当孩子做事拖拉，作业不会，陷入沮丧情绪，当爸妈的记得一定不要发怒，calm down保持冷静是第一要务，之后你可以进行下面的动作：
1. Take a few deep breaths and/or count silently to 10 if you’re feeling upset.
深呼吸，或者从心里数到10。
2. Look at your child and pay attention to any emotional cues including body language, tone of voice, and words if they’re using them.
认真看着孩子，观察他们在用什么情绪表达？例如身体语言，声调语气，说出什么样的话。
3. Calmly validate their feelings by saying, “I see you’re (angry, mad, upset, disappointed, sad, etc.)”
冷静地确认孩子现在的情绪，告诉ta"我知道你生气了，气疯了，很烦，很失望，很伤心……"
4. Next, try to understand why they’re upset. If you’re not sure you might say, “Tell me what is making you …?” If they can’t tell you, state your observation by saying, “It looks to me like you are ___ because of ___? I understand how that could ___.
下面，试着弄清楚他们不开心的原因。如果不确定的话，你可以说：“跟我说说你为啥这么……呢？”如果他们说不清楚，请陈述下你的观察，“我觉得你好像因为……，我知道那会让你……”
5. With younger children, this may be the time to say, “I’m sorry you are ___” and then redirect by saying, “Oh look at ____. I bet you can ____ with it.”
对待更加幼小的宝宝，例如三四五岁，或许你应该安抚说：“看着你……我也很难过” 然后分散注意力，“瞧瞧这个……我猜你肯定能……”
6. For older children, you may have to be assertive and say, I know that is making you feel ___ but ___ (explain or state the reason their desire is not realistic).
对待大儿童，你应该更加独断利落些，“我知道那让你感觉……但是（解释或陈述他们的想法为啥是不现实的）”
7. In some cases, problem-solving may be an appropriate approach.
直接解决问题或许是一个合理的办法。
8. Taking time to teach basic coping skills for toddlers and older children is definitely in order.
孩子蹒跚学步的时候就教给基本的处理方法，他们长大后肯定自有办法。