沈老师英语写作

• Writing strategies for Senior 3

（以南京零模——罗尔事件为例）

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图片发自App

• 第一段：概述材料内容

1.抓大放小：事由、结果

2.运用非谓语、定语从句、介词结构等让句子紧凑并表意丰富

3.切忌事无巨细、引用原文

方法：看懂后，丢掉原文材料

Examples:

1. Luo Er published an article to raise money for the treatment of his daughter’s illness—leukemia and received over 2 million yuan. However, great criticism and heated discussion have been aroused after the confirmation of his ownership of 3 apartments and the comparatively low cost of the treatment. （47 words)•  

2. Luo Er, who obviously has the ability to afford the treatment for his daughter’s illness-leukemia, raised 75 times his spending on the treatment via Wechat, causing considerable criticism and heated discussion.   （29 words）

3. Luo Er, whose daughter unfortunately come down with leukemia, managed to raise much more money than actually needed. As a result, he was flooded with considerable criticism from the Internet with more details revealed. （33 words）

Reference:

A father, who posted his daughter’s illness via WeChat raise money for her treatment, was criticized by the public because he had the ability to cover the medical expenses.  Roger’s version:• The event of Luo Er’s raising money for treating his 5-year-old daughter’s serious illness ---Leukemia has been causing increasing concern and criticism from the public with more and more details revealed.

第二段：文章主体，发表自己的看法

1.看法就是论述（论证）

首先，必须抛出自己对这一现象或事件的态度或观点。——本段的主题句

其次，论证自己的观点或态度。——类似于列出理由：指出后果或本来该有的结果。根据情况，可以只是正面陈述，也可以正反两方面结合。

2.论述过程中一定要因小见大，即从具体事件中推出一般规律或道理，切忌就事论事。具体方法，结合事件发散开去。

3.注意：思路要清晰，要点之间不重复、有层次，语句之间应有适当衔接。

1. Reference:

I’m in complete disagreement with the behavior of the father. It’s apparent that raising money on the Internet is an effective way to help those in need, which can not only assist them in getting through the hardships but also be helpful in creating a harmonious society. However, this father can afford the medical expenses but turned to others for help, which betrayed the public’s trust and made them feel cheated.

2. Roger’s version:

The event itself reflects both social conscience, people’s kindness and also honesty, which are seriously challenged in modern society. On the one hand, people’s generous donation for the girl shows that the majority of the society are still kind, helpful and socially responsible. All the above qualities have been our Chinese traditional virtues for so long a time. On the other hand, Luo Er’s dishonesty and some companies’ so-called marketing exercise, to some extent, means lack and even gradual disappearance of conscience and morality. It’s apparent that collecting money on the Internet is a positive and effective way to help those in need, which can not only assist them in getting through the hardships but also helpful in creating a harmonious society. However, what they did severely betrayed public trust and attitudes towards kindness, making people feel cheated.

第三段：文章结尾，解决问题或总结启示或教训

1.顺延第二段的论述，发表自己对这类问题或事件的解决办法或从中得到的启示。其实，就是该怎么做才是正能量。

2.至少提出2点，最后一段一般也可以自成体系，即主题句+2点启示或建议或做法+总结句（必要的情况下，不要生搬硬套）

3.注意：不要重复第二段的语句和思路。结尾段不是论述事件或问题本身，而是收尾，也就是解决问题的阶段。

Roger’s version:

From my personal perspective, only those who are in desperate need can seek for help from others. Meanwhile, the government and relevant authorities should make efforts to enhance the supervision of the identity of those seeking help and get to the truth of their problems.

• An amazing sample•

A man named Luo Er published an article about his 5-year-old daughter’s leukemia to raise money, which, however, turned out to be a cheat. Actually, Luo is much better off than many people and the money he has raised is 75 times his spending on his daughter’s treatment.

Luo made use of the Internet and the kindness of people to get money and undertook little risk, whose behavior was annoying and immoral and of great harm to the society. In case of similar incidents, many people may prefer to refuse or neglect rather than give a hand in fear of falling for a cheat. Thus, trust between people is gradually fading. Moreover, if the man doesn’t get punished (go unpunished), more crimes will be committed and the justice of the society will be destroyed.

Therefore, the government should attach importance to this case and relevant actions should be taken to perfect the law and regulate the society, especially the Internet world. What’s more, the morality should always be our basic principle when we do everything. Only in this way can we protect the justice of the society and strengthen trust between people.