受简友Graceland所托翻译的短篇小说《爱情保险》
Zhou Zihao was my classmate in Tongji University. His wife, Annie Lee, also majored in advertising like us, but one year our junior. When we were in college, we hung out together everyday. Don't get me wrong. I was quite innocent at the time. The three of us would often go out for movies, bar hopping, karaoke, or play tennis together. It was only much later that I realized I had developed feelings for Annie. Perhaps, it was what people called love.
Oddly enough, I found the feeling of one-sided love quite enjoyable. Admiring her beauty in secret had become my obsession. The delicate arch of her eyebrows, her pretty eyes and creamy skin are set on a peaceful face that radiated a natural beauty, and her sexy body was hot as hell, making my heart race every time I laid eyes on her.
They treated me as a best friend since I had been hanging with them for years, and I never thought of myself as a third wheel. Looking back, I was either a late bloomer in the love department, or outright stupid.
As I found myself fallen in love with Annie, she also started to take notice of the desire in my eyes. Sadly, we graduated and parted ways before we had a chance to develop our feelings for each other. I went to Germany to study and Zhou Zihao entered a 4A advertising company. The two of them soon got married and had a pair of lovely twins.
It had been three months since I came back to Shanghai after leaving for more than a decade, but I didn’t have any of their contact information. We met again in a recent college reunion where Zhou Zihao told me that he was now doing an insurance business.
Surprised, I said, “I thought you were in advertising. How did you get in the insurance business?”
Flashing me a quick smile, Zhou Zihao said, "The insurance industry is very different nowadays. The employees are highly educated. And I've started a company in recent years and it’s been growing very quickly. We offer love insurance, not conventional business.
“Love insurance?”
“Yes, love insurance.”
“You are nuts. Love is the most risky thing. Wouldn’t you lose every penny?”
Taking a sip of champagne Zhou Zihao said nonchalantly, "If you are free tomorrow, we can have dinner and catch up. We haven't talked to each other for so long! And if you have time, I'll show you how we write love insurance. I need to visit a few clients this afternoon which shouldn’t take long. How about we have dinner after that?”
Zhou Zihao was indeed known for his creativity in college. I just never thought he would start this love insurance business, which sounded quite original and was unheard of in Germany. It really seemed like the business model in China had been developing rapidly, which was why I returned home for potential investment opportunities. Tomorrow would be the perfect time to check it out.
At four PM the next day, Zhou Zihao took me to a villa in Gubei. He asked me to act as his assistant. Speak less, observe more.
A tall, skinny man opened the door. His girlfriend, a pale skinned, high nose girl, sat inside, her face wet and blotchy as if she had just cried.
Sitting on the sofa in the living room, Zhou Zihao started the conversation with them in no time.
“How long have you been together?”
Tall skinny guy answered, “Eight years.”
Zhou Zihao responded, "It’s not easy to maintain an eight-year long relationship. If you have already survived the seven-year itch and we could win the War of Resistance Against Japan in eight years, what kind of problem can’t you overcome now?”
Tall skinny guy said, "We are not compatible and can’t bear staying together any more.”
Zhou Zihao laughed, a sudden bark, before he commented, "The tattoo on your girlfriend's ankle looks fresh to me. From the color of it, it must’ve been done only about a month ago, wasn’t it? Two little rabbits and a red heart. The tattoo proves your relationship is stable. I can read people like a book from the years I've been doing love insurance. Don't fake a break-up to file a claim. Or would you rather want me to bring out the lie detector?”
Tall skinny guy and his girlfriend looked at each other in defeat, their matching expression confirming that Zihao was correct.
Zhou Zihao shook hands with tall skinny guy and said, "When fate brings you together, cherish it and take care!" With that, he left the villa with me.
Next, Zhou Zihao drove me to visit another client near the village of Dragon Park.
At the opening of the door, a man wearing a red and yellow checker shirt and glasses welcomed us into his house.
Smoking on the balcony, we chatted with this client.
Zhou Zihao asked, "Hey, where’s your wife?”
Red and yellow checker man answered, “Don’t talk about it. She’s been gone for more than a month. Our relationship is over. How much payout can I get from this claim, Mr. Zhou?”
Zhou Zihao said, "Not so fast. You two are still together based on my observation. What’s with the bra on the balcony? You can’t still be doing her laundry after breaking up with her more than a month ago.”
Red and yellow checker guy hesitated before responding, "Ugh... I've been in a bad mood lately. It has been hanging there for a long time. "
Chuckling, Zhou Zihao said, "So it’s still wet after a month of drying. Does it never dry out or does it retain water like a diaper? When I passed by your open wardrobe, I also saw a couple pieces of women's clothing, and what about the fake eyelashes on the makeup dresser table? From everything I’ve seen so far, you haven’t broken up at all. Do I need to run a forensic test on your bed sheet?”
Red and yellow checker guy was fuming when he shouted, "No! Don’t! Just you wait and see. we'll break up immediately, tonight!”
Zhou Zihao patted him on the shoulder as he said, "Bro, when fate brings you together, cherish it and take care!"
I sat on front passenger seat of the Cadillac and casually chatted with Zhou Zihao.
Gazing at the roadside scenery, I said, "This insurance business of yours is kind of like a detective job. Aren’t you a little tired?"
Zhou Zihao said, “Not at all. Today I've just demonstrated how our company's adjusters conduct their work. They are talented, observant, and professionally trained by our company. Many of them used to be private investigators. No red flag goes undetected under their watch.”
I nodded and thought, "This job seems pretty easy if the boss doesn’t need to do the actual work."
Turning the steering wheel, Zhou Zihao continued, "In our industry, one-third of our customers fake breakups, and one-third can get back together by intervention, so we actually play a positive role in the society, and our reputation is pretty good."
I said, "I have always thought that emotions are unreliable, vulnerable, and not insurable.”
Zhou Zihao said, "Actually, you are right. Emotions are very vulnerable, but some clients, mostly female, do become happier because of the piece of mind they buy from love insurance. Do you think people enjoy breaking up? It’s all because of their insecurity. People always prefer staying together if possible.”
I gave it some thought and had to agree with him. Looking at the scenery outside the window, I suddenly got an idea.
Later we visited two other clients. They were a cross-border couple, a young lady with a full figure and a handsome British man.
Their break up was not fake at all, but real as it could be. Zhou Zihao got so emotional when he tried to convince them to get back together that he even broke into tears and sang sad songs.
"What else do you want me to do, what to do? In the end I only become a lover to you."
"Forget it, it doesn't matter how much I give. I neglect myself because you are the reason I live."
“If you loved him so, why did you let him go?"
Living up to his reputation as the top ten singers on campus, Zhou Zihao broke my heart with his charming voice. Crying in the arms of each other, the couple vowed to never break up again.
Before we left, Zhou Zihao said, "When fate brings you together, cherish it and take care!"
After the visits, I decided Zhou Zihao’s love insurance firm was quite a good investment and bought five million Yuan’s worth of their company shares.
Since then, the company has been developing exponentially and even went public on Nasdaq not long ago. Zhou Zihao flew to New York to ring the bell, making himself a true winner in life.
Last week, bad news came that Zhou Zihao died of suicide jumping from the sixth floor of Fox Square, ending his life as a great entrepreneur of this generation.
While the cause of his death remained a topic of gossip, rumors had it that he died of a broken heart because his college sweetheart wife was cheating on him. It seemed like love insurance could not ensure love after all.
At this very moment, I was stroking Anne Lee's breasts after she’d just taken a shower, cradling her in my arms like a tamed bird.
Planting a deep kiss on her shoulder, I said, "Haha, I can’t believe a smartass like Zhou Zihao lost this one to me. Did he buy himself a love insurance policy?"
Annie replies with a flirtatious smile, "You bastard! He didn’t buy love insurance because he never imagined he would be heartbroken himself one day. What he bought was...life insurance!”