你我不必是心理学家也会明白:想要对爱情作出一个令所有人满意的定义,是一件十分困难的事。那么,心理学中关于爱情,有着哪些见解?
心理学家斯滕伯格提出了爱情三角理论,为我们思考什么是爱情、如何描述一段爱情经历提供了一个简洁而又较为完整的框架。斯滕伯格认为,所有的爱情都包括3种基本成分:
(1)亲密:爱情关系中能让双方感到彼此亲近、相互关联的情感体验。亲密是爱情中的情感成分;
(2)激情:在爱情关系中带来强烈情绪体验的驱动力,如外表吸引力、性需要。激情是爱情中的动机成分;
(3)承诺:一是指短期内爱一个人的决定;二是指长期维系关系做出的担保。承诺是爱情中的认知成分。
根据这3种成分所占的比例不同,有7种类型的爱情(正常来讲,3个元素的组合方式应有8种,但3个成分都没有不算爱情,故共有7种)。
(1)喜欢:只有亲密关系;
(2)迷恋:仅有激情没有亲密和承诺,最明显的是十几岁少男少女的爱情关系;
(3)空洞的爱:只有承诺,比如说普遍存在于中国古代的父母和媒人说了算的婚姻。
(4)浪漫的爱:激情和亲密的组合;
(5)同伴式的爱:亲密和承诺,而没有激情,这种爱情在老夫老妻中常见;
(6)虚幻的爱:没有亲密,只有激情和承诺。
(7)完美的爱:全部囊括3种成分的爱情,是爱情的最高体验。
(参考资料:《社会心理学》第四版 南开大学出版社)
Triangular Theory of Love
We don't have to be psychologists to know that giving an agree-upon definition of love is a murderously tough task. Well, what does love look like in the scope of psychology?
Triangular theory of love, formulated by Sternberg, offers us a framework to describe and think about love. Sternberg hold that 3 basic elements universally presents in all kinds of love:
(1) intimacy: an emotional feeling which brings both partners closer. It is the emotional component of love.
(2) passion: a drive going in hand with storming emotional experience, such as charming appearances and sexual needs. Passion has a motive function.
(3) commitment: referring either to the decision of loving someone in a short period, or to the promises of maintaining a long-term relationship. Commitment is the cognitive element.
There exists 7 types of love dependent upon the different proportions each element consisting of. Mathematically speaking, there should have been 8 types, but it is self-evident that a relationship in the absence of all 3 elements does not count as love.
(1) Liking: this type of love only has intimacy;
(2) Infatuated love: passion is dominant. This type is commonly found in teenagers' relationships.
(3) Empty love: there is no intimacy nor passion, but commitment. Empty love often appears in those marriages planned by parents and matchmakers in ancient China.
(4) Romantic love: a combination of passion and intimacy;
(5) Companionate love: the passion decays, while the intimacy and commitment remain. Old couples are best demonstrations of this kind of relationship;
(6) Fatuous love: passion and commitment without intimacy.
(7) Consummate love: this type includes all 3 elements and it is the peak experience of love.