This is my speech from my school speeches. I hope you enjoy.
What came first? The chicken or the egg? Now that’s an eggcellent question! (Hi, I’m Harry and today I will take you on a journey of eggstravagant proportions!) And in my case, the egg came first. From the very day light shone on my face, my life revolved around eggs and I hated it. This is how it all started…
14 of June 2005. It was going to be a bright future for me, except it wasn’t. Before I was even born, I was destined to have a strong relationship with the egg. From egg flavoured baby food to egg shaped toys. I was literally the egg magnet. Now how this came to be was really quite weird. Both my grandma’s coincidentally love eggs! They said to me one day. Two eggs a day keeps the doctor away! And I thought an apple was enough! I am now the connoisseur of eggs and can tell if one’s from a sketchy market or if one’s New Zealand.
For 13 years I have kept the unhealthy habit of eating around 1 and a half eggs per day. Now this may not seem a lot to you but trust me, every egg yolk contains around 150 milligrams of this thing called choline. Choline is a chemical that can cause prostate cancer. In egg yolk choline is very concentrated and therefore if large amounts are consumed (actions). I calculated that every week, I increase my chance of getting prostate cancer by 336%. You know, I really should be on one of those freaky eater shows. Oh, and every year that’s 17472% chance of me getting prostate cancer. I’m surprised I’m not dead! (pause)
Alright, you know what, I have a story to tell you. My grandma came back from China last year and since my grandma came back, she’s been giving even more eggs per day. There’s a boiled egg for breakfast and two asian scrambled eggs for dinner. (you don’t want to know what that is)
What’s worse is that the dishes are the exact same. It’s not like a poached egg there and (you know crank up the pan) and a fried egg there, it’s the same old shiny boiled egg in the morning and eggs for dinner. Same.
Here’s another story. I went out to Coffee Club with my family. We arrived and sat down, you know, normal stuff. I went to wash my hands and as soon as my body leaves the room, the grandma goes all out. Rocket boosters and all.
‘What would you like today?’
Dad: I’ll have a sandwich
Mum: I’ll start with a light coffee
Allan: I’ll have a kids meal
Grandma: I’ll have a scone and an egg benedict with and extra egg
As innocent as ever, the gullible me, walks back into the room, expecting a juicy burger or something. My eyes bleed in terror. NOOOOOO!
The one time I go to Coffee Club, I get more eggs!
My whole family gets something that doesn’t even start with ‘e’!
I had to accept my fate and slide greasy sludges of golf ball sized eggs down my throat. It’s not that bad but, it was bad.
When we got home, I sat in my room, morning for my stomach. Poor guy. Poor. BAM! I realised something that would change how I think of my grandma forever. When my grandparents were children, they couldn’t even afford two eggs every year. You had to have egg tickets in order to get eggs! And those tickets were like winning the lottery rare! And so I realised that my grandma always wanted the best for me. This is what I would like to share with you. Your grandparents were much less fortunate than you, and however they may show it, they will do weird things to try make you feel happy. They literally will do anything to make you ‘happy’. Thank you.
这是我学校演讲中的演讲。我希望你喜欢。
什么是第一个？鸡还是鸡蛋？现在这是一个非常好的问题！ （嗨，我是哈利，今天我带你去旅行的鸡蛋！]在我的情况下，鸡蛋是第一个。从那天光照在我的脸上，我的生活围绕着鸡蛋，我讨厌它。这就是一切的开始......
2005年6月14日。对我来说这将是一个光明的未来，除非事实并非如此。在我出生之前，我注定与鸡蛋有着密切的关系。从鸡蛋味婴儿食品到蛋形玩具。我真的是蛋磁铁。现在这是怎么回事真的很奇怪。我奶奶的巧合都是鸡蛋！他们有一天对我说。每天两个鸡蛋让医生远离！而且我认为一个苹果就足够了！我现在是鸡蛋的鉴赏家，可以判断一个人是来自粗略的市场，还是一个人的新西兰。
13年来，我一直养成每天吃1个半蛋的不健康习惯。现在这对你来说似乎并不多，但相信我，每个蛋黄含有大约150毫克的这种叫做胆碱的东西。胆碱是一种可以导致前列腺癌的化学物质。在蛋黄中，胆碱非常浓缩，因此如果大量食用（动作）。我计算得出，每周我都会使患前列腺癌的几率增加336％。你知道，我真的应该参加其中一个怪异的食客节目。哦，每年有17472％的机会患上前列腺癌。我很惊讶我没死！ （暂停）
好吧，你知道吗，我有一个故事要告诉你。我奶奶去年从中国回来，自从奶奶回来后，她每天都要给更多的鸡蛋。早餐有煮鸡蛋，晚餐有两个亚洲炒鸡蛋。 （你不想知道那是什么）
更糟糕的是，菜肴完全相同。它不像那里的荷包蛋（你知道在锅里炖）和那里的煎蛋，早上是同样的老闪亮的煮鸡蛋，晚餐是鸡蛋。相同。
这是另一个故事。我和家人一起去了咖啡俱乐部。我们到了，坐下来，你知道，正常的东西。我去洗手，一旦我的身体离开房间，奶奶全力以赴。火箭助推器和所有。
“你今天想要什么？”
爸爸：我要三明治
妈妈：我会先喝一杯清淡的咖啡
艾伦：我会吃一顿儿饭
奶奶：我有一个烤饼和一个鸡蛋本尼迪克特和额外的鸡蛋
像往常一样无辜，轻信我，走回房间，期待一个多汁的汉堡或什么的。我的眼睛因恐怖而流血。 NOOOOOO！
有一次我去咖啡俱乐部，我得到更多的鸡蛋！
我的整个家庭得到的东西甚至都没有以'e'开头！
我不得不接受我的命运，将高尔夫球大小的鸡蛋油滑到我的喉咙里。这不是那么糟糕但是，这很糟糕。
当我们回到家时，我坐在我的房间，早上为我的胃。可怜的家伙。较差的。 BAM！我意识到会改变我对奶奶的看法。当我的祖父母是孩子时，他们甚至不能每年买两个鸡蛋。你必须有蛋票才能得到鸡蛋！那些门票就像赢得稀有彩票一样！所以我意识到我奶奶一直都想要对我好。这就是我想与大家分享的内容。你的祖父母比你少得多，然而他们可能会表现出来，他们会做一些奇怪的事情让你感到快乐。他们真的会做任何让你'快乐'的事情。谢谢。