The strengh of habits

My anxiety are coming more frequent these days. The main factor that cause my depression is the large discrepancy between fast pace of life and slow pace of life. I should have enjoyed my decent paid leave of 9 days, appreciating the natural stunning vistas, tasting palatable foods, swimming in the lake where is exclusively exists in my hometown, but I found I am still unsettled.

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I thought I am cut off from the world at the moment when I reached my hometown, which is located in a remote mountain area, but it turned out to be a false assumption. Relentless calls and messages never fails to disturbed my holiday. When I began to answer these calls and messages, I felt confused and have no mood to enjoy the landscape. Ultimately, I realized that It's impossible to cut off the connection with the world.

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On the other hand, I found that I cannot get used to the slow pace of life. I habitually got up early at 6 am but everyone was still sleeping. I tried to sleep longer but only being awake  in bed. I must postpone my plan of learning English and doing exercised because I spent lots of time to visit some relatives which is our customs the elders told. I didn't mean to resent these customs. On the contrary, I really like them. I just feel upset because I procrastinate my plan. How strong a habit is!

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As my last article says, we shoulde embrace the change. My vacation is a typical mere change of my life, I should embrace this change, adjust my plan and carry out the new plan. It is why I feel anxious that I always persue a perfect result. The persuit of perfection, often yields more shame than satisfaction. 

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Change isn't dreadful, but no action is. Defeat is not the worst of failures, not to have tried is the true failure.