From: the 7 habits Of highly effective people
Author: Steven R covey
Translator: 一切都还不晚
译文仅供个人学习，不用于任何形式商业目的，转载请注明原作者、文章来源、翻译作者，版权归原文作者所有。
My experience with my son, my study of perception and my reading of the success literature coalesced to create one of those "Aha!" experiences in life when suddenly things click into place. I was suddenly able to see the powerful impact of the Personality Ethic and to clearly understand those subtle, often consciously unidentified discrepancies between what I knew to be true—some things I had been taught many years ago as a child and things that were deep in my own inner sense of value—and the quick fix philosophies that surrounded me every day. I understood at a deeper level why, as I had worked through the years with people from all walks of life, I had found that the things I was teaching and knew to be effective were often at variance with these popular voices.
我从教育孩子、对观念的研究以及阅读有关成功学的著作的经历中，孕育出了非常棒的生命体验，就好像上天有意安排的一样。我也从中认识到人格魅力的强大影响力，并能清晰的理解这其中的微妙，那些我们从小就被灌输的并长久以来根植于心的价值观，常常与社会上被人接受的追求捷径的方法相去甚远，而追求捷径又日复一日的围绕着我。从这些经历中，我深深的明白了虽然我多年以来，我对向他人传授的知识自信是十分有效的，但这些知识总是在流行思潮中被淹没。
I am not suggesting that elements of the Personality Ethic—personality growth, communication skill training, and education in the field of influence strategies and positive thinking—are not beneficial, in fact sometimes essential for success. I believe they are. But these are secondary, not primary traits. Perhaps, in utilizing our human capacity to build on the foundation of generations before us, we have inadvertently become so focused on our own building that we have forgotten the foundation that holds it up; or in reaping for so long where we have not sown, perhaps we have forgotten the need to sow.
我并不是想向人们暗示说，个人魅力中所讲述的诸如个人成长、沟通技巧的训练以及影响力和积极思维方面的教育是没有用的，事实上有时候它们就是成功的核心，我也相信这是事实。但是，它们都是次要的，不是最重要的。也许，我们在借助前辈的肩膀成长时，我们太过于注重塑造我们自己了，以至于我们常常忽视了是前人的肩膀给予我们支撑，或者是因为我们收获了太久，而忘记了我们是需要耕耘的。
If I try to use human influence strategies and tactics of how to get other people to do what I want, to work better, to be more motivated, to like me and each other—while my character is fundamentally flawed, marked by duplicity and insincerity—then, in the long run, I cannot be successful. My duplicity will breed distrust, and everything I do—even using so-called good human relations techniques—will be perceived as manipulative. It simply makes no difference how good the rhetoric is or even how good the intentions are; if there is little or no trust, there is no foundation for permanent success. Only basic goodness gives life to technique.
假如我的品德很差，只是用欺骗和虚伪做外衣，仅仅使用个人影响力作为战略和战术来使得人们为我努力干活，拼命工作，变得更有动力，让我相互喜欢彼此，那么在长久看来是绝对不会取得成功的。我的虚伪将会导致我失信，而且所有那些我使用所谓的良好人际关系技巧去做的事都将会被认为是别有用心的。无论你说的有多么漂亮，目的有多么伟大，你所做的一切都将失去意义。如果没有信誉，那么就没有成功的基础，只有心存善念才能带来美好生活。
To focus on technique is like cramming your way through school. You sometimes get by, perhaps even get good grades, but if you don't pay the price day in and day out, you never achieve true mastery of the subjects you study or develop an educated mind.
只关注技巧就像是上学时只知道死记硬背，虽然有时你会通过考试，甚至可能会获得较好的分数，但是如果你没有日复一日的努力，那么你将永远也不能真正的掌握所学的功课，或者培养出接受过良好教育的思维方式。
Did you ever consider how ridiculous it would be to try to cram on a farm—to forget to plant in the spring, play all summer and then cram in the fall to bring in the harvest? The farm is a natural system. The price must be paid and the process followed. You always reap what you sow; there is no shortcut.
试想假如我们在耕种时也采用这种方法，那将会是多么的荒谬。在春天忘记播种，在整个夏天都在玩乐，然而梦想着在秋天获得丰收，这能行吗？耕种是符合自然规律的，只有付出才能收获，这个 过程是没有任何的捷径可走的。
This principle is also true, ultimately, in human behavior, in human relationships. They, too, are natural systems based on the law of the harvest. In the short run, in an artificial social system such as school, you may be able to get by if you learn how to manipulate the man-made rules, to “play the game.” In most one-shot or short-lived human interactions, you can use the Personality Ethic to get by and to make favorable impressions through charm and skill and pretending to be interested in other people's hobbies. You can pick up quick, easy techniques that may work in short-term situations. But secondary traits alone have no permanent worth in long-term relationships. Eventually, if there isn't deep integrity and fundamental character strength, the challenges of life will cause true motives to surface and human relationship failure will replace short-term success.
在人们的行为中，人与人之间的关系里，这些原则也是最基本且正确的，他们也同样是符合自然规律的。从短期来看，在社会系统中，假如你学会了如何利用规则，知道游戏是怎么玩的，那么你就可能得到你想要的，比如学校的考试。在多数的一次性事物或者短期存在的人类互动中，你能够使用人格魅力获得成功，同时可以通过相貌、技巧以及假装对别人的爱好感兴趣来获得好感。在短期情况下，你使用的的这些快速、简单的技巧是能够起作用，但是在长久的人际关系里，这些方法其实是次要的，而且也不可能带来长期的价值。甚至，如果一个人没有内在的真诚，以及基本的品德力量，那么生活中的挑战将会让他的别有用心显露无疑，也会使他的人际关系轰然崩塌。
Many people with secondary greatness—that is, social recognition for their talents—lack primary greatness or goodness in their character. Sooner or later, you'll see this in every long-term relationship they have, whether it is with a business associate, a spouse, a friend, or a teenage child going through an identity crisis. It is character that communicates most eloquently. As Emerson once put it, “What you are shouts so loudly in my ears cannot hear what you say.”
只因为许多人具备了这些次要的优势，从而被社会所认可，但实际上他们缺乏主要的品德，不是心存善念的。不久之后，你就会发现他们与商业伙伴、配偶、朋友或者处于青春期的孩子们的关系会出现认同感危机。品德才是最有说服力的，正如爱默生所言“大声喧哗，反而难以让人接受”。
There are, of course, situations where people have character strength but they lack communication skills, and that undoubtedly affects the quality of relationships as well. But the effects are still secondary.
当然，拥有良好品德的人如果没有必要的沟通技巧，这毫无疑问会影响各种关系的质量，但是这种影响依然是次要的。
In the last analysis, what we are communicates far more eloquently than anything we say or do. We all know it. There are people we trust absolutely because we know their character. Whether they're eloquent or not, whether they have the human relations techniques or not, we trust them, and we work successfully with them.
总而言之，我们的本质是什么样，要远远比我们说了什么，做过什么更有说服力。我们都知道，我们信任一个人是因为我们认为他们具有良好的品德，无论他们是不是能说会道，无论他们是否掌握了获得良好人际关系的技巧，我们都会信任他们，同他们一起工作是会取得成功的。
In the words of William George Jordan, “Into the hands of every individual is given a marvelous power for good or evil—the silent, unconscious, unseen influence of his life. This is simply the constant radiation of what man really is, not what he pretends to be.”
正如威廉乔治乔丹所言，每个人身上隐藏的真善伪劣，其实是在影响一个人的一生，这无时无刻不在向人们透露他是什么样的一个人，这也是无法伪装出来的。”
The End!