Writing Day 13 20190602 gu_writing
全文翻译8：传统教育和网络教育
题目：Nowadays,distance-learning programs have gained in popularity(those teaching programmes that involve the use of written materials, videos, televised lessons and the Internet ),but some people argue that course can never be taken as good as those by attending a college or university in person.To what extend do you agree or disagree?
自学步骤一：阅读题目后，写出三个观点：
原因：
自学步骤二：翻译句子：先想词伙，在想句型，然后写句子。
自学步骤三：检查自己的翻译：先看正确的句子的词伙和句子结构，然后看错误的句子，看是否能够发现问题。
介绍段：
| 句子作用 | 中文 | 我写的 | 答案句 | 错误纠正 | 错误类型 |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 背景句， | 1.因特网的到来已经改变了人们工作和生活的方式 | |
The advent of the Internet has changed the ways people live their lives and complete work. | The advent of...,the ways people live their lives and complete work. | 词伙，地道表达 |
| 改写题目 | 2.越来越多的人现在考虑远程教育，这种教育系统可以让他们在家里完成一个学位。 | There are |
A growing number of people are now considering distance education,which allows them to complete a degree at home. | a increasing number of people,allows them to...，are now considering...，distance education,泛指所有的远程教育。 | 时态词的巧用，词伙固定搭配 |
| 阐述立场 | 3.尽管远程教育有别于传统大学教育，远程教育在某些方面是有优势的。 | I think that |
Even though distance education is different from traditional college education,distance learning has some advantages in some aspects. | distance learning,traditional college education,不可数，泛指 | 定冠词，词伙， |
主题部分第一段：
| 句子作用 | 中文 | 我写的 | 答案句 | 错误纠正 | 错误类型 |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 中心句(科技发展) | 4.与传统教育相比，远程教育更加灵活，从而使更多的人接受教育成为可能。 | |
Distance education is more flexible than the traditional way of receiving education,thereby offering learners more educational opportunities. | In contrast to...,in contrast/by contrast,thereby,adv. 从而，因此；在那附近；在那方面,offer sb sth, | 逻辑衔接词，词伙 |
| 解释 | 5.学生需要阅读有关的材料，也可以看视频上课。6.当他们有问题的时候，可以按暂停，回放课程，直到他们完全理解内容。 | Students need to read relevant materials or watch videos to learn.They can |
Students can read relevant materials and attend lectures by watching videos.When they have problems in digesting information,they can click the pause button and replay video until fully understand the content. | ，review，vt. 回顾；检查；复审，书本资料的回顾，fully,副词的使用，any 用疑问句和否定句。attend lectures,click the pause button,replay,replay video,固定搭配（这里video,不可数）（表示录像带可数），contents,可数 | 词伙，单词的地道使用，名词单复数， |
| 扩展 | 7.这些远程教育课程每天24小时，每星期7天都开饭，因此对于那些生活方式很忙的人非常理想，只要他们可以上网。 | These |
These distance education courses are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week,and therefore suitable for those who lead a hectic life,as long as they have Internet access. | distant，adj,adj. 遥远的；冷漠的；远隔的；不友好的，冷淡的,therefore,adv. 因此；所以,hectic,adj. 紧张忙碌的；肺病的；脸上发红的；狂热的,as long ,conj | 词伙，地道搭配。 |
主题部分第二段：
| 句子作用 | 中文 | 我的 | 答案 | 改正 | 错误类型 |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 中心句(学习能力) | 8.远程教育的发展也允许学生和讲师之间有互动的机会。 | |
The improvements in online education also make it possible for students to communicate with their lecturers whenever necessary. | the improvements in,在什么方面的改进，the improvements of ，属于什么的改进，make it possible for....,lecturers, | 单词的习惯搭配， |
| 解释 | 9.学生可以在虚拟的课堂里使用互动工具问问题，也可以发电子邮件 | Students can use some |
Students can use interactive communication tools to ask questions in virtual classes or talk to lectures via email. | interactive communication tools,in virtual classes,via email,or,conj. 或，或者；还是；要不然 | 词伙,定冠词， |
| 结果 | 10.这样一来，他们可以得到讲师的指导，更好的完成所有的课程。 | 10.In this case,they can better get guidance and accomplish all |
In this way,these learners can get lectures' guidance immediately,thereby completing all courses more effectively. | in this case,既然这样，假若这样,副词的使用，in this way,这样；用这种方法，[classes](javascript:;) 课程级别学习班开班 | 词伙的使用， |
| 扩展 | 11.有时候，他们甚至可以和世界知名的学者交流，尽管他们身在自己的国家。 | Sometimes, they even |
Despite living in their own countries,they can even communicate with scholars from top universities around the world. | could 一般表示不确定性的一种可能性，[CONJ ](javascript:;)You use while, before making a statement, in order to introduce information that partly conflicts with your statement. 虽然 (用于发表陈述之前，引入和陈述内容部分矛盾的信息)• While the news, so far, has been good, there may be days ahead when it is bad.[CONJ ](javascript:;)You use while at the beginning of a clause to introduce information that contrasts with information in the main clause. 而 (用于从句之首，引出与主句内容相对比的信息),communicate with, | 词伙搭配 |
主体部分第三段：
| 句子作用 | 中文 | 我的 | 答案 | 改正 | 错误类型 |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 观点（社会发展） | 12，远程教育的一个主要缺陷是学生的交流技能也不能够提高，因为远程教育一般没有小组作业。 | One of the main disadvantages of distance-learning is that students' communication skills can not be developed,because it lacks group's assignments. | A main drawback of online education is that students have found it difficult to improve their social skills because there are few group assignments. | drawback,disadvantages,词伙多样性， | 词伙，语境 |
| 结果 | 13.学生独立完成学业，很难认识其它同学。 | Students complete learning tasks alone, which makes them hard to know other students. | Students complete their degree independently and do not have opportunities to meet each other and socialise together. | socialise,vi. 参加社交活动；发生社交往来,vt. 使社会化；使社会主义化,independently, | 词汇高级使用 |
| 扩展结果 | 14.他们没有机会扩展人脉，这对于他们职业发展有影响。 | They do not have any opportunities to extend their social network, |
They do not have opportunities to build up a network of contacts,which can have a negative impact on their career development. | which is blocking their career perspectives, | c词伙 |
结论段：
| 句子作用 | 中文 | 我的 | 答案 | 改正 | 错误类型 |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 再次表明立场 | 15.远程教育让大学教育更普及，因为其灵活性。 | |
Distance learning has made university education more accessible,because of its flexibility. | distance education,accessible,because of,its flexibility, | 词伙高级使用 |
| 总结观点 | 16.然而，它也有一些缺点，如，缺乏运动，所以它不能够像传统大学教育那样产生同等的学习效果。 | Nevertheless, it has some disadvantages , |
However,it has some drawbacks,such as lack of interaction,so it is not able to achieve the same learning outcomes as traditional college education. | impact,一般指不好的影响，have a negative impact on...,lack of sth, 这里lack 做名词， | 词伙，地道表达 |
自学步骤四：整体学习和检查范文，看看是否符合TELCCS原则。
Task-oriented：每句话要注意扣题，尽量出现 题目的关键词。
Extension：句子要懂得扩展，在简单的想法上增加信息，使句子变得丰富。
Linking devices：句子链接要精密，连接方法灵活有变化，前后句子要保持很好的逻辑。
Consistency ：每个句子要和中心句保持一致，和前面一句话论述保持逻辑一致。
Collocations：用词要尽量使用词伙，尊重单词的搭配习惯。
Syntax：句子结构要准确，变化要合理恰当。
The advent of the Internet has changed the ways people live their lives and complete work.A growing number of people are now considering distance education,which allows them to complete a degree at home.Even though distance learning is different form traditional college education,distance learning has some advantages in some aspects.
可以用代词，避免和前面表达重复。
文章不是问远程教育的好处和坏处，而是问是否和传统上大学的效果一样。
Distance education is more flexible than the traditional way of receiving education, thereby offering learners more educational opportunities.Students can read relevant materials and attend lectures by watching videos.When they have problems in digesting information,they can click the pause button and replay the video until they fully understand the content.These distance education course are available 24 hours a day,7 days a week, and therefore suitable for those who lead a hectic life,as long as they have Internet access.
这是distance education 的优点，并没有回答是否和传统大学一样，这样会影响TR 的分数。
这里可以具体化，增加细节，提升TR 的分数。
这个句子说的是远程教育的好处，并不能体现是否和传统大学的效果一样，所以不恰当，去掉。
The improvements in online education education also make it possible for students to communicate with their lecturers whenever necessary.Students can use interactive communication tools to ask questions in virtual classes or get lecturers via email.In this way,these learners can get lectures' guidance immediately,thereby completing all courses more effectively.Despite living in their own countries,they can even communicate with scholars from top universities around the world.
A main drawback of online education is that students have found it difficult to improve their social skills because there are few group assignments.Students complete their degree independently and do not have opportunities to meet each other and socialise together.They do not have opportunities to build up a network of contacts, which can have a negative impact on their career development.
这也是distance educaiton 的缺点，并没有回答是否和传统大学一样。
这个定语从句有点歧义，不知道修饰整个句子还是先行词，影响GRA的分数。
Distance learning has made university education more accessible,because of its flexibility.However,it has some drawbacks,such as lack of interaction,so it is not able to achieve the same learning outcomes as traditional college education.
结尾没有对应题目。
粗线是词伙，横线是不同
提升范文：
The advent of the Internet has changed the ways people live their lives and complete work.A growing number of people are now considering distance education,which allows them to complete a degree at home.Although distance learning differs from traditional college education in some aspects,learners will possibly find that they can gain as much knowledge from an online course as they do at university.
In distance learning programmes,students can access the same content of degree courses as those who attend lectures in person.They can read relevant materials,such as textbooks and class notes, and attend video lessons,which are recorded lectures of reputable professors.When they have problems in comprehending some key concepts,they can click the pause button and replay the video until they fully digest information.
The improvements in online education also make it' possible for students to communicate with their lectures whenever necessary.Students can use interactive communication tools to ask questions in virtual classes or talk to lectures via email. In this way,these learners can get lectures' guidance immediately, thereby completing all courses more effectively.This is exactly the same as the interaction with professors in lecture rooms.Despite living in their own countries,students can even communicate with scholars from top universities around the world.
While distance education has clear advantages,it may not offer participants the same networking experience they can get in a bricks and mortar college.Students complete their degree independently and do not have opportunities to meet each other and socialise together.They can have a negative impact on their career development in view of the importance of building up a network of contacts.In contrast,those who study at university can do a wide range of activities on campus such as playing sport and joining clubs,which can help them build close relationships.
In conclusion,interactive technology has enabled learners to communicate with lectures easily and gain qualifications,so I believe that distance education is now as good as traditional ways of completing a degree at university.