Are Helicopter Parents Ruining a Generation?

When a child is learning to walk, that's the last time we allow ourselves to be overjoyed by the fact that they're trying and failing and trying again.
孩子剛學習走路時是我們家長最後一次因為看到孩子越挫越勇而感到開心。
Of course, it's hard to see them fall, but somehow, we know that this is an essential task for them to practice, practice, practice, and ultimately, perfect.
當然，看著他們一直跌倒很心疼，但我們多少知道這是個必經過程：不停地練習，直到完美。
Well, somehow, we've forgotten that every single other skill in life is acquired the same way.
然而，對於所有其他生命中的所需技能，我們卻忘了這些技能是以相同的方式習得的。
While I was Dean of Freshmen at Stanford University, we began referring to college students as "kids" or "children."
當我在史丹佛大學負責輔導新生時，我們開始將大學生稱作「孩子們」。
Those terms would not have been used in prior decades.
這是過去幾十年不會有的情形。
Too many students seemed to be lacking agency in their own lives, and I thought, "This is not good for them, and it's not good for all of us at a societal level either."
太多學生似乎在他們的人生中無法自力，而我當時想：「這對他們很不好，對整個社會而言也是如此。」
Initially, helicopter parenting appears to work.
一開始，直升機父母的管教似乎很有用。
As a kid, you're kept safe, you are given direction, you might get a better grade, because your parent is arguing with the teacher.
當你還小的時候，他們為你指引方向，你可能因為爸媽和老師爭執而拿到更高的成績。
But we parents end up getting in our kid's way.
但身為家長，我們這樣最後卻害了孩子。
We deprive the kid of the chance to show up in their own lives, take responsibility for things, be accountable for outcomes.
我們剝奪了孩子在自己生命中的自主性以及對事物和結果負責。
What we've got to do is teach our kids all of these things; whether it's cross the street, or make a meal on the stove, or remember to put your belongings in your backpack.
我們需要教孩子的是這些，無論是如何過馬路、用瓦斯爐煮飯、或是記得把東西放進書包裡。
There's a 4-step method for teaching kids skills.
教導孩子技能有個四步驟的方式。
Step one: you do it for them.
第一步：你幫他們做。
Step two: you do it with them.
第二步：你和他們一起做。
Step three: you watch them do it.
第三步：你看著他們做。
Step four: they can do it independently.
第四步：他們有能力自己做。
If we don't do this, we will have among us a young adult population that doesn't know how to “hashtag adult.”
如果我們不這麼做，我們周圍就會出現不會「＃自力自強」的青年。
It becomes a community problem.
這會是整個社群的問題。
It becomes a crisis in leadership.
領導會出現危機。
You have to ask who's going to run the schools?
你必須思考，將來誰來投入教育？
Who's going to run our nonprofits?
誰來經營非營利組織？
Who's going to run the government?
誰來執行政府職能？
Who's going to lead our families?
誰來領導家庭？
Kids have to be able to make their own mistakes growing up.
孩子在成長的過程中要有犯錯的機會。
Life is about having confidence that if you took the wrong path, you can get on the right path.
生命的意義是，相信做錯選擇，還是有機會轉向正途。
That if you fall down, you can get back up.
跌倒後可以再站起來。
The moment they learn to walk, they're walking away from us.
孩子學習如何走路的瞬間，他們就與我們漸行漸遠。
And it feels terrifying, but as paradoxical as it may sound, our job as parents is, like it or not, to put ourselves out of a job.
這是很讓人恐慌的，但雖然這似乎很矛盾，但父母的責任就是讓自己不再當父母，不管你喜不喜歡這樣。