i feel I'm crazy! Unbelievable craziness! I really don't understand my behaviours. I have to let it go, totally go…because i cannot sort out where the problem is.
I begin to understand many Daoist friends are superior to me, I'm too sticky. She still has more self control than me and more rational than me. If I don't make any sacrifice, if I don't understand responsibility, I can't understand the way. The way is not only about following feelings. Use the method of yin and yang, I can maintain the health. Now I understand my parents understand the constant way much more than me.
What I teach my daughter is not important, but what I teach myself is important. One must do his work no matter what, work is the most important. If one doesn't do his work, his mind will be rusty and he will be irrational.
In the aspect of knowledge, I paid too much attention to existence; in the aspect of matter, I paid too much attention to non existence. I should really pay more attention to nonexistence, to people's talk. I should view their talk in the perspective of nonexistence. Ning qi Jian is really my example. Somehow I should be more generous, because I serve the people. I give more existence to people in return, I get more non existence. In that way I can really seize the opportunity next time.
I could also learn from Tian Zheng Xiang, who often uses non existence to view existence. Well, I can't change other people, but I can change myself. I believe Zheng Shi Qiang is right. Yesterday I met that girl in the park she has a big heart. I should pay more attention in reality if that's the case, I should be more generous.
Sun hong jiao is right, the result of love is hate and the result of hate is love.
It's not a good sign. Later the whole area is locked down and all the people are forced to have vaccination. Even if I go back to the village, I may not be exempted. A certain area might be closely watched, my location isn't very good. I can prepare to go home now I can't wait here to meet girls in reality. I must protect my eyesight. Take all the available glasses with me. Going back is boring, but later or sooner, I'll go back. To accompany my dad, I think is the best thing.
I do anything with beginning but with no end, because I'm either too careful or too careless.
I plan to go home, but my dad seems to ask for my delay. He is also afraid that only I and him can produce conflict. Conflict is certain, but I know the way. The way can either be feeling or ration. Nobody is exactly sure which way is right. But it can also be any way is right. I don't want to emphasize why I go back, I myself don't know that. Life is a mystery that nobody can sort out. I now understand why people are busy working in every positions. People have to make themselves occupied, they have to make money for survival.
If I go back, Tian Zheng Xiang should be my teacher. His obedience to his parents is admirable. And I shall continue writing to increase my social sense. My most meaningful life is to sketch the remaining days with the words, to create an English world of my own all by myself. You know du Jia is working hard on her business to make more money to raise her kid. The old always shelters the young with all they can. So the young should respect the old because the old have driven the family for so long, they know how.
Busy working is a courage. But person like Jiang Luo Bing spends every day in groups, he has his own way. We are seriously limited. No one is perfect if I always find other people's shortcomings, I am the ill-minded person. Going back to that village is very lonesome, there are more opportunities here. But it's actually all the same. That's why yesterday I had to seek automation.
Always be humble. There are many unexpected possibilities. Do I really know all the things? I don't. No matter which way I go, it's the same. The difference is I'm quite mentally disabled. That's why people have to focus on money to find the normal sense.
I'm in a miserable state of mind that's when filial piety should kick in. Very sure if one has to survive in China, he must understand Confucius and his legacy. I'm too aggressive, very aggressive don't allow others to talk once they talk, I'm angry. But that's actually something I have to go through every day. So I need to make the sacrifice as time goes, I'll understand its goodness. This is emotional investment as they may call it, EQ.