一年一度的“诺贝尔”全民狂欢周又到来了。
在这周里，媒体人不愁没新闻可写，营销狗不愁没话题可蹭，上班族也不用担心面对办公室冷场。甚至就算今年得奖者你一个都不认识也没关系，最起码还能发表一下感言：倒霉的村上春树他今年又没戏。
但大家聊来聊去，来来回回就是那么几个梗也很尴尬呀。
相逢就是缘分，作为对你十分有品味的点开这篇文章的奖励，我保你看完全文立刻就能熟练掌握解构鲍勃迪伦的独特技巧。
快速问答：
怎样十分有逼格的装作在得知鲍勃迪伦获奖以前就已经听过八百遍他的专辑？
千万不要提烂大街的Blowing in the Wind，Like a Rolling Stone，Knocking on Heaven's Door三板斧。太俗。点首小众的歌名，并熟练的背出一两句歌词即可。
你觉得这难度太高？唉。我送佛送上天，好人做到底，包教包会。
我推荐选用Ballad of a Thin Man，这首歌国内相对小众，但外媒乐评人一直对这首歌大为推崇评价甚高。而且这首歌与Like a Rolling Stone同出自于涤纶1965年发行的口碑经典砖Highway 61 Revisited，也算有典出。
我觉得这歌歌名就透着一种审美。一说瘦子的歌谣，你是不是就已经能脑补出又潮又丧的那股子文青味了？
接下来让我们瞅瞅歌词。
"Ballad Of A Thin Man"
You walk into the room with your pencil in your hand
You see somebody naked
And you say, "Who is that man ?"
You try so hard But you don't understand
Just what you'll say
When you get home.
Because something is happening here
But you don't know what it is
Do you, Mister Jones ?
我知道你已经看不下去，在往下滚了
You raise up your head
And you ask, "Is this where it is ?"
And somebody points to you and says
"It's his"
And you says, "What's mine ?"
And somebody else says, "Where what is ?"
And you say, "Oh my God Am I here all alone ?"
But something is happening here
But you don't know what it is
Do you, Mister Jones ?
可以继续滚！
You hand in your ticket
And you go watch the geek
Who immediately walks up to you
When he hears you speak
And says, "How does it feel To be such a freak ?"
And you say, "Impossible"
As he hands you a bone.
And something is happening here
But you don't know what it is
Do you, Mister Jones ?
坚持！加油！
You have many contacts Among the lumberjacks To get you facts
When someone attacks your imagination
But nobody has any respect
Anyway they already expect you To all give a check To tax-deductible charity organizations.
You've been with the professors
And they've all liked your looks With great lawyers you have Discussed lepers and crooks
You've been through all of F. Scott Fitzgerald's books
You're very well read
It's well known.
But something is happening here
And you don't know what it is
Do you, Mister Jones ?
胜利的曙光！不要急着点叉！
Well, the sword swallower, he comes up to you
And then he kneels
He crosses himself
And then he clicks his high heels
And without further notice
He asks you how it feels
And he says, "Here is your throat back
Thanks for the loan".
And you know something is happening
But you don't know what it is
Do you, Mister Jones ?
Now you see this one-eyed midget
Shouting the word "NOW"
And you say, "For what reason ?"
And he says, "How ?"
And you say, "What does this mean ?"
And he screams back, "You're a cow Give me some milk Or else go home".
Because something is happening
But you don't know what it is
Do you, Mister Jones ?
最后的最后一点了！！！不要放弃！
Well, you walk into the room Like a camel and then you frown
You put your eyes in your pocket
And your nose on the ground
There ought to be a law Against you comin' around
You should be made To wear earphones.
Does something is happening
And you don't know what it is
Do you, Mister Jones ?
你心想，这歌词也太他妈长了吧。
呵呵，不然你以为诺贝尔文学奖凭什么颁给他。
好了，下面是干货。
逼格贴士No.1 找准解构重点
对于装逼用的知名文学作品，我们不一定真的有兴趣或者有时间去仔细琢磨。毕竟，我们的计划只是“装作”有研究，而不是真的花时间去研究嘛。
所以要学会只抓“主要矛盾”！只看重点段落！
这首歌里我觉得最适合发挥逼格的是这句。
"When someone attacks your imagination / But nobody has any respect / Anyway they already expect you / To just give a check / To tax-deductible charity organizations"
这句歌词在整首歌里基本处于剧中位置，不太靠前，不太靠后——这暗示我们真的有很认真听过这首歌，而且是有感而发，不是做作挤梗凑热点。
歌词中还有“respect”，“imagination”这样的经典单词，降低了我们解析瞎掰的难度。你去听几首汪峰的歌，就知道万金油式意群有多好使了，这些词极大地方便了我们流水线批量生产“解构”成果。
逼格贴士No.2 联系时代 多用文化主义 学会留白
我知道这歌词看得人挺云里雾里的，除了不断出现的Mr Jones，就净是什么naked啊，geek啊，freak啊这种词儿。
就跟咱们这儿的朦胧诗一样，现代艺术的特点就是高度抽象，偏不好好说话。但这也给我们留下了极大的瞎掰空间呀。这艺术作品啊，一旦出版，也就脱离了作者本身，所以怎么过度演绎都不过分。
按照中学语文老师教导的应试技巧，我们往先结合时代背景扯一扯。*扯这段时多提XX文化，XX主义，若能拽英文专有名词，则效果更佳。
60年代，美国盛行反主流文化(Counterculture)，嬉皮(Hippies)遍地跑。而传统体面群众面对嬉皮文化是一脸蒙圈的。这歌唱的就是就是传统民众Mr Jones在遭遇嬉皮文化时，哪怕非常努力去了解，也还是格格不入，只会更加摸不着头脑。
而具体结合到“重点”歌词，我感觉反映的是酷哥迪伦或者说嬉皮文化，在面对广大媒体所代表的主流文化时的一种不耐与烦闷。“问个屁咧，根本懒得回答。反正双方心怀偏见，相互划定sterotype，不如相看两相厌，谁也别理谁。”
留白则是指，要多谈“个人感觉”和“时代环境”，多谈大空，少讲细实。这是自我保护，预防打脸，也是为了营造“修为莫测”的高逼格视感。
在具体表达方式上，则要注意。一般爱说“呵呵你懂得”的人，直接暴露了他自己也不懂的事实。逼格爱好者们要引以为戒。
逼格贴士No.3 客场变主场
装逼艺术最重要的就是要善于把陌生领域转化为熟悉的专业知识。客场变主场的重要意义在于迅速转场，避免他人深究，毕竟鲍勃迪伦咱真不熟，迅速自然跳转到专业知识可以遮掩短板，顺便显摆下咱们真的是正经有为财税人。我都可以想象到你们一见歌词儿里有个tax deductible就瞬间浑身一抖精神高潮了的那个样子，是不是脑子里的知识要点滚滚的转，顿觉自己那几本CPA总算没白看？
提供两个可行的话题跳转思路。
前段时间香港还有人通过虚报可抵税慈善捐款少交个税，结果被税务局逮个正着，最后被法院判刑了。
9月1日，大陆慈善法正式生效实施。各大信托公司纷纷抢占慈善信托市场，同时强烈呼吁明确慈善信托税收优惠政策。最新动向是有人找到了鸡贼的变通办法，在慈善信托中设立双受托人以享受税收优惠
初级逼格爱好者实操到这里就足够。
但如果还想进一步小小显摆一下自己在欧美音乐上的审美气质，可以再找补一句。“我觉得要是凭歌词也能拿诺贝尔文学奖的话，过两年没准Cohen也能拿奖了。”但请提前做好功课，准备一两首Cohen的歌词解构备用。
本文作者并不建议读者实践时采用“凭什么把奖颁给涤纶，我觉得Cohen比他牛逼多了”这样的句式。
周末亲朋聚会，周一上班同事间瞎侃时欢迎实践本篇【一点逼格实务指南】。
切记切记，一点点逼格己足矣，装逼过度恐遭雷劈。
鲍勃迪伦现已实现奥斯卡、格莱美、金球奖、普利策、诺贝尔大满贯
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