英文 | 中文 |
---|---|
Cynthia... Cynthia | |
Oh, My God. No. No. | 噢 天哪 不要啊 |
- I told you. - Hold on. | - 都跟你说了- 等等 |
Will you please... | 你能不能 |
Not marry me? I chose Veronica | 不要嫁给我 我选Veronica |
- What?! - Yes! - Hold it. | - 搞什么- 太好了- 淡定 |
Why would he chose Veronica? | 他干嘛选Veronica |
Because he loves her? | 因为他爱她 |
Well, if it's any consolation, Summer, | 不知道这么说能不能让你好受点 Summer |
none of it mattered and the entire show was stupid. | 你管他为啥呢 这节目就是个渣 |
Okay, I've got an idea, Rick. | 好啊 Rick 不如这样 |
You show us your concept of good TV | 你来让我们看看什么节目好看 |
and we'll crap all over that. | 我们来吐槽 |
Thought you'd never ask. | 就等着你问呢 |
Hey! | 嘿 |
Oh, cool. | 噢 酷 |
Is that Crystallized Xanthanite? | 这是晶化Xanthanite吧 |
It conducts electrons across dimensions. | 它可以在次元之间传导电子 |
20% accurate as usual, Morty. | 你又只说对了20% Morty |
The important thing being, | 重点是 |
I just upgraded our cable package with | 我升级了我们的有线电视套餐 |
programing from every conceivable reality. | 它现在能收到所有可能的平行现实的电视节目 |
Wait. Does that mean we get Showtime Extreme? | 那我们是不是能收到Showtime Extreme了 |
How about Showtime Extreme in a world where man evolved from corn? | 玉米人世界的Showtime Extreme如何 |
We're not so different. | 我们没什么不同 |
We're both corn of action. | 我们都是行动派玉米 |
Yeah, but one of us is dead corn! | 对 但我们其中一个是死玉米 |
Boring. | 无聊 |
Summer, you just spent three months | Summer 你刚花了三个月 |
Watching a man chose a fake wife. | 看一个男人怎么选假老婆 |
So, what, it'd be better if the people were corn? | 那又怎样 变成玉米人就好看了 |
Jerry, you don't get it. | Jerry 你没明白 |
完整版请点击 | |
This is infinite TV from infinite universes. | 这是来自无限宇宙的无限电视节目 |
Look. | 瞧瞧 |
This shit is delicious. | 这屎真好吃 |
A movie about a guy eating shit. | 一部关于吃屎的电影 |
A violent antique show. | 暴力古董秀 |
It's a pleasure to have you. | 很荣幸能邀请到你 |
The pleasure's all mine. | 荣幸的是我 |
Letterman from a timeline where Jerry's famous. | 某时空里出名的Jerry出现在"Letterman"节目中 |
- Wait! - What in the hell? | - 等一下- 搞什么 |
I agree. Where is this going? | 我同意 这是要闹哪样 |
No, the other thing! Go back. | 不 不是这个 换回去 |
Really? All right, fine. | 真的假的 好吧 |
Glen, this is a court order. | Glen 这是法院命令 |
It says you can't eat shit any more. | 你以后都不许吃屎了 |
All right, Jerry. | 好吧 Jerry |
When you're right, you're right. | 难得你说对一回嘛 |
Now I'm hooked. | 这电影确实好看 |
Coming up next on "Shmloo's the shmloss," | 接下来是"屎木的屎木拉" |
Shmlony has a nightmare. | 屎木尼做了个噩梦 |
Shamlantha! Shmlona! | 屎木曼莎 屎木娜 |
Amazing | 真神奇 |
A dimension where all proper nouns begin with "Shmla." | 这个次元所有的专有名词开头都是"屎木" |
ShmlaShmalangela? | 屎木拉 屎木安吉拉 |
Shmlonathan? | 屎木纳森 |
All right, that actually got old pretty quick. | 好吧 一下子就看烦了 |
Rick, will you please go back to me on "David Letterman"? | Rick 你能不能调回去接着看我上"David Letterman" |
Infinity's big number, Jerry. | 无限的电视台有点多啊 Jerry |
I don't remember the channel. | 我记不清是哪个台了 |
Ah! Go back! Go back! | 噢 刚才那个台 往回调 |
Geez. | 天啊 |
You speak the true-true. | 你说的是真真 |
Oh, my god. Dad"s in "Cloud Atlas"! | 天啊 老爸 你出演了《云图》 |
I'm in "Cloud Atlas"! | 我出演了《云图》 |
What's "Cloud Atlas"? | 《云图》是啥 |
Sometimes, small true-true | 有时候小真真 |
Different than the big true-true. | 不同于大真真 |
How is this possible? | 这怎么可能 |
Infinite timelines, infinite possibilities, | 无限种时空就会有无限种可能 |
Including a timeline where jerry's a movie star. | 自然会有某个时空Jerry是电影明星 |
Look, you guys are getting excited about | 你们简直瞎激动 |
the wrong aspect to this device. | 完全不明白这个装置意义何在 |
Wha-look at this. | 看这个 |
And now, another quick mystery. | 新一集"快快悬疑案" |
I just want to know who could have done something like this. | 我只想知道 是谁能干出这种事 |
It's a travesty. | 简直是人性的扭曲 |
I did. | 是我干的 |
See this knife and all the blood on it? | 这是一把带血的刀 |
Here's my fingerprints. | 这是我的指纹 |
Guilty. I sentence you to life in prison. | 有罪 判处你无期徒刑 |
Here's another quick mystery. | 下一个"快速悬疑案" |
My mother's dead. | 我母亲死了 |
And I killed her. | 我杀了她 |
Here's the weapon, and cuff me. Thank you very much. | 这是凶器 请把我铐起来 谢谢 |
Guilty. Sentenced to murder. | 有罪 杀人偿命 |
- Here's another. - I'm the killer. | - 下一个- 我是凶手 |
Oh, wow, that one was really quick, wasn't it? | 噢 还真是够快的 |
Now, who wants to watch random, | 谁现在想看 |
crazy TV shows from different dimensions, | 不同次元随机的奇葩电视节目 |
and, and then who wants to narcissistically obsess about | 哪些自恋狂想看 |
their alternate selves? | 另一次元的自己 |
I want to obsess about myself. | 我想看自己 |
Here, these scan your retinas and let you | 这个装置能通过扫描视网膜 |
view parallel timelines through genetically | 让你亲眼看到另一个 |
matching versions of your eyes. | 平行宇宙的自己看到的东西 |
Go fetch. | 去捡吧 |
- This is so cool. - Ladies first. | - 太酷了- 女士优先 |
I'm proud of you, Morty. | Morty 我为你骄傲 |
Hey, man. I don't give a crap about myself, Rick | 我才不关心我自己呢 |
Let's watch some crazy stuff, yo. | 咱快看些猎奇的东西吧 |
I'm ants in my eyes Johnson, | 我是"满眼蚂蚁"Johnson |
Here at ants in my eyes Johnson's electronics. | 这里是"满眼蚂蚁"Johnson电器城 |
I mean, there's many ants in my eyes. | 我的眼睛上有好多蚂蚁啊 |
完整版请点击 | |
And there's so many TVs, | 这里有好多电视机 |
microwaves, radios, I think. | 微波炉 收音机 应该吧 |
I can't -- I'm not 100% sure | 我不 我不能百分百确定 |
what we have here in stock | 这里都有什么 |
Because I can't see any thing. | 因为我啥也看不见 |
Our prices, I hope, aren't too low. | 我只希望我们的价格不要太低 |
Check out this refrigerator, | 瞧瞧这个冰箱 |
Only $200. | 仅售两百块 |
What about this microwave? | 再瞧瞧这个微波炉 |
Only $100. That's fair. | 只要一百块 物美价廉 |
I'm ants in my eyes Johnson. | 我是"满眼蚂蚁"Johnson |
Everything's black. | 我的眼前漆黑一片 |
I can't see a thing. | 什么都看不见 |
And also, I can't feel anything, either. | 而且我什么都感觉不到 |
Did I mention that? | 我有提到过没 |
But that's not as catchy as having ants in your eyes, | 但这点不像我满眼蚂蚁这点那么引人注目 |
so that always goes... you know, off by the wayside. | 这样走在街边上总是怪怪的 |
I can't feel. It's a very rare disease. | 我没有知觉 这种病很罕见的 |
All my, all my nerves, | 我所有的神经 |
They don't allow for the sensation of touch, | 都没有触觉 |
So I never know what's going on. | 我从来都不知道发生了啥 |
Am I standing, sitting? I don't know. | 我这是站着呢 坐着呢 不知道啊 |
Are we sure we want to do this? | 我们真的要做这事儿吗 |
Look at our own alternate lives? | 看看自己的另一种人生 |
You're right. Maybe we should just play Yahtzee. | 对啊 咱们还是玩快艇骰子好了 |
Give me those. | 快给我 |
What do you see? | 看到什么了 |
Whiteness | 白色 |
pure whiteness. | 纯白色 |
You're my best friend, Jerry Smith. | 你是我最好的朋友 Jerry Smith |
I love doing cocaine with you. | 我喜欢和你一起吸可卡因 |
Whoa, I love doing cocaine with you too, johnny Depp. | 哇 我也喜欢和你一起吸可卡因 约翰尼迪普 |
Haven't we spent enough time on you? | 你还没看够吗 |
I'm performing surgery…but not | 我正在做手术 但是 |
On a horse - on a human. | 不是给马 是给人做 |
That's great, Beth. | 太好了 Beth |
You always wanted to be a real surgeon. | 你一直想当个真正的外科医生 |
I am a real surgeon. | 我就是真正的外科医生 |
Um... Summer's turn. | 呃 到你了 Summer |
Finally. | 终于到我了 |
I don't see anything. | 什么都看不到 |
Well, you should select different timeline. | 你换一个时空试试 |
I mean, if your father and I achieved our dreams, | 如果这个世界里我和你爸爸都实现了自己的梦 |
There's a chance you aren't even born. | 那就说明你有可能根本就没有出生 |
That came out wrong. That came out very wrong. | 我说出来就后悔了 |
Fine. | 很好 |
I'll find a world where you bothered to have me. | 我换一个你们不嫌我多余的时空 |
We're playing Yahtzee. | 我们在玩快艇骰子 |
Yahtzee's fun. We love Yahzee. | 快艇骰子好 我们都爱玩快艇骰子 |
It's a fun game for fun families. | 好家庭玩好游戏 |
Hey, could I get those goggles back for a second? | 嗨 把眼镜再给我玩会儿 |
It's a 45 horsepower with antilock brakes, | 这台车具有功率为45马力的引擎和防抱死刹车系统 |
And it's the official car of "Mr. Sneezy 3D". | 并且是"喷嚏先生3D版"的官方用车 |
It's the brand new sneezy XL. | 它是全新的喷嚏第40代产品 |
The horn, when you honk it, | 当你按下喇叭的时候 |
Makes a sneeze noise. | 会发出打喷嚏的声音 |
It's polite, it's right, | 它文雅 恰到好处 |
and it's sneezy, dezzy, Mc…deluxe. | 它很喷嚏 很华丽 Mc 奢华(似乎是押韵接不下去了) |
I'm Mr. Sneezy. | 我是喷嚏先生 |
Huh, seems like TV from other dimensions has a somewhat looser feel to it. | 貌似其他次元的电视感觉稍微随意一点 |
Yeah, it's got an almost improvisational tone. | 没错 这几乎是即兴表演的口气 |
It's in theaters now. | 各院线正在热播的电影 |
Coming this summer. | 今夏即将上映 |
Two brothers in a van, | 货车中的两兄弟 |
and then a meteor hits. | 遭遇流星撞击 |
And they ran as fast as they could | 于是他们拼命想要摆脱 |
from giant cat monsters. | 巨猫怪的威胁 |
And then a giant tornado came. | 然后巨型龙卷风侵袭 |
And that's when things got knocked into 12th gear. | 就在这时 事态发展到了十二档 |
A Mexican armada shows up, | 一个墨西哥舰队出现了 |
With weapons made from t-tomatoes. | 装备着番 番茄制成的武器 |
And you better bet your bottom dollar | 你最好赌上全部家当 |
that these two brothers know how to handle business in | 相信两兄弟有办法应对这 |
"alien invasion tomato monster Mexican armada brothers," | "外星人入侵番茄怪兽墨西哥舰队 |
"who are just regular brothers, running in a van from an asteroid and all sort of things: The movie." | 驾货车躲避流星和各种东西的普通兄弟 大电影" |
Hold on. There's more. | 等等 还不止这些 |
Old women are coming, and they're also in the movie. | 一些老女人也将要在电影中现身 |
And they're gonna come and cross attack these two brothers. | 他们将交叉进攻这两兄弟 |
But let's get back to the brothers, | 但让我们回到两兄弟 |
because they're...they have a strong bond. | 因为他们是 他们兄弟齐心 |
You don't want to know about it here, | 你现在还不想知道 |
but I'll tell you one thing. | 但我要告诉你一件事 |
The moon. It comes crashing into earth. | 月亮 它撞向了地球 |
And what do you do then? | 如果是你你要怎么办 |
It's two brothers and-and they're gonna... | 这就是两兄弟 而且他们将要 |
it's called "two brothers". | 这部电影叫做"两兄弟" |
"two brothers" | "两兄弟" |
It's just called "two brothers." | 就叫"两兄弟" |
Holy crap. | 妈呀 |
I am winning a Nobel Prize. | 我得诺贝尔奖了 |
Come on. Time's up. | 好了 时间到了 |
I'm taming a lion. | 我在驯狮子 |
No, wait. | 不 等等 |
There are film cameras. | 有摄像机 |
I might be a lion tamer in a movie. | 我可能是在电影里演个驯狮员 |
You get the idea. I work with lions. | 懂我意思就行了 我和狮子一起工作 |
Ohh, we're not playing yahtzee. | 我们没在玩快艇骰子 |
We're playing chutes and ladders. | 我们在玩滑道和梯子 |
Seems like when I exist, | 好像我存在的时候 |
life gets a little more...I don't know...predictable? | 生活就变得更 我也不知道 有规律可循了 |
When two people create a life together, | 当两个人共同创造了另一个生命的时候 |
they set aside their previous lives as individuals. | 他们就会把以前作为独立个体的生活放在一边 |
Give me a break. | 得了吧 |
We're not heroes for having unprotected sex on prom night. | 说得这么冠冕堂皇 我们只是毕业舞会晚上没做保护措施上床了 |
Oh, I get it. | 哦 我懂了 |
Now that you know you could have had it better, | 因为你知道你本可以过得更好 |
you resent me for holding you back. | 所以你愤恨我拖了你的后腿 |
Well, now that we know you think the tables are turning, | 如果你觉得现在我们俩立场互换了 |
we know you thought there were unturned tables. | 那就是变相承认 你以前觉得我拖累了你 |
What are you talking about? | 你究竟在说什么 |
All this time, you've been thinking, | 这么久以来 你都在想 |
"what if that loser, Jerry, hadn't talked me out of the abortion?" | "如果当初我没有因为Jerry那个屌丝而放弃堕胎会怎么样" |
- Um…- Well, now you know, you'd be a doctor. | - 呃- 现在你知道了 你会成为一个医生 |
You'd also be drinking wine alone in a house full of exotic birds. | 你还会在充满奇异禽鸟的房间里自斟自饮 |
And I'd be on dicaprio's yacht, | 而我将会在迪卡普里奥的游艇上 |
banging Kristen Stewart. | 和Kristen Stewart打炮 |
You thought about getting an abortion? | 你们居然想过堕胎 |
Everyone thinks about it. | 每个人都想过好么 |
Obviously, I'm the version of me that didn't do it, | 显而易见 这个版本的我没有堕胎 |
so you're welcome. | 所以不用谢 |
Yeah, you're welcome. | 没错 不谢 |
Yeah, thank you guys so much. | 真太谢谢你们了 |
It's real treat | 我真幸运 |
to be raised by parents | 能被逼不得已才在一起 |
that forced themselves to be together instead of being happy. | 而不是出于幸福结婚的父母养大 |
Hey, do we have any wafer cookies? | 嘿 我们还有威化饼干吗 |
Mmm! | 好吃 |
Oh, boy. | 哦 天啊 |
Looks like you guys have been checking out alternate lives | 看来你们看过了另一种生活方式 |
and realizing you don't have it as good, huh? | 然后发现自己过得不够好 是吗 |
That's too bad. | 太悲哀了 |
You know, me and Morty are having a blast. | 我和Morty玩得可开心了 |
We just discovered a show called "Ball fondlers". | 我们刚刚发现了一个叫"摸蛋人"的节目 |
I mean, I don't want to rub it in or anything, | 我不想哪壶不开提哪壶 |
but you guys clearly backed the wrong conceptual horse. | 但你们实在是压错宝了 |
I'm in heaven right now. | 我简直身在天堂 |
This might be the best day of my life. | 这可能是我这一生中最棒的一天了 |
So, now what do we do? | 那我们现在怎么办 |
That show "Ball Fondlers" sounded kind of interesting. | 那个叫"摸蛋人"的节目听起来挺有意思的 |
Dad! | 爸爸 |
What?! They're having fun in there. | 怎么了 他们那么开心 |
What do you guys want from me? | 你们想让我怎么办 |
Every family on this block | 这条街上的每家人 |
has to wonder if they're together by choice. | 都会想知道他们在一起是不是出于自愿 |
Our family just has interdimensional goggles | 但咱们家却有跨次元眼镜 |
to show us for a fact that we're not. | 来证明我们不是自愿的 |
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