你和TA的感情,如何才能走到最后？

什么？你说最近世界变化太快，爱情的巨轮说沉就沉？你说你们爱情的小火苗在风中摇曳，不知道能够继续下去？

别急，先看看有没有心理专家说的5个你跟他能happy ending的迹象吧!

朗诵：Grace

边听边看，更有感觉~

If you think arguing a lot with your partner means you’re about to break up, rest easy.

如果你觉得跟另一半总是吵不停就代表你俩要分手了，先别着急下定论。

Max Blumberg, a psychologist and researcher at London’s Goldsmiths University, says if there’s no conflict at all, it could be a sign that your relationship is too dull.

伦敦大学金匠学院的心理学家兼研究人员Max Blumberg认为如果没有任何矛盾，可能说明这段感情太过平淡了。

“Or that one of you might be walking all over the other,” he tells the Daily Mail.Max says the key signs for lasting love are what happens after the dust settles.

他向《每日邮报》透露说：“这或者意味着其中一方总是凌驾于对方之上。”Max认为维持一段长久关系的关键在于尘埃落定之后的表现。

He explains more below as he shares his top five signs of happiness.

下面详细阐释了他认为的五个幸福的预兆。

You do more than kiss and makeup when it’s over

大吵之后不仅仅是温存那么简单

“Having make-up sex is a good thing – and from a female perspective it’s critical,” says Max, but adds that the physical makeup should always come after the verbal one.

“争吵之后的温存是件有益的事——尤其对于女性来说，这至关重要.” Max说道。他还补充说一定要在冰释前嫌之后~

“If a woman stops having sex in a relationship, it shows disengagement, which is the worst state to be in. Even conflict, is preferable. “If you are fighting at least you are interested enough in each other to argue.”

如果女性不想再有肢体接触了，这表明了最糟糕坏的情况——疏远。即使是火药味十足的争吵也比冷暴力好。“如果你们发生争吵，这至少说明你还很在乎对方，愿意和他争吵。”

Six good experiences together for every bad one

一起享受（至少）6次美好的经历

“If there’s much less than that, it’s not a good sign,’ explains Max. “It’s necessary to have an argument in a relationship – but the key is the ratio. And it’s also important that the conflicts are being resolved properly.”

“如果远远低于6这个数字，这可不是件好事。”Max说，“一段感情中不可避免会发生争吵，但关键在于争吵所占的比例。另外，妥善处理纷争也十分重要。”

Max believes good conflict resolution comes from being able to air you differences in an unemotional way.

Max认为要想妥善处理纷争，你必须要能够客观冷静地表达自己的异议。

You need to wait at least three or four hours before your chemicals re-balance and that wild feeling subsides so you can discuss the matter calmly.

你需要等上至少三到四个小时，直到大脑里的化学元素恢复平衡，狂躁的情绪得到平复，才能冷静地与对方讨论。

在争吵平息之后，记得和对方相处至少6次愉快的经历，来弥补1次争吵带来的遗憾！

You are happy doing nothing together

即使与对方一起无所事事，也觉得开心

So how do you tell if your relationship is pragmatic, which means its both rational and realistic?

如何分辨你俩的关系是不是“务实”，也就是说你们俩的关系是理智而又现实的。

“One strong defining feature is that you can be quiet together – and do absolutely nothing,” maintains Max.

（这种“务实”关系的）一个显著特征就是你俩能安静地在一起，什么事也不做。

“It’s about finding someone you can muck along with. It’s a very practical type of relationship – but studies show they work.”

就是要找一个能一起“游手好闲”的人。这听起来很实际，但这种关系很靠谱。

You talk about yourselves

多和他沟通和分享

Max advises a relationship heart-to-heart at least every couple of months, unless it’s a new relationship.

Max建议情侣们每隔几个月进行一次促膝长谈。当然，新的恋情除外。

You don’t have to label it as a serious talk but start the conversation by saying something positive about the relationship.

不用将这样的促膝长谈当成是严肃的对话，你可以从这段感情的积极方面入手，开始这次谈话。

It could be a simple matter of saying: “I really enjoy our relationship, how do you feel about it?” or “Is there anything you think we can do to improve our relationship? ”

你可以简单地说：“我很喜欢我们的这段感情，你怎么看呢？”或者说：“你认为我们的感情还有哪些可以改善的地方？”

Your friends approve (mostly)

（大多数）好朋友都赞同你们的恋情

If you find it hard to trust your own gut then you need to listen to your friends, your mum or other members of your family. “Don’t listen to one friend, who might have an issue, but try to get a general sense from a few.”

如果你不太相信自己的感觉，你可以听取朋友们、你母亲或其他亲友的意见。“也不要偏听一词，因为他可能会带有偏见。兼听则明，听取多方意见，多了解。”

What if you end up staying with him despite their views?

如果最后你听不进去别人的意见，偏要跟他在一起呢？

“It doesn’t matter,” says Max, “They don’t have to be best friends – as long as you don’t hold it against them!”

“这也没什么大不了，”Max说，“也不是所有朋友都是挚友。只要你不因他们的反对意见而记仇就行了。”

你觉得感情如何才能走到底？

(编辑：婉婕、芒果）