, and learn from, people smarter than yourself. Even better, find smart people who will disagree with you.
Rule of 3 in conversation. To get to the real reason, ask a person to go deeper than what they just said. Then again, and once more. The third time’s answer is close to the truth.
Don’t be the best. Be the only.
Everyone is shy. Other people are waiting for you to introduce yourself to them, they are waiting for you to send them an email, they are waiting for you to ask them on a date. Go ahead.
Don’t take it personally when someone turns you down. Assume they are like you: busy, occupied, distracted. Try again later. It’s amazing how often a second try works.
The purpose of a habit is to remove that action from self-negotiation. You no longer expend energy deciding whether to do it. You just do it. Good habits can range from telling the truth, to flossing.
Promptness is a sign of respect.
When you are young spend at least 6 months to one year living as poor as you can, owning as little as you possibly can, eating beans and rice in a tiny room or tent, to experience what your “worst” lifestyle might be. That way any time you have to risk something in the future you won’t be afraid of the worst case scenario.
Trust me: There is no “them”.
The more you are interested in others, the more interesting they find you. To be interesting, be interested.
Optimize your generosity. No one on their deathbed has ever regretted giving too much away.
To make something good, just do it. To make something great, just re-do it, re-do it, re-do it. The secret to making fine things is in remaking them.
The Golden Rule will never fail you. It is the foundation of all other virtues.
If you are looking for something in your house, and you finally find it, when you’re done with it, don’t put it back where you found it. Put it back where you first looked for it.
Saving money and investing money are both good habits. Small amounts of money invested regularly for many decades without deliberation is one path to wealth.
To make mistakes is human. To own your mistakes is divine. Nothing elevates a person higher than quickly admitting and taking personal responsibility for the mistakes you make and then fixing them fairly. If you mess up, fess up. It’s astounding how powerful this ownership is.
Never get involved in a land war in Asia.
You can obsess about serving your customers/audience/clients, or you can obsess about beating the competition. Both work, but of the two, obsessing about your customers will take you further.
Show up. Keep showing up. Somebody successful said: 99% of success is just showing up.
Separate the processes of creation from improving. You can’t write and edit, or sculpt and polish, or make and analyze at the same time. If you do, the editor stops the creator. While you invent, don’t select. While you sketch, don’t inspect. While you write the first draft, don’t reflect. At the start, the creator mind must be unleashed from judgement.
If you are not falling down occasionally, you are just coasting.
Perhaps the most counter-intuitive truth of the universe is that the more you give to others, the more you’ll get. Understanding this is the beginning of wisdom.
Friends are better than money. Almost anything money can do, friends can do better. In so many ways a friend with a boat is better than owning a boat.
This is true: It’s hard to cheat an honest man.
When an object is lost, 95% of the time it is hiding within arm’s reach of where it was last seen. Search in all possible locations in that radius and you’ll find it.
You are what you do. Not what you say, not what you believe, not how you vote, but what you spend your time on.
If you lose or forget to bring a cable, adapter or charger, check with your hotel. Most hotels now have a drawer full of cables, adapters and chargers others have left behind, and probably have the one you are missing. You can often claim it after borrowing it.
Hatred is a curse that does not affect the hated. It only poisons the hater. Release a grudge as if it was a poison.
There is no limit on better. Talent is distributed unfairly, but there is no limit on how much we can improve what we start with.
Be prepared: When you are 90% done any large project (a house, a film, an event, an app) the rest of the myriad details will take a second 90% to complete.
When you die you take absolutely nothing with you except your reputation.
Before you are old, attend as many funerals as you can bear, and listen. Nobody talks about the departed’s achievements. The only thing people will remember is what kind of person you were while you were achieving.
For every dollar you spend purchasing something substantial, expect to pay a dollar in repairs, maintenance, or disposal by the end of its life.
Anything real begins with the fiction of what could be. Imagination is therefore the most potent force in the universe, and a skill you can get better at. It’s the one skill in life that benefits from ignoring what everyone else knows.
When crisis and disaster strike, don’t waste them. No problems, no progress.
On vacation go to the most remote place on your itinerary first, bypassing the cities. You’ll maximize the shock of otherness in the remote, and then later you’ll welcome the familiar comforts of a city on the way back.
When you get an invitation to do something in the future, ask yourself: would you accept this if it was scheduled for tomorrow? Not too many promises will pass that immediacy filter.
Don’t say anything about someone in email you would not be comfortable saying to them directly, because eventually theywillread it.
If you desperately need a job, you are just another problem for a boss; if you can solve many of the problems the boss has right now, you are hired. To be hired, think like your boss.
Art is in what you leave out.
Acquiring things will rarely bring you deep satisfaction. But acquiring experiences will.
Rule of 7 in research. You can find out anything if you are willing to go seven levels. If the first source you ask doesn’t know, ask them who you should ask next, and so on down the line. If you are willing to go to the 7th source, you’ll almost always get your answer.
How to apologize: Quickly, specifically, sincerely.
Don’t ever respond to a solicitation or a proposal on the phone. The urgency is a disguise.
When someone is nasty, rude, hateful, or mean with you, pretend they have a disease. That makes it easier to have empathy toward them which can soften the conflict.
Eliminating clutter makes room for your true treasures.
You really don’t want to be famous. Read the biography of any famous person.
Experience is overrated. When hiring, hire for aptitude, train for skills. Most really amazing or great things are done by people doing them for the first time.
A vacation + a disaster = an adventure.
Buying tools: Start by buying the absolute cheapest tools you can find. Upgrade the ones you use a lot. If you wind up using some tool for a job, buy the very best you can afford.
Learn how to take a 20-minute power nap without embarrassment.
Following your bliss is a recipe for paralysis if you don’t know what you are passionate about. A better motto for most youth is “master something, anything”. Through mastery of one thing, you can drift towards extensions of that mastery that bring you more joy, and eventually discover where your bliss is.
I’m positive that in 100 years much of what I take to be true today will be proved to be wrong, maybe even embarrassingly wrong, and I try really hard to identify what it is that I am wrong about today.
Over the long term, the future is decided by optimists. To be an optimist you don’t have to ignore all the many problems we create; you just have to imagine improving our capacity to solve problems.
The universe is conspiring behind your back to make you a success. This will be much easier to do if you embrace this pronoia.
译者介绍：Alfred，业余译者，游走在科技与人文的岔路口。翻译作品多见于B座12楼、36氪、爱范儿、虎嗅等中文科技媒体。约稿请联系：Alfred__Lin（请注明来由）
-END-
合作、沟通请后台回复“合作”
我们正在组建B12社群
后台回复”社群“加入讨论
- 20200524 No.1951-
往日精华推荐
杭州创新周报5.22
网红向左，MCN向右：再无第二个李佳琦？
请回答1920:中国百年“造车梦”与浙商传奇
长三角芯片战争：十字路口的杭州
为什么这些创业公司都愿意扎堆到一个叫萧山的地方？
谢谢你为创新赞赏▽