TED演讲《what makes a good life? Lessons from the longest study on happiness》的演讲原文的中文翻译
原演讲视频
(Applause)What keeps us healthy and happy as we go through life? If you were going to invest now in your future best self, where would you put your time and your energy? There was a recent survey of millennials asking them what their most important life goals were, and over 80 percent said that a major life goal for them was to get rich. And another 50 percent of those same young adults said that another major life goal was to become famous. (Laughter) And we're constantly told to lean in to work, to push harder and achieve more. We're given the impression that these are the things that we need to go after in order to have a good life. Pictures of entire lives, of the choices that people make and how those choices work out for them, those pictures are almost impossible to get. Most of what we know about human life we know from asking people to remember the past, and as we know, hindsight is anything but 20/20. We forget vast amounts of what happens to us in life, and sometimes memory is downright creative.
(掌声)在我们的生活中，是什么让我们保持健康和快乐？如果你现在要投资于未来最好的自己，你会把你的时间和精力放在哪里？最近有一项针对千禧一代的调查，问他们最重要的人生目标是什么，超过80%的人说，他们的主要人生目标是致富。而另外50%的年轻人说，另一个主要的人生目标是成名。(笑声）而我们不断被告知要投入工作，要更加努力，取得更多成就。我们得到的印象是，这些是我们需要去追求的东西，以便有一个好的生活。想象整个生活，人们所做的选择以及这些选择如何为他们带来好处，这些想象几乎不可能得到。我们对人类生活的大部分了解都来自于要求人们回忆过去，而我们知道，事后诸葛亮没有什么用。我们忘记了生活中发生的大量的事情，有时记忆是彻头彻尾的创造性的东西。
But what if we could watch entire lives as they unfold through time? What if we could study people from the time that they were teenagers all the way into old age to see what really keeps people happy and healthy? We did that. The Harvard Study of Adult Development may be the longest study of adult life that's ever been done. For 75 years, we've tracked the lives of 724 men, year after year, asking about their work, their home lives, their health, and of course asking all along the way without knowing how their life stories were going to turn out.
但是，如果我们能够观察整个生命在时间中的发展，会怎么样？如果我们能够从人们的青少年时期一直研究到老年，看看什么能真正保持人们的快乐和健康呢？我们做到了。哈佛大学成人发展研究可能是有史以来对成人生活进行的最长的研究。75年来，我们年复一年地跟踪了724名男子的生活，询问他们的工作、家庭生活和健康状况，当然也是一路询问的同时却不知道他们的人生故事会如何发展。
Studies like this are exceedingly rare. Almost all projects of this kind fall apart within a decade because too many people drop out of the study, or funding for the research dries up, or the researchers get distracted, or they die, and nobody moves the ball further down the field. But through a combination of luck and the persistence of several generations of researchers, this study has survived. About 60 of our original 724 men are still alive, still participating in the study, most of them in their 90s. And we are now beginning to study the more than 2,000 children of these men. And I'm the fourth director of the study.
像这样的研究是非常罕见的。几乎所有这类项目都在十年内分崩离析，因为太多人退出了研究，或者研究资金枯竭，或者研究人员分心，或者他们死亡，没有人再把项目往前推进。但是，运气和几代研究人员的坚持的结合，这项研究得以幸存下来。在我们最初的724名男子中，约有60人仍然活着，仍在参与这项研究，其中大多数人已经90多岁。而且我们现在开始研究这些人的2000多个孩子。而我是这项研究的第四任主导者。
Since 1938, we've tracked the lives of two groups of men. The first group started in the study when they were sophomores at Harvard College. They all finished college during World War II, and then most went off to serve in the war. And the second group that we've followed was a group of boys from Boston's poorest neighborhoods, boys who were chosen for the study specifically because they were from some of the most troubled and disadvantaged families in the Boston of the 1930s. Most lived in tenements, many without hot and cold running water.
自1938年以来，我们追踪了两组男性的生活。第一组人是在哈佛大学的大二时开始研究的。他们都在二战期间完成了大学学业，然后大多数人都在战争中去服兵役了。我们跟踪的第二组是一群来自波士顿最贫穷的社区的男孩，他们被专门选为研究对象，因为他们来自1930年代波士顿一些最忧虑和处境不利的家庭。他们中的大多数住在破旧的公寓大楼，没有冷热自来水。
When they entered the study, all of these teenagers were interviewed. They were given medical exams. We went to their homes and we interviewed their parents. And then these teenagers grew up into adults who entered all walks of life. They became factory workers and lawyers and bricklayers and doctors, one President of the United States. Some developed alcoholism. A few developed schizophrenia. Some climbed the social ladder from the bottom all the way to the very top, and some made that journey in the opposite direction.
当他们进入研究阶段时，所有这些青少年都被做了采访。他们接受了体检。我们去了他们家，采访了他们的父母。然后这些青少年成长为成年人，进入各行各业。他们成为工厂工人、律师、砌砖工人和医生，还有一位美国总统。有些人患上了酗酒症。少数人患上了精神分裂症。有些人在社会的阶梯上从底层一直爬到最顶层，有些人则朝相反的方向走。
The founders of this study would never in their wildest dreams have imagined that I would be standing here today, 75 years later, telling you that the study still continues. Every two years, our patient and dedicated research staff calls up our men and asks them if we can send them yet one more set of questions about their lives. Many of the inner city Boston men ask us, "Why do you keep wanting to study me? My life just isn't that interesting." The Harvard men never ask that question. (Laughter)
这项研究的创始人做梦也不会想到，75年后的今天，我会站在这里告诉你们，这项研究仍在继续。每隔两年，我们耐心而专注的研究人员就会打电话给我们的研究对象，问他们是否可以再向他们提出一组关于他们生活的问题。许多波士顿市内的男子问我们："为什么你们一直想研究我？我的生活并不那么有趣"。哈佛大学的学生从来不问这个问题。(笑声)
To get the clearest picture of these lives, we don't just send them questionnaires. We interview them in their living rooms. We get their medical records from their doctors. We draw their blood, we scan their brains, we talk to their children. We videotape them talking with their wives about their deepest concerns. And when, about a decade ago, we finally asked the wives if they would join us as members of the study, many of the women said, "You know, it's about time." (Laughter)
为了最清楚地了解这些研究对象的生活，我们不只是向他们发送调查问卷。我们在他们的客厅里采访他们。我们从医生那里得到他们的医疗记录。我们抽取他们的血液，扫描他们的大脑，与他们的孩子交谈。我们给他们录像，让他们与妻子谈论他们最深切的关注点。而当大约十年前，我们终于问他们的妻子们是否愿意作为研究对象加入我们的研究时，许多妇女说："你知道，现在是时候了。" (笑声)
So what have we learned? What are the lessons that come from the tens of thousands of pages of information that we've generated on these lives? Well, the lessons aren't about wealth or fame or working harder and harder. The clearest message that we get from this 75-year study is this: Good relationships keep us happier and healthier. Period.
那么，我们学到了什么？从我们在这些研究对象的生活中产生的数万页信息中，可以得到什么教训？好吧，这些教训并不是关于财富或名声或越来越努力地工作。我们从这项长达75年的研究中得到的最清晰的信息是这样的：良好的人际关系使我们更快乐、更健康。就这样。
We've learned three big lessons about relationships. The first is that social connections are really good for us, and that loneliness kills. It turns out that people who are more socially connected to family, to friends, to community, are happier, they're physically healthier, and they live longer than people who are less well connected. And the experience of loneliness turns out to be toxic. People who are more isolated than they want to be from others find that they are less happy, their health declines earlier in midlife, their brain functioning declines sooner and they live shorter lives than people who are not lonely. And the sad fact is that at any given time, more than one in five Americans will report that they're lonely.
我们已经学到了关于关系的三大教训。第一条是社会联系对我们真的很有好处，而孤独会让人感到痛苦。事实证明，与家庭、朋友、社区有更多社会联系的人更快乐，他们的身体更健康，他们比那些社会联系不紧密的人更长寿。孤独的经历被证明是毒性的。那些比他们希望的更多地与他人孤立的人发现他们不那么快乐，他们的健康在中年时下降得更早，他们的大脑功能下降得更快，他们比不孤独的人活得更短。而可悲的事实是，在任何时候，超过五分之一的美国人都会报告他们很孤独。
And we know that you can be lonely in a crowd and you can be lonely in a marriage, so the second big lesson that we learned is that it's not just the number of friends you have, and it's not whether or not you're in a committed relationship, but it's the quality of your close relationships that matters. It turns out that living in the midst of conflict is really bad for our health. High-conflict marriages, for example, without much affection, turn out to be very bad for our health, perhaps worse than getting divorced. And living in the midst of good, warm relationships is protective.
我们知道，你可以在人群中感到孤独，你也可以在婚姻中感到孤独，所以我们学到的第二个大教训是，重要的不仅仅是你有多少朋友，也不是你是否处于承诺的关系中，而是你亲密关系的质量。事实证明，生活在冲突中，对我们的健康真的很不利。例如，高度冲突的婚姻，没有太多的感情，结果对我们的健康非常不利，也许比离婚更糟糕。而生活在良好、温暖的关系中是有呵护性的。
Once we had followed our men all the way into their 80s, we wanted to look back at them at midlife and to see if we could predict who was going to grow into a happy, healthy octogenarian and who wasn't. And when we gathered together everything we knew about them at age 50, it wasn't their middle age cholesterol levels that predicted how they were going to grow old. It was how satisfied they were in their relationships. The people who were the most satisfied in their relationships at age 50 were the healthiest at age 80. And good, close relationships seem to buffer us from some of the slings and arrows of getting old. Our most happily partnered men and women reported, in their 80s, that on the days when they had more physical pain, their mood stayed just as happy. But the people who were in unhappy relationships, on the days when they reported more physical pain, it was magnified by more emotional pain.
当我们跟踪我们的研究对象一直到他们的80岁时，我们想回顾一下他们在中年时的情况，看看我们是否能预测谁会成长为一个快乐、健康的八旬老人，谁不会。当我们把50岁时对他们的了解收集起来时，预测他们如何变老的并不是他们中年时的胆固醇水平。而是他们在人际关系中的满意程度。在50岁时对他们的关系最满意的人在80岁时是最健康的。良好的、密切的关系似乎可以缓冲我们变老的一些障碍和烦恼。我们最幸福的男女伴侣报告说，在他们80岁时，在他们有更多身体疼痛的日子里，他们的情绪保持同样的快乐。但那些关系不幸福的人，在他们报告有更多身体疼痛的日子里，却被更多的情感疼痛所放大。
And the third big lesson that we learned about relationships and our health is that good relationships don't just protect our bodies, they protect our brains. It turns out that being in a securely attached relationship to another person in your 80s is protective, that the people who are in relationships where they really feel they can count on the other person in times of need, those people's memories stay sharper longer. And the people in relationships where they feel they really can't count on the other one, those are the people who experience earlier memory decline.
我们在关系和健康方面学到的第三大教训是，良好的关系不仅能保护我们的身体，还能保护我们的大脑。事实证明，在你80多岁时与另一个人建立安全的依恋关系是一种保护，那些在关系中真正感到在需要的时候可以依靠对方的人，这些人的记忆会保持更长的清晰状态。而那些在关系中感到自己真的不能依靠对方的人，这些人的记忆力衰退得更早。
And those good relationships, they don't have to be smooth all the time. Some of our octogenarian couples could bicker with each other day in and day out, but as long as they felt that they could really count on the other when the going got tough, those arguments didn't take a toll on their memories.
而那些良好的关系，不一定要一直都很顺利。我们的一些年老的夫妇可以日复一日地相互争吵，但只要他们觉得在遇到困难时可以真正依靠对方，这些争吵就不会对他们的记忆造成影响。
So this message, that good, close relationships are good for our health and well-being, this is wisdom that's as old as the hills. Why is this so hard to get and so easy to ignore? Well, we're human. What we'd really like is a quick fix, something we can get that'll make our lives good and keep them that way. Relationships are messy and they're complicated and the hard work of tending to family and friends, it's not sexy or glamorous. It's also lifelong. It never ends. The people in our 75-year study who were the happiest in retirement were the people who had actively worked to replace workmates with new playmates. Just like the millennials in that recent survey, many of our men when they were starting out as young adults really believed that fame and wealth and high achievement were what they needed to go after to have a good life. But over and over, over these 75 years, our study has shown that the people who fared the best were the people who leaned in to relationships, with family, with friends, with community.
因此，这个信息，即良好的、密切的关系对我们的健康和福祉有益，这是像山一样古老的智慧。为什么这一点如此难以得到，又如此容易被忽视？嗯，我们是人。我们真正想要的是一个快速解决方案，我们可以得到一些东西，让我们的生活变得美好并保持这种状态。关系是棘手的，它们是复杂的，而且是照顾家人和朋友的艰苦工作，它并不性感或华丽。它也是终生的。它永远不会结束。在我们75年的研究中，退休后最幸福的人是那些积极努力用新玩伴取代工作伙伴的人。就像最近的调查中的 "千禧一代 "一样，我们的许多人在开始成为年轻人的时候，真的相信名声、财富和高成就是他们需要去追求的美好生活。但是，在这75年中，我们的研究表明，那些成功的人是那些与家庭、朋友、社区有着依恋关系的人。
So what about you? Let's say you're 25, or you're 40, or you're 60. What might leaning in to relationships even look like? Well, the possibilities are practically endless. It might be something as simple as replacing screen time with people time or livening up a stale relationship by doing something new together, long walks or date nights, or reaching out to that family member who you haven't spoken to in years, because those all-too-common family feuds take a terrible toll on the people who hold the grudges.
那么你呢？比方说，你是25岁，或40岁，或60岁。依恋关系可能是什么样子的？嗯，可能性实际上是无穷的。它可能是一些简单的事情，如用人际交往时间取代屏幕时间，或通过一起做一些新的事情来活跃陈旧的关系，长时间的散步或约会之夜，或与多年来没有说话的家庭成员联系，因为那些太常见的家庭怨恨对持有积怨的人造成了可怕的伤害。
I'd like to close with a quote from Mark Twain. More than a century ago, he was looking back on his life, and he wrote this: "There isn't time, so brief is life, for bickerings, apologies, heartburnings, callings to account. There is only time for loving, and but an instant, so to speak, for that." The good life is built with good relationships. Thank you. (Applause)
我想用马克-吐温的一段话来结束。一个多世纪前，他在回顾自己的人生时写下了这样一段话。"生命如此短暂，没有时间用于争吵、道歉、焦虑、问责。只有爱的时间，而且可以说是一瞬间。" 美好的生活是由良好的关系建立的。谢谢你。(鼓掌)
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