day130

今天的神翻讲堂依旧是张培基的英译散文赏析，配合要点讲解，需细细研讨，对提高翻译技巧会有一定的帮助。

▍本期练习

1. 初级：

“Instead of wondering when your next vacation is, maybe you should set up a life you don’t need to escape from.” – Seth Godin（英译汉）

Tip：Instead of 代替，而不是；wonder v. 想知道；set up v. 开始，开办，建立；escape from vt. 逃脱

2. 挑战：

“你只活一次，但如果你做了你想做的事，一次就已足够。”——梅•韦斯特（汉译英）

Tip：活 live；一次 once

▍上期回顾

1.初级：

原文：There is a key difference between being alone and feeling lonely.（英译汉）

参考译文：“独自一人” 和“感到孤独” 有着根本的区别。

2.挑战：

原文：Our relationship with ourselves is the most important one of our lives; we won’t spend as much time with anyone else! Learning to enjoy our own company and enjoy being alone is invaluable on so many levels.（英译汉）

参考译文：我们的一生中，自己与自己的关系无疑是最重要的——你和别人相处的时间，永远比不上和自己在一块儿的长！学会享受独处时光，并爱上这种感觉——这会是一种从各方面而言都极度珍贵的能力。

▍神翻讲堂：

生命 Life
何为 He Wei
| 译文摘自张培基《英译中国散文选二》

如果回归自然，各有不同的方式，后人总是尊重前人最后一次选择。一位朋友偶然讲起一件事，有如一篇小小说，听者动容。
There are various ways of returning to nature, but people generally respect the last wish made by their parents towards their journey’s end. A friend of mine incidentally related to me the following occurrence which, like a little story, is very touching:

要点：

1. “前人最后一次选择”译者按“父母的临终愿望”之意译为the last wish made by their parents towards their journey’s end，其中one’s journey’s end意为“临终，生命的尽头”也可译为the last wish made by their parents towards the end of their life journey
2. “一位朋友偶然讲起一件事”译为A friend of mine incidentally related to me the following occurrence，其中relate 意为“讲述”其同义词有recount，recourse, speak of, occurrence指“发生的事情”比thing更加高端啊有木有~
3. “听者动容”即“令听者动容”或“令人动容”=touching

在新开发的丛林里，一条蜿蜒的小径上，一个衣着素色的女人踽踽独行，径直走向林子里的一棵树。这里许多树大小参差不一，有的移植不久，不过都长得很快。在一个时期内，都挺直有神。新生的树叶嫩绿有生机。当然，有人专门护理这些纪念树。
In a newly opened-up forest, a quietly dressed woman walked all by herself on a winding path straight towards one of the trees. There were many trees of varying sizes, and some had just been transplanted, but all were shooting up fast, standing straight and stout and covered with light green young leaves. Evidently, some people had been put in charge of these memorial trees.

要点：

1. “在新开发的丛林里，一条蜿蜒的小径上，一个衣着素色的女人踽踽独行，径直走向林子里的一棵树。”本句虽然是四个散句，表达的却是一连串的动作，因此可以调整顺序后将其整合为“一个衣着素色的女人独自沿着蜿蜒的小径走向一棵树”译为In a newly opened-up forest, a quietly dressed woman walked all by herself on a winding path straight towards one of the trees.
   2.“衣着素色的“译为a quietly dressed，此处的quiet意指“颜色素净，不显眼”；踽踽独行即独自行走=walked all by herself
2. shoot up意为上冒，喷出，猛长=spring up,更加生动形象地表现出树木那富有生机的生长状态，是一个值得借鉴的好词。
3. “有人专门护理这些纪念树”译为some people had been put in charge of these memorial trees。此处“专门护理”宜理解为专门负责照顾这些树，也可译为some person had been specially assigned to take good care of the memorial trees.
   综述：类似于shoot up这种生动形象的词我们之前也见过不少，比如put forth, sprout up/out.

不知多少年来，这个女人总是带着一束鲜花默默地置于树根旁，然后仰起头来，对着树身凝视，翕动着她独有的小小嘴唇，既像独语，又像倾诉。她退后一步，打量她这树高了多少，细心地除去树下斑斑驳驳的落叶，向这颗移植多年的树倾身拥抱，亲了一下，轻轻摩挲树皮的皱纹，如同面对一个有生命的躯体。不久，她依依不舍的转身离去，消失在暮色渐浓的秋天最后一抹余晖里。
As she had been doing for we don’t know how many years, the woman stood silently beside the tree with a bunch of fresh flowers in her hand. She raised her head to fix her eyes on the tree and kept moving her unique small lips as if she were soliloquizing or sharing her innermost feelings with someone. She took a step back to assess how much the tree had grown in height and softly removed the mottled fallen leaves under it. She bent forward to hug and kiss the tree that had been transplanted many years before, and gently stroked its wrinkled bark as if it were something alive. Then she reluctantly turned round and left, vanishing into the last rays of an autumn day in the deepening dusk.

要点：

1.“不知多少年来”译为As she had been doing for we don’t know how many years，其中we don’t know how是插入语，用以表达原文的不知，此从句也可译为她这样做已经许多年了，即As had always been the case for many years或as she had been doing this for many years. 在《我坐了木船》中也有类似表述——“跑了不知多少趟，总算有眉目了”译为After making you don’t know how many visits, there eventually appear signs of positive outcome. 其中的you don’t know how也是插入语，修饰many.
2.“翕动”即不断地张合故译kept moving
3.“依依不舍”一般都用reluctant来翻，如It the time to go back. We were fascinated by the scenery and reluctant to leave. 该返回了，我们被这景色深深吸引住了，不愿离去。
综述：本段有很多文学性较强的词如“独语”“倾诉”“斑斑驳驳”的“摩挲”“翕动”都是我们需要积累的哦。还是那句话：文学性很重要的一个体现就是在选词用词上。

一阵秋风吹过，树叶沙沙地响动，仿佛隐秘的私语。女人顿时回过身来，惟有她才能听懂私语的全部含意。于是喃喃自语向大树告诉。含着泪，走向她的归途。年复一年，小径上的女人孤独的背影，显得越来越苍老了。
At a sudden gust of the autumn wind, the tree rustled like it was whispering secretly and the woman, being the only person capable of understanding the full implications of the whisper, immediately turned round. Then, after mumbling a few words to the tree, she said goodbye to it and set out on her way home with tears in her eyes. As the years went by, the woman, a regular solitary visitor on the path, became older and older.

要点：

1. “一阵秋风吹过”即秋风起或，起了一阵秋风，故译At a sudden gust of the autumn wind，其中at的含义是：由于作为对…的反应。
   2.“树叶沙沙地响动，仿佛隐秘的私语”译为the tree rustled like it was whispering secretly and the woman.沙沙地响动=rustle, 简洁生动，拟声词在文学翻译中的作用也是应该引起重视的。
2. “惟有她才能听懂私语的全部含意”其实隐含了“因为”这层关系，因此译为being the only person capable of understanding the full implications of the whisper
   4.“小径上的女人孤独的背影，显得越来越苍老了”如果直接译为背影变得苍老，会引起外国读者的困惑，因此可以按照“常见于小径上的那个孤独女人，显得越来越苍老了”，译为the woman, a regular solitary visitor on the path, became older and older.
   综述：介词，拟声词，显示了译者扎实的语法功底和语言功底，惟有不断积累和运用才能成就的事业。

若干年后，这棵树长得更高大了，树冠缀满葱茏的树叶。它屹立在这片土地上，风吹来，满树充满生命的绿色更繁茂了。它对着苍穹，仰望太阳、月亮和星星的运行，与大自然亲密无间连成一片。
Several years later, the tree became even taller and was crowned with verdant foliage. It stood erect and became more and more luxuriantly green in the wind. It looked up at the firmament to watch the motions of the sun, moon and stars and thus merged itself with Mother Nature.

要点：

1.“风吹来”也是采用介词+名词的形式译为in the wind，置于句中，凸显句式的简洁。

2. “缀满”=be crowed with=be filled with，crowed 较filled更加生动。
   3.“与…连成一片”=merge oneself with

又过了些时候，靠近大树旁出现了一棵新移植的小树。小树很壮硕，也很安静。随着岁月递增，年长日久，大树和小树埋在泥土下的根茎错节，相互交织。两棵树下各埋着一个精致的小木盒，木盒里的骨灰，逐渐化为树根下的有机肥，融入树身内。两个老者相继以这样的方式回归自然，在大自然的怀抱中，生命得以延续。树上每一片小绿叶都蕴含着绿色的希望。这是真的，是一首歌颂树葬的诗篇。不用问他们是谁，是谁，就是谁。
Another period of time afterwards, there appeared close to it a newly transplanted small tree. It was robust and quiet. With the passage of time, the roots of the two trees had become twined together. They each had a delicate small wooden cinerary casket buried underneath them. The ashes in the caskets had gradually turned into organic fertilizer passing into the trees trunks by way of the roots. The two elderly persons had successively chosen the same way of returning to nature so as to have life prolonged in the bosom of nature. Each tender leaf in the trees was pregnant with green hope. It’s a true story. It’s a poem singing the praises of tree burial. No need to identify the two elderly people though. It could be any person.

要点：

1. “根茎错节，相互交织”即“树根相互盘绕”即the roots of the two trees had become twined together.
2. “两棵树下各埋着一个精致的小木盒”译为They each had a delicate small wooden cinerary casket buried underneath them. have done表被动。
   3.“木盒里的骨灰，逐渐化为树根下的有机肥，融入树身内”即“木盒里的骨灰，逐渐化为有机肥，通过树根，进入树身”译为The ashes in the caskets had gradually turned into organic fertilizer passing into the trees trunks by way of the roots. by way of 已经粗线好多次了意同于through
   4.“是谁，就是谁”即“可能是任何一个人”，译为It could be any person

综述：注意本段中式散句的翻译，有些句子直译会引起困惑，需要译者把握及整合其具体意思而后进行翻译，本篇文章短小而有有味道，文字清新且富有诗意，无论是赏析还是拿来做练习都是一种享受。

▍我的翻译

1. 初级

与其犹豫下次旅游去哪里，不如开始一种你不需逃离的生活。

2. 挑战

You can live once. But if you do what you want, once is enough.

▍尚待学习