Recongition & Conflict（赞美与冲突）

I have learned a lot from Mindy‘s sharing yesterday night。Mindy is a ICF ACTP Trainer
（昨晚听了来自ICF ACTP 的教练Mindy的分享，收益颇多）

We found that we are pleasure to receive the recognition from some of the people while not so happy to get the recognition from some others.Evenmore，we may think some people are not really want to recognize us in heart，but for other purpose instead when they recognize us。What cause this difference？
I think it‘s because not all recognitions are good and effective recognition，then how to recognize it？
（生活中，我们会发现自己对某些人给予的赞美会感到特别受用，而对来自另外一些人的赞美则不以为然，反而会怀疑对方是不是另有所指，或者怀疑是不是有所企图，这说明每个人甚至每次的赞美效果都不同，那怎样的赞美才算是一个有效的赞美呢？）

**Recognition of A-B-C rules

（有效赞美的ABC 法则）**

Most of us are happy to be recognized，to be trust in our life。
We feel we are valued，we are needed and we can see a bright future ，life are meanful to us when we are being recognized。
（我们绝大多数人都喜欢被赞美，被肯定，被认可，这些积极的行为让我们感觉我们所付出的努力被别人看见了，让我们觉得自己更有价值了，自己被需要了，我们的前途更光明了，日子更有意义了。）

**Positive psycholgy well-being theory

（积极的心理暗示：PERMA 模型）**

We like postive thoughts and actions，but we are not always satisify our life，as conflict happens frequently。Many of us don't like conflict，as conflict often cause bad influence。In fact，not all conflict are negative ，some of it are even postive。
（我们喜欢积极的行为，但生活却不总能让人开心，冲突时常发生。是不是所有的冲突都是不好的，所有的冲突都会带来负面影响呢？其实不然，我们先看看冲突的类型）

3 Conflict Types （3种冲突的类型）

Type 1:Task conflicts。This kind of conflict are focuse on task instead of people。This kind of conflict can help us to know the whole situtation much better ，so it's positive 。
（第一种类型：对事不对人的冲突，一般来说这种冲突能帮助大家更全面的了解事物的全貌，对推进事情的发展有积极的作用。）

Type 2:Process conflicts。This kind of conflict happens more in High-level people compere with low-level people。The conflict are often focuse on who should be the PIC for the matter，who need to work for this project。
（第二种冲突：关于分配的冲突，多发生于有权利的人士之间，他们会争执到底该派谁去完成这项任务，谁该对该事件负责等。）

Type 3:Relationship conflicts。People focus on the hobbies，weights and so on 。General speaking，this kind of conflict are negative。
（第三类冲突：对人或关系的偏见，比如有些姑娘看到老公邋遢就特别讨厌，即便老公没有做错什么事，女生也会生气导致冲突，这类冲突一般会产生负面影响。）

What will you do when conflict happens？
（对于冲突，你一般会怎么处理呢？互相妥协，单方退让还是强取掠夺，抑或磋商共赢？）

Conflict management model

（冲突管理类型）

What's is the correct action to conflict？
对于冲突，我们又该如何正确应对呢？

**重新认识冲突

（Reframing to conflict）**

We can‘t avoid all conflict in our daily life，we can reframe it and solve it with a better way after we know more about it。
And if we can use more positive way to face ourself and others，the world will be more harmonious and peaceful……
生活中，冲突在所难免，当我们更清楚的认识它后，我们就更能正确应对它。如果我们多用赞美，肯定等积极的行为去对待他人或暗示自己，我相信冲突会越来越少，大家会更加包容，生活会越来越和谐……