Ugh, hey. |
唉 嘿 |
This reception is... |
这个信号真是 |
But the one thing I didn't know about college, |
但是对于大学我有一件事不明白 |
that I'd never admit to my dad or anybody else, |
这件事我没有告诉我爸爸和任何人 |
was that in all actuality, |
那就是事实上 |
I would soon discover that I didn't know anything. |
我很快就会发现其实我什么都不知道 |
Which was obvious because I was enrolled in a midnight class |
这很明显 因为我报了一门深夜课程 |
that no one in their right mind would ever want to be in. |
而任何脑子正常一点的人 都是不会报这门课的 |
And I especially didn't know that |
我也没想到 |
the same film my dad begged me to watch this weekend, |
我爸爸求我这周末和他一起看的那部电影 |
the same film that ignited our father-daughter bond, |
那部使我们的父女关系更亲密的那部电影 |
the film that taught me how to apply lipstick with my boobs, |
那部教我怎么用胸部涂口红的电影 |
would be way closer to my real life than I ever knew. |
会和我的现实生活如此接近 |
Good evening, everyone. |
大家晚上好 |
If you're here for the Digital Marketing Strategies class, |
如果你是来这里参加数字营销策略课程的 |
you've come to the correct place. |
那你真是来对地方了 |
If you're here to inquire about the listing for |
如果你是来认领 |
a mixed-breed litter of premature breech terrier puppies... |
这些流浪混种早产小狗崽的 |
You've also come to the correct place. |
那么你也来对地方了 |
I am Professor Dr. Charles Telphy. |
我是Charles Telphy教授 |
Okay, freeze. |
好 暂停 |
First of all, he's not a doctor, |
首先 他不是个博士 |
and the fact that he's a professor |
而他是一位教授的事实 |
totally blows my mind. |
冲击了我的认知 |
I knew Charlie as the weird guy my dad works with. |
我知道Charlie曾经是我爸爸的一个怪同事 |
All we got to do is plant some cocaine in her desk. |
我们要做的就是在她的桌子里放一些可卡因 |
I'm pregnant and I hate you! |
我怀孕了 我恨你 |
Okay. |
好吧 |
Somehow, he's managed to keep his day job |
不过 他竟然能一边做白天的工作 |
while teaching this class. |
一边坚持晚上讲课 |
As adjunct professor for the midnight-to-2:00-AM "After-night-school" Program, |
作为从午夜到凌晨2点的"深夜学堂"项目的副教授 |
I welcome you to a unique, new educational frontier. |
我欢迎你们来到一个独特的 全新的教育前沿 |
Most of our jobs don't allow us to |
我们中大多数人的工作 |
go to school during normal hours. |
不支持我们在正常的日间时间上学 |
Whores. |
妓女 |
But the daylight belongs to the meek. |
但白昼属于温顺的人 |
The bold own the night. |
勇者主宰黑夜 |
And with it, the future. |
与此同时 拥有未来 |
We're just into tomorrow before anyone else. |
我们比任何人都要更早地进入明天 |
Do you hear that? |
听到了吗 |
That's tomorrow happening today. |
那是明天和今天重合的声音 |
Now, this syllabus right here |
现在 教学大纲就在这 |
is gonna break down the entire course |
它把我们的全部课程分解为几部分 |
starting with week one... drones. |
从第一周开始 无人机 |
Week two, drones from the past. |
第二周 过去的无人机 |
完整版请点击 |
|
Week three, drones of the future. |
第三周 未来的无人机 |
Basically, this will be an all-drones class. |
基本上 这就是一门讲无人机的课程 |
Why? Cause they arose me. |
为什么 因为它们引起了我的兴趣 |
So, just like "The Breakfast Club," |
所以 就像早餐俱乐部一样 |
these six losers who I normally never would have even spoken to, |
这六个我正常情况下根本不会接触的社会失败人士 |
would not only become my friends, |
不仅仅会成为我的朋友 |
but some of the closest people to me in my life. |
还会成为我生命中最亲密的人 |
Like Nomi... she's my boo. |
像Nomi 她是我的闺蜜 |
What the fuck are you looking at? |
你他妈在瞅啥呢 |
But it didn't exactly start off that way. |
但一开始并不是这样的 |
See, Nomi wasn't your typical Jewish-American princess. |
Nomi不是典型的犹太裔美国公主 |
In fact, she wasn't your typical anything. |
事实上 她不是任何典型的女孩 |
She liked Rottweilers |
她喜欢罗威纳犬 |
and moshing at Swedish death-metal concerts. |
参加瑞典的死亡金属音乐会 |
She was a liberated woman |
她是个寻求解放的女性 |
who didn't conform to the boundaries or laws |
不屈服于界限和法律 |
that her family, society, |
她的家庭 社会 |
or 49 of the 50 states deemed acceptable. |
或者50个州中49个州都接受的事情 |
And then there were these two. |
然后是这两位 |
Hey, I'm Jazlyn! She's Skyler. |
嘿 我是Jazlyn 她是Skyler |
Are you guys... |
你们两个 |
- Twins? - Totally. |
- 是双胞胎吗- 当然 |
B.T. Dubs, your hair is everything. |
B.T. Dubs 你的头发真是美的不可方物 |
Despite their Simi Valley accent, |
除去她们的西米谷市的口音 |
the twins from Tyler Perry's "The Shining" |
这对从Tyler Perry的"The Shining"中出道的双胞胎 |
were actually from the hood. |
其实来自街区 |
They were also Cal U's hottest track recruits, |
她们还是宾州加利福尼亚大学最火的田径特长生 |
which meant they were judged about everything, |
这意味着她们的一切都会被人们指指点点 |
just like the young, Black, female athletes |
就像其他年轻的黑人女运动员一样 |
who came before them were scrutinized about their speed, their bodies, even their edges. |
她们的速度 身体 甚至样貌都被吹毛求疵地观察 |
But America's darlings were a far cry from this guy, |
但是美国的宠儿们和剩下的这位大相径庭 |
who had a different opinion about America. |
他对美国有完全不同的想法 |
This one's "Black Lives Matter," I got "I Can't Breathe," |
这个写着"黑人的命很重要" 还有一个"我不能呼吸了" |
"Michelle 2020," "Justice for Kalief Browder," |
"米歇尔2020""为Kalief Browder寻求正义" |
and "Free Assata Shakur." |
还有"还Assata Shakur自由" |
Oh, and what's the bracelet for? |
哦 那手环是做什么用的 |
Um, that just... |
呃 这个只是 |
lets the EMTs know that I have a peanut allergy. |
让急诊医生知道我对花生过敏 |
Aaron and I met during freshman orientation. |
我和Aaron是在新生入学培训时认识的 |
He was a super-hot sophomore with a bunch of forearm tattoos |
他是一个很火辣的二年级生 小臂上有一堆纹身 |
who somehow, against all odds, made a ducktail work. |
而且不知为何 居然撑起了鸭尾辫的发型 |
Seriously, that should not work, right? |
说实在的 本应是不好看的 对吧 |
But questionable hair choices aside, |
但是撇去他奇怪的的发型取向 |
he had big plans to change the world. |
他其实有改变世界的伟大计划 |
Um, BSU's protesting the fact that Cal U |
鲍尔州立大学抗议宾州加利福尼亚大学 |
is changing the blackboards to whiteboards. |
把黑板替换成白板 |
Why would they do that? |
他们为什么要这样 |
Here we go. |
大家传一下 |
This dude. |
这位朋友 |
Uh, is, uh, something funny, bro? |
有什么好笑的事吗 |
Nah, we get it. |
啊 我们明白了 |
You're, um, "Woke." |
你是 "觉醒的" |
Baby Basquiat over here is Luca, |
这位年轻版Basquiat叫Luca |
the only freshman fly enough to rock the same skirt as me |
是唯一一个潮到能和我驾驭同一套裙子的新生 |
and make me think about changing. |
甚至一度让我想改变时尚风格 |
But not everyone was a fan. |
即使这样 他也不是人见人爱 |