2017-12-31 给这一年的自己

2017年的最后一日,我拿到了昨天鬼使神差订购的一本书,关于女性创业者的,名字叫做《所有开挂的姑娘,都曾努力到踉跄》。

17年的最后一个月在几乎全赴在病榻上,过着每天夜里难受的睡不着,白天睁眼就是中午的日子。有一个爱我、照顾我的男友,每日柴米油盐又情话绵绵。这一个月,我实在沉浸在小女人的幸福中,几次想要放弃追求什么的梦想,投入稳定家庭的怀抱。可是,总有一丝不甘在内心的角落。前日珍妮来找我,提到之前“思想交锋”的生活,她说从我眼睛里看到了光。是的,我们终会归于平淡,但我希望那是繁华落尽后的永恒宁静,而非抱有遗憾的滞留。

这本书就是我18年的野心与萌芽。

既然是一个周年的结束,让我来反思下自己今年的最满意与最不满意吧。

最满意是,我不再懵懂追求华而不实的身外物,我把钱攒下来,安抚自己的内心,自己有钱我才真的踏实。25岁,我的存款可以达到50w,并且每日理财所得收入可以抵得过日常的生活开销。我真的在这点上为自己感到骄傲!明年如果我把这笔钱投入到创业或投资中去,我希望可以达到150甚至200w!

最不满意的是,我仍然在工作中迷茫着,不安稳着。我仍然找不到自己事业方向之所在。不过,不要着急姑娘,做好手中事,你的野心勃勃与发掘性思维会帮助你找到突破口的。现在我要做的就是学会踏踏实实的做事、做人。相信命运之光就快要打过来了。

一年终止,一年伊始。我把这首《当我开始真正爱自己》再次送给来年的自己,希望我在迷惘时可以用此诗讯问内心,它是我的指明灯。

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《当我真正开始爱自己 》     查理·卓别林(英国)

当我真正开始爱自己,

我才认识到,所有的痛苦和情感的折磨,

都只是提醒我:活着,不要违背自己的本心。

今天我明白了,这叫做

『真实』。

当我真正开始爱自己,

我才懂得,把自己的愿望强加于人,

是多么的无礼,就算我知道,时机并不成熟,

那人也还没有做好准备,

就算那个人就是我自己,

今天我明白了,这叫做

『尊重』。

当我开始爱自己,

我不再渴求不同的人生,

我知道任何发生在我身边的事情,

都是对我成长的邀请。

如今,我称之为

『成熟』。

当我开始真正爱自己,

我才明白,我其实一直都在正确的时间,

正确的地方,发生的一切都恰如其分。

由此我得以平静。

今天我明白了,这叫做

『自信』。

当我开始真正爱自己,

我不再牺牲自己的自由时间,

不再去勾画什么宏伟的明天。

今天我只做有趣和快乐的事,

做自己热爱,让心欢喜的事,

用我的方式,以我的韵律。

今天我明白了,这叫做

『单纯』。

当我开始真正爱自己,

我开始远离一切不健康的东西。

不论是饮食和人物,还是事情和环境,

我远离一切让我远离本真的东西。

从前我把这叫做“追求健康的自私自利”,

但今天我明白了,这是

『自爱』。

当我开始真正爱自己,

我不再总想着要永远正确,不犯错误。

我今天明白了,这叫做

『谦逊』。

当我开始真正爱自己,

我不再继续沉溺于过去,

也不再为明天而忧虑,

现在我只活在一切正在发生的当下,

今天,我活在此时此地,

如此日复一日。这就叫

『完美』。

当我开始真正爱自己,

我明白,我的思虑让我变得贫乏和病态,

但当我唤起了心灵的力量,

理智就变成了一个重要的伙伴,

这种组合我称之为,

『心的智慧』。

我们无须再害怕自己和他人的分歧,矛盾和问题,

因为即使星星有时也会碰在一起,

形成新的世界,

今天我明白,这就是『生命』!

As I began to love myself

Charlie Chaplin

As I began to love myself

I found that anguish and emotional suffering are only warning signs that I was living againstmy own truth.

Today, I know, this is

"AUTHENTICITY".

As I began to love myself

I understood how much it can offend somebody as I try to force my desires on this person,

even though I knew the time was not right and the person was not ready for it,

and even though this person was me.

Today I call it

"RESPECT".

As I began to love myself

I stopped craving for a different life,

and I could see that everything that surrounded me was inviting me to grow.

Today I call it

"MATURITY".

As I began to love myself

I understood that at any circumstance,

I am in the right place at the right time,

and everything happens at the exactly right moment,

so I could be calm.

Today I call it

"SELF-CONFIDENCE".

As I began to love myself

I quit steeling my own time,

and I stopped designing huge projects for the future.

Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness,

things I love to do and that make my heart cheer,

and I do them in my own way

and in my own rhythm.

Today I call it

"HONESTY".

As I began to love myself

I freed myself of anything that is no good for my health –

food, people, things, situations,

and everything that drew me down and away from myself.

At first I called this attitude a healthy egoism.

Today I know it is

"LOVE OF ONESELF".

As I began to love myself

I quit trying to always be right,

and ever since I was wrong less of the time.

Today I discovered that is

"MODESTY".

As I began to love myself

I refused to go on living in the past

and worry about the future.

Now, I only live for the moment,

where EVERYTHING is happening.

Today I live each day, day by day,

and I call it

"PERFECTION".

As I began to love myself

I recognized that my mind can disturb me and it can make me sick.

But as I connected it to my heart,

my mind became a valuable ally.

Today I call this connection

WISDOM OF THE HEART.

We no longer need to fear arguments,

confrontations or any kind of problems with ourselves or others.

Even stars collide,

and out of their crashing new worlds are born.

Today I know

That is LIFE!

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